Killer Couplets
Posted by: Bruce Woodhouse on 09 October 2001
"How can you lie there and think of England
When you don't even know who's in the team?"
(from 'Greetings to the New Brunette')
and
"Heavens above,
can this sticky stuff really be love?"
(from 'Moving The Goalposts')
anyone care to suggest the lines from songs which always make them laugh?
Bruce
Dozy
'Would you like to marry me, and if you like you can buy the ring'"
Genius
And do you have a vacancy for a backscrubber?"
- Half A Person .
Always gives me a laugh when I hear it .
is make my wildest dreams come true"
wonderful - and not toooooooo much to want.
Colin Lorenson
"Now I guess I'll have to tell 'em
I ain't got no cerebellum"
Pete.
'The sun aint yellow-It's chicken!
Sheer Fergal genius!
on your mammary glands"
from 'you handsome devil' is a cracker
also kate bush's:
"Beelzebub is aching in my belly-o.
My feet are heavy and I'm rooted in my wellios"
is always good for a chuckle.
cheers
matt
quote:
Originally posted by von zipper:
'He thinks that I'm a cabbage,cos I hate university Challenge'
or indeed, "He always beat me at Subbuteo/'cause he flicked to kick, but I didn't know" or "His Ma bought him a synthesizer/got the Human League in to advise him".
What a great song, must pull out the relevant black circle sometime this evening...
Pete.
"I've had relations
With girls of many nations "
Or , non rhyming couplet -
" I am the milkman of human kindness
I wil leave an extra pint"
p.s. If you are on this forum , turn Peely on NOW!!!!
"Includes 4 hits, 5 smashes and 2 soon-to-be classics"
My Ma says they cost a packet!
John
I'm so superstitious,
So there's something you should know,
The reason I'm doing you is,
'Cause your friend said 'no'.
Always makes me laugh.
Also John Cooper Clarke's (the Bard of Salford) haiku:
Writing a poem
In seventeen syllables
Is very diffic
In fact the great JCC has much humor in his work. He is a bit fringe for most people though.
-John
Was it some kind of bat
They can't find a good word for you
But I can ...
JCC
Brilliant! get his anthology "10 years in an open neck shirt"
Saw him supporting New Order in 1980 (in NZ). One of the best concerts I've been to.
Simon
She asked me if I liked it, I said she was cuter
Was (not Was)
pete MB&D
"In the end it took me a dictionary
To find out the meaning of unrequited.
And all the time she was giving herself for free
At a party to which I was never invited"
Other favourite lyrics in a vaguely rhyming couplet style:
"Tedious people, tiresome town
Under the gaze of a mayoral frown
All is quiet with a gentle breeze
Tarkus on black vinyl please"
"When I had my loft
Converted back into a loft
The neighbours came around and scoffed
And called me retro"
"She's the main man in the office in the city
And she treats me like I'm just another lackey
But I can put a tennis racket up against my face
And pretend that I am Kendo Nagasaki"
Matthew
he makes love like a footballer,
he dribbles before he shoots
I've seen how democracy is under duress,
But I've never seen a nipple in the daily express
I wanna be your setting lotion,
hold your hair in deep devotion
Check out http://www.cyberspike.com/clarke/
A bald adolescent asked me out for a fight
E' was no bigger than a two penny fart
E' was a deft exponent of the martial arts
E' gave me three warnings
Trod on me toes
Stuck his fingers in me eyes and kicked me in the nose
A rabbit punch made me eyes explode
Me 'ead went dead, I fell in the road.
I pleaded for mercy. I wriggled on the ground
He kicked me in the balls and said something profound
Sold me chop suey and left me for dead.
Through rivers of blood and splintered bone
I crawled half a mile to the public telephone
Pulled the corpse out the call box
Held back the bile And with a broken index finger I proceeded to dial.
Couldn't get an Ambulance, the 'phone was screwed
The receiver fell in half, it had been kung fued
A black belt karate cop opened up the door
Demanding information about the stiff on the floor
He looked like an extra from 'yang shan po'
He said "What's all this then, ah so ah so ah so"
He wore a bamboo mask, he were genned on zen
He finished his devotions, then he beat me up again.
Thanks to that embryonic Bruce Lee
I'm a shadow of the person that I used to be
Can't go back to Salford, the cops have got me marked
Enter the dragon, exit Johnny Clarke.
"He's heard your Naim"
Check your pulse, hope all is well
Reverse spin on the carousel.
AND
Slowly took your best, as you tried to stay afloat
Swallow what you can and the rest you sugarcoat.
Check it out on the new album 'Summershine'
Vigilantes of love are from Athens Georgia and have that early 'fire' of REM. Superb.
Adagio for strings
AND
It's a disneyworld trailer park
From here to kingdom come
When every moment is a red light
A red light, you just run.
"Between Marx and Marzipan,
in the dictionary,
there is Mary.
Between the deep blue sea,
and the Devil,
there is me."
BB
'I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero,
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come and go'
'And all that facial hair',
'And yucky machismo.'
LWIII
Cheers
Andy 