2007 Already! Who Would've Adam & Eve'd it eh Chaps?

Mr Parry! Thatcher sold arms to Hussein, Get it Right Sir!


Regards,


Fritz Von And don't forget to give the waiter a bloody good tip either*

Fritz

Mrs Thatcher sanctioned the sale of arms to Saddam. If we did not sell them, someone else would have.

Also I rarely tip, the buggers are paid to do a job and why should I pay them to do what they have already been paid to do.

Regards

Mick

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Fritz

Mrs Thatcher sanctioned the sale of arms to Saddam. If we did not sell them, someone else would have.

Q: How do you beat Mick parry?
A: With a stick!

If I beat you with a stick do you think the police would let me off if I said 'If I didnt do it someone else would have'? Is it a justifiable excuse?

quote:

Also I rarely tip, the buggers are paid to do a job and why should I pay them to do what they have already been paid to do.

Why tip? The reason is because many are on less than the legal mininum wage and the rest are on the minimum wage and the 'buggers' have to put up with your arrogance and poor table manners.

Lets have some more of your barmy thinking before you exercise your stated new year resolution of not contributing to internet fora.

The Sixth child of a poor Austrian Customs Officials wife (5 previous kids all died months old) later attempted to destroy all Jews, Gays, Gypsies, Mentally & Physically handicapped people, Scousers, Political opponents, religious opposition, etc, (a lot of survivors of who'm I've personally had the honour of meeting) within his power as an Austrian in the name of Germany, ie, a foreigner. I suppose though if he hadn't done it, somebody else would have?


Fritz Von Ostrich's are humans really, they just have different feathers, innit!


P.S. As a teenager in London I had a mate called Leonard who was like my brother in law a second/third generation Carribean Cockney Bastard, and his elder Brother Merlin (a great sight to behold, long afore the likes of Doggy Poohey BBB etc, with their Rap Shite, came into play) used to drive us all around the finer parts of Essex on a Sunday moaning to country pubs ( we all wore collar & tie, with shoes more shiny than Our Micks rhubarb under the tap) in a bright yellow Rolls Royce (ex undertakers wagon, so it was well long, and had speakers in the back you'd die for), we even went a few times to the old Met Police country Club in Chigwell where I used to play rugger & er, cricket believe it or not, Yes those were the days Chaps, it's all different now of course*


And we tipped the barman*

Fritz

The arms industry is a major exporter for the UK and if we picked and choosed to whom we sold, we would also loose sales from countries who are friends of the ones we refuse to sell to. Therefore HMG will usually sanction sales.

Also I could not care what wage the waiting staff are on, it has got nothing to do with me. Also I am a very nice customer but I rarely tip.

I will hang around here just to keep you aware that you are pissing off my beloved postal workers, to whom, you are the enemy with your constant sniping. They work hard to deliver mail to ungrateful people like you and all you do is slag them off.

Making the enemy of nearly half a million workers is not sensible. They do read the forums and they do make note of those who slag them off.

I hope your electricity bill is not being sent in the post or you might end up being cut off if you know what I mean. I really do hope your flat is not heated by electricity.

Happy new year.

Mick

Illegal British Miltary Exports (eg, Combat helicopters etc,) have been leaving the UK via the Channel Islands (in pieces) for decades.


Regards,



Fritz Von I'm not concerned what waiters in your restaurant earn either John, in fact I can't remember the last time I ate in a restaurant, but I do know that when I did, which was very very often, I behaved myself impecably as did my partner, unlike most yobs in Britain today pretending to be Civilised after some nights cheap 24 hour boozin cos they've got a few bob left on their credit cards to abuse the Staff with*



Brrp* Beans on home made toast with LA Chile sauce methinks & water with a dash of fresh lemon (Tap water here is bloody excellent as it was in London when I was a Nipperoonie).



The Chief'll probably be out in a restaurant tonight with his posh friends too, now there's a man who knows how to behave in public!

P.S. I have no heating (havent had for 7 years now) my new central heating which was supposed to have been installed last summer will now arrive next year apparently! The new owner of this house (Old girl died last year aged 102) will visit me soon for the very first time (he's a nephew) and will basically tell me that he's gonna spend lots of dosh to improve his income, which subsequently will move me out, which naturally is his well earned legal right, where I go from here is yet to be seen, but I can only say that if I had been paying a mortgage I'm sure my situation wouldn't be so very much more betterer, and I'll still maintain the freedom of cheap/affordable rented accommodation over a lifetimes debt around ones neck*



I trust that Our Fredders refers to shared renting too in his new enterprise and not investment, otherwise I feel he's making a very big mistake and he'll lose money big time, and his 'signature' much more importantly to-boot, innit*

A kind of sleeping sickness I suppose?


N.B. I apologise unreservedly & wholeheartedly to all of those out there that find this old tosh totally boring and irellevant, though naturally wish them well in the future and hope that they have something far more better and interesting to do with their Oh So little insignificant lives, innit Our Deano*

Great Stuff Steve Scaars Gerard MBE
and Ricky the hat Hatton MBE



Fritz Von Arise Sir Sting*

P.S. My ex Guvnor was an MBE too, though he reckons he got it for being a Freemason so it didn't really count? (His words not mine)

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and
said "I want to be a movie star."

Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had all the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he left the agent's office.


FIVE YEARS LATER.....

The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.

Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...........

"Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood. You told me I needed to change my name, but determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian.

After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent.

I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

A man and a woman are seated next to each other in First Class on a plane.

The woman sneezes, and then takes a tissue and gently wipes up under her skirt between her legs.

The man isn't sure he actually saw what he saw and decides he is hallucinating.

A few minutes pass.

The woman sneezes again, takes a tissue, and gently wipes between her legs.

The man is about to go nuts, he can't believe what he is seeing.

A few more minutes pass. When the woman sneezes yet again.

She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.

The man has finally had all he can handle.

He turns to the woman and says "Three times you have sneezed, and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped it between your legs..

What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?"

The woman replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir.

I have a rare medical condition, such that when I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, now feeling bad, says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?"

The woman looks at him and says "Black Pepper".

Fritz

Bread and spam again tonight is it ?

Regards

Mick

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Brrp* Beans on home made toast with LA Chile sauce methinks & water with a dash of fresh lemon (Tap water here is bloody excellent as it was in London when I was a Nipperoonie).

Then a brisk walk to personally post some letters (save on stamps) containing reciepts from this year which will be reinbursed to my account at some point in the future due to my fiscal situation.


Regards,



Fritz Von Surviving in a world that you'd last 5 seconds in Our Mick and proud of it*

So what are Our Micks views on Mr Browns plans to abolish the DTI then I wonder?



P.S. Spiced ham, Spam, is about the only bloody good thing the Yanks did bring to Britain*

But then, would you survive 5 seconds in mine.

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
But then, would you survive 5 seconds in mine.

You would be working for me Son, believe me, and you would idolise everything I stood for, you'd actually love me more than you do now.*


Regards,



Fritz Von I've never said I don't like money or the nice things it brings*

Does your lack of a question mark signify uncertainty I wonder?


N.B. Just imagine! Mrs Mick would along with you own snapbox of dripping and marmite doorsteps, put in a few fine Wiltshire Pork Pies and a rhubarb surprise or two for that nice Mr Fritz at the Office*

Probably the finest Pussy you lot'll ever see on this forum, and that's a fact!

All Cards Welcome?

I hope some of the whisky drinkers on here will tell us all about their experiences ordering a scotch in er, Scotchland toneet. innit!

Regards,


Fritz Von Substitute your tea for gin*

quote:

Originally posted by Dougunn:

quote:

I hate New Year parties

Well don't go to them!

I prefer to mark the beginning of the year more positively by doing something I really like!

This year I will be in bed early on NYE so I can be up at dawn and have a wander around magically empty London streets with my camera.

Or maybe I'm just weird!

Doug

Don't forget to watch 'Hard Days Night' first though John!


Regards,



Fritz Von I kissed my girl by the factory wall*


P.S. Now that Our Acad's got the miracle of the internet in tow perhaps he'd care to watch Saddams execution over brekkers?

N.B. And an extra BIG special Thank You to Mr Mick Parry of Wiltshire who's been travelling with us today on Central Trains and will hopefully continue to do so, forever and ever and ever, innit!



'Here is an Announcement', Due to the wrong kind of fog in Dundee all flights from Heathrow will be delayed till further notice:

John Reid (Home Secretary)



Did you know that North Korean Dolphins don't constantly smile?*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
[QUOTE]

P.S. Now that Our Acad's got the miracle of the internet in tow perhaps he'd care to watch Saddams execution over brekkers?

Fritz von a happy and prosperous New Year to you and yours etc,

Give Saddam an ASBO and some community service says I - I dont believe in capital punishment.

All the best for 2006 John

Acad von Bush is an entirely different matter though.

Surely you mean 2005 when England won the Ashes?

Regards,


Fritz Von I'm glad I like baked beans*

quote:

Fritz Von I'm glad I like baked beans*

*try adding half a beef oxo cube for "Basil's beefy beans"

quote:

Originally posted by acad tsunami:
[QUOTE]

All the best for 2006 John

Er..whats left of it

Where is Herr Flick von Parry today? It's his last day on this ere forum or so he says.

So farewell then captain Buffoon
more barking than a looney toon
orf to the gluepot to get well pissed
you might as well cos you wont be missed.

Its the end of an era

Brrrrrp

Totally clear headed on New Years Day (unthinkable) I actually hit the sack at about 10 O'clock, fireworks cracking throughout the night though.

Happy Thingy all and sundrie.

Fritz Von Must be a mid-life crisis or summfink?

One is slightly at a loss to comprehend just what's going on here to be honest Chaps?


Fritz Von If this keeps up I'll end up supporting bleedin Swindon soon (As a paying fan you understand).

Must be Pardew's fault. Wouldn't it be a turn-up if West Ham went down and Charlton survived?

Didn't something similar happen with John Lyle?

I think we should be told.

(5-0 now btw)

Steve.

Lord Archer remains to this day Lord Archer (Baron thingy of Western Super-Mare) after serving time for the very serious crime of Purgery. Could perhaps Tony Blair or indeed David Cameron or Our Mick's Chums explain to the nation why Lord Archer is still Lord Archer, but ex-Boxing World Champion Prince Thingy MBE, has now been stripped of his MBE after serving time for the serious offence of dangerous driving (Sober) and injuring a man so badly he'll be wheelchair bound for life unfortunately?



Fritz Von Some bookies at Upton Park & thereabouts must be making serious dosh too I reckon*