Brit Taxi Driver Nicked in France for Speeding on wrong Side of the Road

Dear Fritz,

The old ones are the best! This was sent me by one classy lady - my Norwegian Aunt, who is currently in the Bahamas, where she lives in exile for nine months of the year. She is allowed 90 days per year in Norway. Sad really!

Fredrik

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
Dear Fritz,

The old ones are the best! This was sent me by one classy lady - my Norwegian Aunt, who is currently in the Bahamas, where she lives in exile for nine months of the year. She is allowed 90 days per year in Norway. Sad really!

Fredrik

She can stay as long as she likes Our Fredders, it's called payin yer taxes mate, ask Our Mick*

Regards,


Fritz von Clean as a nine bob note*

Dear Fritz,

It is not her taxes, but her late husband's! He worked for Coca Cola for 40 odd years in Norway, and was US Dollar paid. He died in harnase, and his pension is likewise USD. It would be worth not much in Norway, if it could be cashed at all. So it is a nuisance, but at least my aunt misses the cold dark winter!

All the best from Fredrik

PS: Have you looked at the tax rates in Norway? Amazing!

Tell her to send best regards to 007, sorry I mean Sir 007.



Fritz von Oscar Wilde was highly taxed too, but remained true, no matter what they said, innit*

P.S. Any individual is only responsible for their own taxes I'm afraid Fredders old bean, in the end IFA's, accountants, Finance Minsters, only advise you! you sign the paperwork and are ultimately culpable, ex-spouse, child, or whatever, amusingly here in Germany debts are inherent, I'd love to see them try to pull that one off in Blighty*

Dear Fritz, I really hope to see her this summer. She is one of the nicest people I know. Actually she is the nicest person I know, - she understands me as well, and still we get on! Fredrik

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
Dear Fritz, I really hope to see her this summer. She is one of the nicest people I know. Actually she is the nicest person I know, - she understands me as well, and still we get on! Fredrik

Don't foregt yer sun blocker son*

Dear Fritz,

I don't ever sun-bathe! It is much too cold to lye about up the mountains even in the summer!

As for Oslo, the sooner I escape the city the better in my view. It has its good points, but 48 hours is long enough for me...

All the best from Fredrik

Tired, Poor, Huddled Masses

The immigration battle has reached the Senate floor, and the argument has been fierce. In 1965, the U.S. had 30,000 immigrants a year. Today there are more than 1 million legal immigrants a year and another 1 million illegal immigrants a year. Thirty-three million people in the U.S. today are foreign-born. America is being swamped in a tide of legal and illegal immigrants, many believe. And public opinion polls of every stripe show that Americans today have immigration fatigue. They want dramatically lower levels of both legal and illegal immigration. The country splits either for Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo of Colorado or for Republican President George W. Bush. Tancredo is the view of Main Street. Bush is the view of Wall Street. Tancredo wants curbs on both legal and illegal immigration. Bush wants an open-door policy. Tancredo is red state. Bush is blue state. Red and blue states are reconciled by having one belief in common - namely, ratchet up border enforcement, especially cross-border Mexico-U.S. illicit entry enforcement. But the biggest problem is the number of resident illegal aliens living within the U.S.: 12 million. What's the best way to handle this complicated, polarizing and refractory issue? Answer: To let it resolve itself by eliminating benefits given to illegal aliens. Without those benefits as incentives, and with a full-scale border-crossing crackdown, the problem of 12 million resident illegal aliens will solve itself over time by attrition, many say.

This is not Ellis Island immigration. This is an invasion of the United States, when every single year more people come across our border and succeed, one in 12 of them with a criminal record, than the entire Army of the United States of America. This is a border security, a national security, a national survival issue. The Democratic Party, incidentally, is selling out black people and union people because of the enormous competition for workers. And the Republican Party is fundamentally selling out the country. There is no constituency for amnesty or guest workers outside ethnic lobbies and special interests that dominate and own the Republican Party.
-Pat Buchanan

(Taken from laztest McGlaughlin-Group website)

I ain't sayin nuffink, though I'd imagine 48 hours from Oslo is slightly better than 24 from Tulsa, or Rosenheim even*

2-0....

nice

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
2-0....

nice

Not to mention all the Coppers overtime Our Andy, or you gonna tell me I'm wrong, they fight over it between themselves more than the bloody yobs do, as well you know John*

Regards,

Fritz von Keepin it real*

P.S.

Tha answer was er, c) if anybody's at all at all interested?

Being Palm Sunday it's strange to talk about Kylie's bum, especially when a man's hand is stroking it!*


Fritz von Everyone to themselves that's what I say*

And there's Our Tarquers only last month slagging off folk for asking daft questions, innit*

Fritz von I expect the Union Jack Club does a discount*

FRitz,

I don't qualify for O/T at the mo, so that comments a little wasted on me me old sonny Brucie.

FWIW the police op around a Man U game (home or away) is just huge....

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
FRitz,

I don't qualify for O/T at the mo, so that comments a little wasted on me me old sonny Brucie.

FWIW the police op around a Man U game (home or away) is just huge....

Without hopingly sounding too boring, that's in fact the third time you've stated that on this forum within the last few months, and is I expect why I subconsciously mentioned it, innit:


Fritz von Goodnight goodnight goodnight*

Hey,
If you took it in the 1st time, instead of having to repeat old points, I wouldn't need to keep reminding you, would I?

Still, I could just ignore you, but thats not the point either, is it?

Then again, If you don't know any new gags...

ps - I don't do comedy via type, I struggle with the punchlines...

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Seconded.

She has reigned since 1952 and has never caused one shred of embarassment or concern. She is an exceptional Queen.

If some republican pinko shows his ugly mug they can bugger off. She is useful, brings in billions of trade and the pinko is plain bloody useless and of benefit to no one. If they died no one would neither notice nor care, so pinkos can stay away from this thread.

Regards

Mick

Nothing to do with unadulterated greed then Our Mick, though I must admit HM's total dislike of Thatcher did cheer me up no end at the time!*


Fritz von You go off to Spain John and learn some English*

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
Hey,
If you took it in the 1st time, instead of having to repeat old points, I wouldn't need to keep reminding you, would I?

Still, I could just ignore you, but thats not the point either, is it?

Then again, If you don't know any new gags...

ps - I don't do comedy via type, I struggle with the punchlines...

Sounds like classic official buck passing to me Our Andy, though here the evidence is apparent for everybody to see John*


Fritz von I hope your memory improves when you take your final Inspector exams old Son, in London policing of football matches isn't needed, the lads do it themselves, it's just the er, media wallys with cameras yer have t'watch out for, inventing their non existent scoops all over the place at any poor buggers expense, innit*

quote:

Sounds like classic official buck passing to me Our Andy, though here the evidence is apparent for everybody to see John*

Touche, Fritz*

PS my memory is fine - I never denied posting the comment you refer to three times - my ref was to you mentioning o/t a couple of times when policey stuff is mentioned.

Still, what's good for one is good for another, eh?**

Oh, and you make an assumption that officers fight over o/t...

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
Oh, and you make an assumption that officers fight over o/t...

I think it's impotent that you believe what you wish to believe though don't expect folk on here to believe it all without question. In the real world (ie, in the Met Now this minute, and with some other British forces where I know some folk, overtime scrambling still does go on (often priority given to family men), and its still a big argument and bad-vibes bringer (you just have to look at the quality of many entrants to work that one out). I wish I had the tea breaks you get though Our Andy, and I think you'll find I've always referred to overtime in general and not to you personally, to be honest I can't give a monkey's mate.


Fritz von Ban all overpaid CEO's and in fact make them pay when performances don't occur (ie often & especially PFI taxpayers jobbies), as they do a fraction of the work and build up; any pro sports-person does, though it's true some clubs need to cap their wages somewhat (managers too, & sharpish, never mind the poxy er, scouts/agents):


Owen's been helping Wayney all along*

Our Erik requires some training I reckon!*


I ain't sayin nuffink though*

She's gonna have a police shadow or two for awhile I reckon! Literally just watched an interview with Ruth Thingy of Rape against Wimmin or whatever, and Boy, what a scathing attack she gave the old bill in no uncertain terms. Endless sabotaging of cases, promotion for guilty officers instead of diciplining and possibly booting them out, even prosecution (Civvy's are accused of perverting the C of J of course). As well as of course how the er, media will say how lucky and free and democratic you all are to let her say such stuff, I reckon she's gonna get nicked on a jumped up speeding charge or some such very soon, just watch this space*


Fritz von Respect for the Lady, she's got more guts than many 'whatever's' put together, and more*


N.B. I wonder how Our Steve's Chauffeur's getting along with the traffic light tale then, talk about captive audience?*

I recall Arry Enfield just standing there and repeatedly saying arse, much to the endless amusement of the er, 'audience'.


Fritz von Probably the most commonly used word in Berlin today on a daily basis is 'Arsche' and all (two) of its derivitives, so the World Cup visitors will feel wholly at home I feel, if indeed England happen to even play in Berlin that is, innit?*


UB40

Football next to music & other sports bring peoples of the world together in a non violent way more than any politician, or businessman could do in their wildest dreams.


Fritz von Of course good old war is the other alternative, which is fine if you happen to be neutral, and making and selling the weapons to-boot, just like so many countries that we all know and love so very close to home, in fact it is home, well I'll be beavered, innit*

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mum, I have something to tell you, I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response. The guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mum, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!"


Fritz von Hear about the geezer from Swindon who thought a packet of frosties was a tiger jigsaw puzzle?