New Plans

H'm. I don't have the facilities to make it here so I'll design it and get someone else to make it. I've had a look at the competition. Looks like I'll have to have lots of bits to make it look erudite and engineered. I think I'll use a basic tripod design; after all Base do. And I'll do what JV did with Base and replace rubber feet with ball bearings.

Now Its taking shape. I think I'll have a support platform. I'll call it a Sound Base. Must have lots of spikes but not in places which may offend the patent office. I've also been warned against angle iron. My support must be flat pack, self-assembly (IKEA didn't get rich for nothing you know) and just complicated enough to set up that it seems audiophile. It may not need tuning but it must be tweakable. It will sound best if you leave the bottom two shelves empty (that'll keep the Porche brigade nicely fleeced). I'll have glass shelves or wooden shelves, keep my options open. Perhaps I'll design the ultimate, ultimate spirit level to go with it (later if there's money in it). I don't want any allen keys but tommy bars (everything has allen keys these days) and I may as well throw in a spanner.

My support platform will have a big statement foot print and a variety of tasteful and tasteless finishes to suit all penchants. It will have an optional knitted pink cosey cover. I'd better include a few warnings in the literature - you know the usual rubbish: "do not hit support with hammer", "do not sit on it", "or allow Vuk to go anywhere near it".

Then I'm going to make sure its a giffen good - the more expensive it is the better people will think it is. Infact, I'm going to make it the most damn expensive support in the known universe - I want the rich to buy them and the poor to covert them. Then, just like Hollywood Blockbusters I'm going to release it in America long before its available over here.

And then I'm going to hope the thing sounds half decent.

Does anyone know what I should call it?