Brit Taxi Driver Nicked in France for Speeding on wrong Side of the Road

quote:

Originally posted by Spock:

quote:

Originally posted by Spock:
I'm taking the kids camping at Easter. I'm only going 24 Miles to Oxford so I can nip back home if things get shitty.

Spock

Update: I got the tent pitched by 11am this morning. I'm back home in Swindon at 4pm. Is that a record? I'm covered in Duck shit and so is the tent and the kids. The tent is still in the Duck shit field in Oxford and I must return this evening to sleep in the damn thing or my kids will hate me forever.

Bah

Spock

Avian Flu scare one imagines?



Fritz von Sounds like a job for Parry & Tarquers to me*



P.S. Couldn't belive the whingeing of the British couple who (Tragically) lost their son in Israel, what do these people want for God's sake? Perhaps they should consider the still open-ended Bloody Sunday inquiry (nearly £4oo Million of your money going nowhere fast so far down the drain) two dead judges (old age) start again, and just about everybody else will be dead and gone soon too (and those MP's massacred in Iraq, and their families expecting answers are living in cloud bloody cuckoo land), don't forget if yer persue and win yer case, we'll stop yer widders pension in good old British style, keep em down the oiky bastards, that's what Our Mick says*

If I didnee know any better I'd say that Our Tony's had a few nippy sweeties, bringing those old chestnuts oot, anall, innjit*



Fritz von Steamy Winjers*

Just watched this, You Know me! Check it out if you dare*


Fritz von The Irish are the best people in the world*

of course it's arsch for the purists*

Julius Caesar is addressing the Roman crowd. "Friends Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gaul’s
and return victorious." The crowd are up on their feet "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar" Brutus turns to his mate and says " He doesn't half talk some shi*e eh? He
couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag."

Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses the crowd in the Coliseum. " Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gaul’s". The crowd are up on their feet again. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty
Caesar". Brutus once again turns to his mate "I'm sick of his bullsh*t, I'm off to France to check this out." Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome.

Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort those b*stards out" The crowd are up on their feet."Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar" Brutus jumps up and shouts, "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gaul’s in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000!!!!"

The crowd are stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says,
"Brutus, you are forgetting one thing- . Away Gaul’s count double in Europe."



Fritz von Just in from Our Steve's Cheuffeur, bloody Romans eh!*

Some 30,000+ live chickens have been (officially) destroyed in this region in the last 48 hours (Pidgeon Specialists are fighting to save their racers today in court too). As sad that may be, it's nice to see Britain leading the way (how many have been destroyed in Scotland so far then?) still talking are we?


Fritz von Sometimes I really wonder why rules exist?



Sterling Job Methinks!

What a waste of money that car is...

I wonder how many cars were ordered at the same time, in the same finish!

I bet There's someone with no legs just out of the cameras view as well.

quote:

Originally posted by Beano:
What a waste of money that car is...

I wonder how many cars were ordered at the same time, in the same finish!

I bet There's someone with no legs just out of the cameras view as well.

Getting legless in the UAE is a headless offence, they all go to Bahrain to get pissed with the European tax free wallers, innit*


Fritz von I prefer the Silver Cluid mesen Dave*

quote:

Originally posted by graham55:
Richard

You're fully entitled to be sceptical, but today's Times goes into a lot of detail about the various dirty little moneygrubbers involved.

Rooney's clearly of low intelligence, but did he need to have the likes of Owen, Lampard, Terry and drug-cheat Ferdinand goading him into this world of money-grabbing sharks?

Graham

Considering your abusive comments to me and others on here in the past (Jock or no Jock) and your openly stated profession (wether true or not is of little interest or importance), I just will put it to you John, that your moral opinion and quoting of trash rags cuts no ice whatso'ever, innit*


Fritz von Get a Life*

Hey Fritz, your comment about not caring doesn't cut it. If you didn't care, you wouldn't post the comments. Unless of course you are just attn seeking...

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
Hey Fritz, your comment about not caring doesn't cut it. If you didn't care, you wouldn't post the comments. Unless of course you are just attn seeking...

I've been continually accussed of attention seeking since first entering this forum, what's your excuse Sarge?

Fritz von You've been on one of those 5 minute Govt basic psychology refresher courses again I see*

Love the idea of saving motorists having their money stolen from their cars, saves the cops investigating the thefts too, dunnit (not that I've heard of anybody even going out to a house call, well 3 days later perhaps, with a CIS unit for the Chief Supers daughter!

Fritz von Found any 50Ps lately guvnor?*


Absolutely pathetic, can't wait for the rational logic, saves on overtime I expect too*

quote:

I've been continually accussed of attention seeking since first entering this forum, what's your excuse Sarge?

Oh, I just enjoy the banter...

...and mingling with the real people, seeing as you think I don't mix with real folk anyway.

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:

quote:

I've been continually accused of attention seeking since first entering this forum, what's your excuse Sarge?

Oh, I just enjoy the banter...

...and mingling with the real people, seeing as you think I don't mix with real folk anyway.

I don't think anything Dave

Regards,


Fritz von You tell em Son*

quote:

I don't think anything Dave

True

I was preparing me mate Dave's bird's sermon earlier for next Sunday evening, and I was surpirised to learn that the Angel Satan was actually kicked out because of his lack of veneration for Adam?


Fritz von Erik me old gristle muncher i Is glad ýou've reached the long - distance internet telepathy stage of your Llama teachins my Son, parhaps you could get me Memphis Tennessee later?*


How can Iron be new then?


Any new iron any new iron, any any any new iron?

I wonder who the er, US media'll blame when the 9/11 suspect gets free'd because of the prosecution's over the top emotional 'evidence' that they were advised not to use under any cucumbers, a bit like the Brit in Boston really innit?


Fritz von 4% of French folk live under the poverty line (official), though er, 10%+ of Brits do (even sometimes with up to 3 jobs), no wonder the Staudents are revolting (and winning, in case Our Mick missed that little victory of common sense and living quality, I expect Our Steve will be revelling in it, innit) as he can get pissed not being a driver ana'll`*

Strange but true*

Check out 'Out of Rosenheim' Brillint Movie and it'll cost yer 5 an a tanner*

[QUOTE]

Fritz von Fritz old chop,

If only Satan had been allowed back in we would have been spared the considerable embuggerence of periodic visits to hell. That God really knows to how to hold a grudge don't he? He should get some therapy in my view.

Do you still play the bagpipes our Fritz?

Erik von I think we should be told*

Bush has just been infoamed that Zarathustra was er, Iranian!


Fritz von Apparenty he went Ballistic*


Goodnight*

quote:

Check out 'Out of Rosenheim' Brillint Movie and it'll cost yer 5 an a tanner*

What is it about our Fritz?

The fastest Indian I've ever known was knocked up in the Chiefs microwave in three minutes flat, bloody marvellous, don't know how he does it?


Fritz von Excellent family filum too Our Eric, check it out, and don't ask such stupid bloody questions, you're sounding more like Lance Jack Partly-Manly by the day Sir*

Brandenburg's Easter fires were lit this evening and will continue to burn right through until Easter Sunday Eve; innit*


Fritz von I've often thought of stonehenge as just a big grate!*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
The fastest Indian I've ever known was knocked up in the Chiefs microwave in three minutes flat, bloody marvellous, don't know how he does it?


Fritz von Excellent family filum too Our Eric, check it out, and don't ask such stupid bloody questions, you're sounding more like Lance Jack Partly-Manly by the day Sir*

I will check the filum out our Fritz as Im partial to a good family film. My question seems to have hit a raw nerve, the bagpipes do that for some but personally I love em. I reckon your dad is from Glasgow but moved down sarf to get a better life for his family but secretly pined for Scotland so he had you join a pipe band. Am I right? I had 4 pipers and 2 drummers at me wedding reception and they whipped up an almighty din in the Empress ball room at the Grand Hotel, Brighton. Some of the guest were pained by this (and made unkind comments about the noise being worse than a certain explosion some years before)but it got me right here Fritz (erik thumps fist on heart)and as they marched out playing the 'Black Bear' I was all choked up.

TMP was an SNCO our Fritz - credit where credit due eh?

Erik von keeping it fair innit*

quote:

Originally posted by erik scothron:
TMP was an SNCO our Fritz - credit where credit due eh?

Erik von keeping it fair innit*

You mean he's an old Lance Jack, though automatic full-screw in the Old TA; and Our Mick got immediate Major (with sausages & a bit of dripping) cannie beat a good few men, innit*

Fritz von 50%+ of wee lasses under 15 can play the pipes in Scotland Boyo*


Jonnie leave that cooking sherry alone damn you*

Well I suppose as the most important celebration in the Christian world is approaching once again (many think it's thanksgiving actually) one should in the great words of 'Fog', namely Capt Mark Phillips remain 'Humile', innit*

Fritz von What days they really were*

Wonderful to see new heights being gained on this forum once again (without my help).


Fritz von Obvious innit Tom*