Schooldays monkey business!
Posted by: Chillkram on 18 October 2006
What were your favourite/naughtiest/funniest/most embarrassing pranks whilst at school or college?
I'm sure we are all now more, ahem, mature but no doubt there was a time when we got up to a bit of monkey business!
I didn't get up to too much bad behaviour, but my favourite story was about the time I took my dad's cheap christmas present aftershave to school at the age of about sixteen and surreptitiously squirted it at the teacher's back when she wasn't looking.
This was quite funny at first, but clearly the prank had a bit more potential.
I went home at lunchtime and rounded up all the the cheap aftershaves in my dad's cabinet; Brut, Blue Stratos, Denim, Hai Karate and some Boots Cedarwood. He also happened to have a squeezy bottle, that must have been about 500ml, of something so cheap I cannot even remember the name. All unwanted, unused presents from great aunties and second cousins twice removed.
I mixed them all up in the squeezy bottle and took them to school.
In the afternoon I had history and always sat at the back. This was perfect.
I started off and targeted the girl sitting right in front of me, A little squeeze and a small jet of my 'special mix' shot over and landed on her back. She looked around and I was deep into my text book. Probably nothing, she must have thought. Brilliant. Egged on by my mate I tried again and got the girl two rows in front. Again, nose deep into my books, I looked completely innocent.
Now the bravado started to kick in and the bottle was proving to be an excellent propellant for the foul smelling mixture. I got ambitious. I pointed out a girl at the front of the class to my mate. I can get her with a bit of an extra hard squeeze. No chance, he said. Never one to shirk a challenge, this was like a red rag to a bull.
I lined her up. I calculated the necessary trajectory. I gave the bottle an almighty squeeze.
The top went flying off at huge velocity, followed only just behind by the entire rancid contents of the bottle. I watched in horror as it arced through the air and landed on my chosen target soaking the back of her blouse to the skin and drenching her hair!
At this point the girl let out a piercing scream and the class was suddenly in uproar.
Everyone turned around to look at the area this attack had come from. No point looking at my books now. I was sat there clutching the, by now, empty bottle looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
The teacher was initially dumbstruck and was clearly having difficulty figuring out what had just happened.
It was near the end of the day anyway and she sent all the others home, detaining just myself and my victim.
The head of year was sent for.
Luckily for me, it turned out that the girl fancied me and didn't want to pursue the matter. I got away with paying for her blouse to be dry cleaned. It must have taken weeks for her to get the stench out of her hair.
I still got a week's worth of detention, though.
What stories are you too embarrassed to tell your kids, or maybe you revel in your former rebellious streak!
Mark
I'm sure we are all now more, ahem, mature but no doubt there was a time when we got up to a bit of monkey business!
I didn't get up to too much bad behaviour, but my favourite story was about the time I took my dad's cheap christmas present aftershave to school at the age of about sixteen and surreptitiously squirted it at the teacher's back when she wasn't looking.
This was quite funny at first, but clearly the prank had a bit more potential.
I went home at lunchtime and rounded up all the the cheap aftershaves in my dad's cabinet; Brut, Blue Stratos, Denim, Hai Karate and some Boots Cedarwood. He also happened to have a squeezy bottle, that must have been about 500ml, of something so cheap I cannot even remember the name. All unwanted, unused presents from great aunties and second cousins twice removed.
I mixed them all up in the squeezy bottle and took them to school.
In the afternoon I had history and always sat at the back. This was perfect.
I started off and targeted the girl sitting right in front of me, A little squeeze and a small jet of my 'special mix' shot over and landed on her back. She looked around and I was deep into my text book. Probably nothing, she must have thought. Brilliant. Egged on by my mate I tried again and got the girl two rows in front. Again, nose deep into my books, I looked completely innocent.
Now the bravado started to kick in and the bottle was proving to be an excellent propellant for the foul smelling mixture. I got ambitious. I pointed out a girl at the front of the class to my mate. I can get her with a bit of an extra hard squeeze. No chance, he said. Never one to shirk a challenge, this was like a red rag to a bull.
I lined her up. I calculated the necessary trajectory. I gave the bottle an almighty squeeze.
The top went flying off at huge velocity, followed only just behind by the entire rancid contents of the bottle. I watched in horror as it arced through the air and landed on my chosen target soaking the back of her blouse to the skin and drenching her hair!
At this point the girl let out a piercing scream and the class was suddenly in uproar.
Everyone turned around to look at the area this attack had come from. No point looking at my books now. I was sat there clutching the, by now, empty bottle looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
The teacher was initially dumbstruck and was clearly having difficulty figuring out what had just happened.
It was near the end of the day anyway and she sent all the others home, detaining just myself and my victim.
The head of year was sent for.
Luckily for me, it turned out that the girl fancied me and didn't want to pursue the matter. I got away with paying for her blouse to be dry cleaned. It must have taken weeks for her to get the stench out of her hair.
I still got a week's worth of detention, though.
What stories are you too embarrassed to tell your kids, or maybe you revel in your former rebellious streak!
Mark