best man speech....

Just wang 'Best Man's Speech' into Google, and you'll plenty of this sort of stuff.

Good luck.

John.

quote:

Originally posted by KeanoKing:
one liners etc to get the ball rolling would also be good..

Perhaps not a good idea just before the honeymoon.

Trying to be funny is a good way to end up NOT being funny.

Unless you KNOW KNOW KNOW you are hilarious, I'd avoid telling jokes.

Just tell stories about the groom showing how nice he is - often they're also quite amusing.

I've seen it done properly only a couple of times. 90% of the time you wanna just shoot yourself from the embarrasment - even when you're in the audience.

A mate of mine recently got married and years ago before this girl he managed to get on stage with 2 dirty strippers and "nail" them both infront of the whole crowd. It helped that this lad is quite well endowed and the strippers called him banana man. During his best mans speech, the best man started off by saying "paul was born at 29 Acasia road". It was an in joke only the lads new about but it brought the house down. (banana man was a cartoon hero who lived at the above address)

I face a real challenge in May, when I woman I know exceptionally well (and who I adore) is getting married.

She wants me to make a kind of "best man's speech" for her! Goodness knows what I am to say, but I think this is even more of a minefield than a best man's speech!

Gulp!

Any ideas?

K

quote:

Originally posted by Kevin-W:
I face a real challenge in May, when I woman I know exceptionally well (and who I adore) is getting married.

...

Any ideas?

K

Elope with said woman?

Elope with said woman?


Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind. Not only is she absolutely gorgeous, but she's also a lovely, lovely person.

at a wedding i was just at, one of the things said was, little did Jane's mum and dad know 22 year's ago when they were putting her to bed with a dummy, that 22 year's latter it would be happening again,

Twelve years ago, my Dad's best mate's son was getting married. The groom's name was Matt, the bride's was Trac (Tracey). I had a feeling that the best man's speech was going to go pear shaped, as he was sozzed even before the church.

By the time he came to make his speech, he was utterly wrecked.

Now - and this is the good bit, so bear with me - the bride's parents were both profoundly deaf, and required a woman to translate everything into sign language. So there she was, standing at the sidelines, but in sight of Trac's parents, signning all the speeches.


Towards the end of his speech, our boozy best man started talking about the time when Matt first introduced Trac to his mates.

Best man said (and this is an exact quote): "When Matt first introduced us to Trac, I thought, 'Fuck, he's pulled a right dog here, she's got a beard!'. But then I realised she was bending down with no knickers on!"


This produced the expected reaction from those who could hear, but what was really priceless was the look on the face of the poor woman doing signage: she must have been thinking :"How the hell do I sign this?" and "Do I even bother?".

To this day, I've no idea whether she translated the speech word for word or whether she tried to draw a veil over the speech.

Hugely embarrassing for everyone. They're (Matt and Trac) divorced now BTW.
K

quote:

Any ideas?

Yeah don't say this:

quote:

'Fuck, he's pulled a right dog here, she's got a beard!'. But then I realised she was bending down with no knickers on!"

I've listened to many a Bill Cosby record when I was young and it struck me how funny he was, but he never told jokes, only used his experiences from his life.

I think this is the key to being funny - realising that the humour of the situation begins when you are born.

quote:

Originally posted by Kevin-W:

Not only is she absolutely gorgeous, but she's also a lovely, lovely person.

Sounds like a trap! Be very, very careful...