CSI: Ambleside

On the ‘Roids
Bad Losers At Yahoo Chess
Blue Badge Abuser
Life In The Bus Lane

are possible tracks ....


Here comes the black horse
There goes the brown cow
Full of ringers of course
Thrown up from the plough
The hoops and the stripes
The halves and the quarters
The Sunday morning rain
The touchline refrain

chorus:
He’s on the ‘roids
Just walk away John, come on
Just walk away John because
He’s on the ‘roids

It’s Lee’s twenty-first
But they’re not coming in
Because Bruiser McHuge
Declares them too thin
Annoyed and upset
They head for elsewhere
They normally argue the toss
But besides being boss

chorus

He used to lark with the dreads
Now he’s a nark on the steds

His paranoia and absurd
Are you thinking about my bird?

chorus

Why Ambleside?
BTW, which speakers do you use ROTF, since we have identical Naim electronics?

quote:

Originally posted by rupert bear:
Why Ambleside?
BTW, which speakers do you use ROTF, since we have identical Naim electronics?

Why not Ambleside?



Allaes

CD (PROBE??CD), 28 April 2008

Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled)
Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess
Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show
Ode To Joyce
Blue Badge Abuser
Totnes Bickering Fair
King Of Hi-Vis
Lord Hereford's Knob
On The 'Roids
Petty Sessions
Little In The Way Of Sunshine
Give Us Bubblewrap
National Sh1te Day

Yes thanks -

Please see my post in the padded cell on More really annoying things that people say for Breaking News - just a click away

sorry have to dash and read a review of the Microphone of the Month.

You need to get out more ROTF!

quote:

Originally posted by Chris Kelly:
You need to get out more ROTF!

I get out as often as a Commodore - once, twice, three times a season

Hey Joyce
Rock and Roll never gave you a voice
It’s never given you so much as a lament
So I went to the store
And I bought a guitar
To bestow this accolade on you
Just you
Not Sally, Carrie Anne or Peggy Sue
I’m going to spend my next half day with a girl Joyce
Going to possibly stop at Tebay with a girl called Joyce

Hey Joyce
I know you’re not as far out as Ronnie Boyce
And I am aware that you’ve got a few quirks
But it hurts when I hear
All the songs to Maria
When we haven’t really done with J or K
Much to my dismay
When the back gets worse I turn to a girl called Joyce
Gonna lose myself in the thrall of a girl called Joyce

Slower ball…
Paris Fashion week caught me off guard
I was busy with trellising the yard

In a spring-less cart
On a sun-less day
As the laudanum shortage dawns
Two fauns
Lead me through the glade
Where the gods have dumped Diana for a girl called Joyce
And displayed on high is a banner in support of Joyce
And the brook runs crystal clear
And the brook runs crystal clear
And the brook runs crystal clear
And the wind cries Joyce



Surely some Iron's fans must remember Ronnie Boyce - Preston, 1964?

Extract from email from Amazon uk.


Dear Customer,

We wanted to give you an update on the status of your order #202-6473685-3374700.

We are sorry to report that the following items have been delayed:

Half Man Half Biscuit (Artist) "CSI: Ambleside" [Audio CD]
Estimated arrival date: 07/05/08 - 14/05/08

We are sorry for any inconvenience this causes.

Ok Munch, sounds like a plan. I'll cancel the Amazon one.

Thanks ROTF.

As I'm sure everybody knows Lord Hereford's Knob is in the Brecon Beacons National Park (The Black Mountains) in Powys in Wales. In Welsh, it is known as Twmpa.



As I camped out one evening to take the midnight air
I heard a maiden grieving from somewhere over there
Who is it you are mourning
For whom do you wear grey
She said I pine for no one, I just can’t pay my way
Ever since the chattering classes invaded Hebden Bridge
And priced the likes of me and mine
To the parts of the Pennine Ridge
To South East Wales I was forced to flee
And now I have no job
That’s why tonight I’m sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob

For you I’d waive expenses, to try and help you out
For your beauty influences the landscape hereabouts
Look up my betrothed at Three Cocks
Be sure she’ll see you right
While I go up to Yorkshire, and there avenge your plight
Soon reports were filtering through to me
The pair were drowning in bliss
I can’t recall having ever been cuckolded quite like this
I gave up hope ironically for Lent
Come see me living in a bivvie
If you’re ever up Pen-y-Ghent

Although upon reflection I’ve been a trifle green
I still think with affection on everything that’s been
So prepare that fatted calf
And string up the bunting gay
Your brisk and bonny ploughboy is coming home today
And tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
On touching the trig point, I found my thrill
To the east Brokeback Mountain, to the west, Benny Hill
I’ll give you the grid ref, you might like to go
SO224350
Could this be heaven, would that be the seraph
Twmpa, Twmpa, your’e gonna need a jumper
It gets a bit chilly on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
All of our songs sound the same
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
I’m keeping Two Chevrons Apart
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
You’re the reason why paradise lost
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob

It's arrived and been played.

Often when expectations are built up and I'm disappointed - this is not one of those occasions.

This album is fantastic, as good as anything they've done.

Well worth the wait and thoroughly recommended.

The best band in the land at their brilliant best.

If you only buy one CD this year then it should be this or else you'll never ever know quite how good contemporary music can be.

HMHB and Basia should be paying you!

quote:

Originally posted by BigH47:
HMHB and Basia should be paying you!

I'm getting a signed CSI:Ambleside - it'll be worth zillions in a few years time

I do like other artists too - I know it is not widely know on the forum, but I'm a big fan of Shirley Collins

Shirley who?

Hadn't managed to cancel my Amazon order and they now advise me it has shipped!

The Wirral rocks!! I had better check this out.........you'll be listening to Jegsy Dodd next!

Mark

Jegsy Dodd? Got all their albums on gold CD matey. Do try and keep up!