Abandoned Parrots:

quote:

Originally posted by graham55:
Bruce

I stand corrected: serves me right for trying to be clever!

Graham

One assumes that one doesn't charge, when one loses a case?*

If one 'reads' an 80 year old Daily Mail, you'll hardly see any dfifferences with the stories etc, than those of today, except maybe the price of tea, that is*

Fritz The Informer*

quote:

Originally posted by Stephen Tate:

quote:

�11Billion a year for Britain's Police Force, where on earth does it all go, one wonders, innit?*

Up there noses i expect!
I cannot have any respect for the police force in this country anymore, they are all nuts.
I used to respect the police, not anymore they have fucked it themselves.

Apparently many folk take it as a suppository these days to protect their nostrils, just think what Old Blue eyes had to fork out for the Platinum tubes up his hooter! Ooh sorry, didn't you know, Ahh Well*

Cheers John,

Fritz*

Mind you, he was self employed I suppose, and paid a fortune in taxes*

The loudest engine I've ever heard was an English Electric Lightning taking off at the Northwield Air Show.


Couldn't hear my other half speaking for days*

Almost reminiscent of old Purple gigs (or jigs as Blair would say) at Ammersmiff*

How Dare that jumped up little bum-fluff Boy Cameron, accuse British Coppers of being underperforming and low grade. Who the hell does he think he is? doesn't he know that many of them are so badly paid, they can't even afford three holidays a year, a measily second motor (with tracker) and a hut near the sea, in fact many have to work black, on the side just to make ends meet, and never even have time to better themselves by studying for promotion, innit*

God! If Tory policy carries on in this direction, they'll never get re-elected, the Public 'Will Never' fall for this scandalous Murdoch propaganda, willit?*


Oh Yes it Will, won't it Our Mick*

Check out the new CSI Bike-Theft Squads near You*

Of course Dedicated Spurs were different in them days, Yours truly at top, innit**

Possibly the finest Ruby he's ever eaten?*


Probably over done the Old sweet & Sour Prawn Balls innit, Get that Groovy Wapour Trail though, Awesome*


You know me!**

A Scouser parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off. More than a little distraught, the Scouser grabs his mobile and calls the police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically:

"My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!"
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust. "I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Scousers are," he says. "You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything
else in your life."

"How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" sobs the Porsche owner. The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you."

The Scouser looks down in horror .

"F***ING HELL !" he screams........ "Where's my Rolex ????..."

*** (3 Smileys)

Would you let him teach your kids?

Cos that's what he does Peeps, innit*

quote:

Originally posted by Rockingdoc:
I use my bike for a ten mile each way commute to work, with about two miles pottering about on visits in the middle of the day.
I wear proper cycling SPD shoes for the commute, but need normalish looking shoes that will take cleats for during the day.
I have been using a pair of Cannondale skateboard style trainers for the past few years, fine, but they are worn out. I've been searching, but can't find anything similar now.
They don't have to be smart, just subdued colour, low-cut, largish toe-box (not pointy, not boots).
Any ideas gratefully received.

What size are you John?

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Here's one for Our Fredders when he's sobered up from his binge!*

"It was while removing a particularly adhesive smear of Camembert from two fluttering birds on a willow-pattern plate that I first understood Beethoven's Grosse Fuge."

Roger Scruton, The Times
[...].

Cheers,

Fritz*

N.B. Talking to a couple of Gay friends the other night who'd recently seen Brokeback-Mountain, they said it was a wonderful film (them both being serious film buffs) and that it was hopefully gonna win an Oscar! but in their view could in no way be considered a Gay Movie. Berlin as you may know has a very large Gay scene & elected Mayor, and the film everybody's just dying to see is the new lifestory of Our Favourite London Bubble, Georgie Michael himself, Great Voice, but what do I know?*

DearFritz and any other Friends [can I please call you a friend Fritz?], who may watch what I post,

I am cured [almost!], and the consultant has put me off the books! No finer annoyncement is possible and that is a huge relief! In fact a relapse 'can' occur, but it is stress related, so I am seriously going to 'chill' from now on. Never mind the protestant work ethic and all that [shyte].

Christ, nothing could please me more, and only getting some work walking distance from my home world ice the cake. Brahms said of himself, Free but Happy, - well I'll do with poor but free, and in all honesty, blissfully happy!

As for you blilliantly obscure quotte on the Great Fugue, I am blasted if I get it, but I adore the music, much to the annoyance of poor friends who have the task of listening to the brute thing till I am prepared to let them choose! It is incomprehensible as music in some way, but still deeply uplifting if you just listen and forget the crap about 'learn'ed music!' Sorry, but I have had a a pint or three, but I get well and truely annoyed by people who forget what music is about - and that is uplift of the emotions. All else is posing, either by the composer or the performer, and posing is a waste of life, of which we should be grateful enough! Heck, I am in a good mood!

As for Brokeback Mountain, I heard about it on Front Row [Radio Four at 19:15 hours], and was immediately intrigued, for it is surely true that to be gay is not [usually] a lifestyle choice, but a question of Nature [genes], and Nuture [conditioning]. Whethter the individual actually indulges his or her sexuality is not a so much a question of choice as fate AND choice. To be celebate is not an idle option from whatever angle you approach it, and the wisdom achieved in the pause can only make the final position the more honest and valid. What has always vexed me is the the hypocrasy of pretending [rather than abstaining], so that if these guys actually broke up famillies, that stikes me as no less awful than wreckking a familly for the sake of another woman, as my brother did. Though I am an abstainer, and therefore a whimp in my brother's eyes, I have done no harm, and whatever I do in time will be just as harmless...

Just glad to be back on the road of life! All the best to you all from Fredrik

Excellent News Fredders, me old Wild Man, I know how tiresome it is waiting for life-changing results myself too. 14 months ago after having an op to remove a tumour from my neck, I had the pleasure (though much shorter than most folk) of waiting to see if it was Cancerous or not, and as you yourself know! that little waiting game is the real cruncher, ain't it!

Ah well! Talking of crunching, if I were you I'd get in a 6 pack, buy some nice fresh bread, and Irish butter, a round of decent Camembert, and some thick Meux mustard (if desired), find a decent patterned plate, put on yer Fuge, and check out what the hell that dosh-head from the Times was bullshitting² about, innit*

Cheers,

Fritz* (on lemon Tea, Ugh)

N.B. Chancellor Merkel has banned all SPD shoes from her office, Coalition, or not*

You know me*

For every silver-lining there is shyte! [Small shyte, but still shyte}. I have been asked to be ready to show J Sainsbury's representitive round at 03:00 hours GMT, so I shall soon be off to bed. What a responsibility at that time of day. No doubt they be as shattered as me! Good luck to them, though I had better avoid any possibility of off colour or non-PC humour!

Goodnitol, Fredrik

Quite right Fredders, yer can do it ammorra instead Son*

Regards,

Fritz*

Don't forget decent Paddy butter, that Danish stuff is Crap*

quote:

Originally posted by Happy Chick:
Couriers are shite. We use Royal Mail Special Delivery and have no problems. Parcels delivered before 1 next day. They even suply you with the silver bags. +++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++ They then will say you can keep the rate for another 6 months.

Veronika

Excellent to read some straight talking common sense on this forum for once, Ronners Old Chap*

Regards,


Fritz*


'Every bag's gotta Silver Linin*'

I ain't Sayin Nuffin*

I've totally given up gambling now! Honnist!!! and Newcastle's not all that bad either, considerin where it is ana'll; issit*

Who is the lady?

quote:

Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Who is the lady?

Michelle Owen, Luigo Old Chum, she plays in goal for Portsmouth*

Nice.

quote:
Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Nice.


She's quite amazing with her hands, virtually a New Peter Bonnetti*

Her diving is legendary already too, like the Cat himself almost, Sven wanted to give her a trial, but Our Arry sent him well Sur'in on his La' Bicyclet *

There's no Frattonising allowed with Our Arry about, Our Luigi! he's alway's well on the Old mark, and I'm sure you'll understand this post much better after a pint of wine or two, too, innit*

Cheers,

Fritz*

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
...

Just glad to be back on the road of life! All the best to you all from Fredrik

Glad to hear it, Fredrik.

That's amazing What Luck! Why didn't I think of it before I wonder? Tarquers Old Son! You could now advise Fredders on a new financial plan for his future, just think of the benefits that he could enjoy from your qualified consultation, and wide-ranged experience in the money market!*

Cheers,

Fritz*

Never mind the Bass Rates*

Still on the subject of fish, Aric Old Bean! don't know how old you are? but I've been hearing similar stories like that (with various creatures-including fish) for many years now, as I'm sure lots of the older clan here have too. Country folk tend to be more succeptable for some reason, and personally I see it as abuse towards the animal. If I recall one guy/woman/etc, not so very long ago were actually jailed for gross indecency with wild dolphins (that was UK I think too?), and not so keenly echoed around the courts by Fox & Sky News strangely enough, I wonder Why? Though I do remember clearly them homing on a dog eating a corpse, straight after the Tsunami, don't seem to repeat that either for some inane reason, innit mate*

quote:

Originally posted by Aric:
Fritz,

Did you hear about the sexual escapades of two men and a horse in Washington (state) a couple of months ago?

FritzVonitgivesanewmeaningtointernalbleeding, innit*

Cheers, anyway John,

Fritz*

Think I'll hit Munich tonight, it's warmer*

About two or three issues back, in Private Eye Magazine, I recall reading an article about the horrible stabbing murder of a young girl named Sally-Anne Bowden in England not so long ago. The point of the story was how certain British so-called 'newspapers' had really gone over the top on this one, showing at every given opportunity yet another (almost page 3-esque) shot of the pretty deceased model to be. I didn't really think much more of it, except in respect of hoping that the cops came up with something, naturally.

Then today! Low & Behold, we have a SKY News interview with the mind-blowingly insincere Burlesque-Kay, asking this girl's sisters how they were now feeling, etc, etc, and mentioning at every given moment how pretty she had been etc, etc. To my mind, it was one of the most pathetic pieces of low-life 'Journo' emotional use & abuse that I've seen for ages, and I feel we'll be hearing more about their tactics, What do these people have between their ears, I ask myself in all honestly?*


Goodnight,

Fritz*

15-Love, new balls please*

quote:

Originally posted by Max Y:
Hi
Most of the solar powered garden lights I have seen have been pretty dismal but I understand that there are some good ones out there even though they may be pricey. Does anyone know of a good make? I am looking for a bright light with up to 8 hours duration as I want it as an anchor light on my boat.

Thanks

Max

Why do you wish to illuminate your visage John?

Love cheat rumbled by kiss-n-tell parrot


WHEN Chris Taylor's African grey parrot Ziggy repeatedly mentioned the name Gary, his suspicions were aroused. He didn't know a Gary. And, when the bird made kissing noises every time he heard the name Gary on TV, Chris wondered if Ziggy was trying to tell him something.
The penny dropped when, one romantic evening as Mr Taylor cuddled his girlfriend Suzy Collins on the sofa, Ziggy blurted out: "I love you, Gary." What gave the game away was the fact that Ziggy spoke the fatal phrase in Ms Collins's voice. Suzy dissolved in tears and was forced to admit to a month-long fling with work colleague Gary. Feathers flew, the relationship was over, and Ms Collins (25), a call-centre worker, was sent packing that very night from the house in Headingley, Leeds, northern England.

That was sad enough, but what is even more heartbreaking is that Mr Taylor has had to part with Ziggy. Hearing the bird constantly squawking the hated name of Gary in the voice of an ex-girlfriend was just too much.


NOT SUCH A PRETTY BOY:

Irish Independent (Jan 2006)*