Well it made me laugh
Posted by: MichaelC on 21 April 2005
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...
”Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget".
"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down is his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man, you waas right, ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
"Ees...(gasp)"
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"Ees, a Ham Bush"
”Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget".
"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down is his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man, you waas right, ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
"Ees...(gasp)"
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"Ees, a Ham Bush"
Michael,
For a gag like that ,you should be made to go and look for the Bacon tree
oldie.
For a gag like that ,you should be made to go and look for the Bacon tree
oldie.
I heard Sir Francis liked a decent rasher for his brekkies, innit 
Fritz Von Well done sizzly & crispy
Fritz Von Well done sizzly & crispy
A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle
lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican
is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one
wish,anything you want." The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really
like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink
tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."The Genie grants him
his wish. When the Mexican gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard
and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila.
Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So, he takes a sip and
it is the best tequila he has ever tasted. The Mexican yells to his wife,
"Consuela, Consuela, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and
the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells
her to drink it. It is tequila. Consuela is reluctant but goes ahead and
takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank
and partied all night. The next night the Mexican comes home from work
and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds
to fill the two glasses. The result is the same, the tequila is excellent
and the couple drinks until the sun comes up. Finally Friday night comes
and the Mexican comes home and tells his wife, "Consuela grab one glass
from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila." His wife gets the glass from
the cupboard and sets it on the table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass
and when he fills it, his wife asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only
one glass?" Pancho raised the glass and says, "Because tonight, mi amor, you
drink from the bottle!!"
Arriba !!!
Innit, Probably goes well with M N X ?
lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican
is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one
wish,anything you want." The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really
like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink
tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."The Genie grants him
his wish. When the Mexican gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard
and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila.
Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So, he takes a sip and
it is the best tequila he has ever tasted. The Mexican yells to his wife,
"Consuela, Consuela, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and
the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells
her to drink it. It is tequila. Consuela is reluctant but goes ahead and
takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank
and partied all night. The next night the Mexican comes home from work
and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds
to fill the two glasses. The result is the same, the tequila is excellent
and the couple drinks until the sun comes up. Finally Friday night comes
and the Mexican comes home and tells his wife, "Consuela grab one glass
from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila." His wife gets the glass from
the cupboard and sets it on the table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass
and when he fills it, his wife asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only
one glass?" Pancho raised the glass and says, "Because tonight, mi amor, you
drink from the bottle!!"
Arriba !!!
Innit, Probably goes well with M N X ?