What's your best (new) short joke?

quote:

Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Fiuuuuuuuuu!
Adam!

You had left me sitting with my naked backside on ice!

Gianluigi,

Toooooooo much information!

Erik

quote:

Originally posted by erik scothron:

quote:

Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Fiuuuuuuuuu!
Adam!

You had left me sitting with my naked backside on ice!

Gianluigi,

Toooooooo much information!

Erik

Ciao Erik!
Yes, i know.
But i'm sitting home doing nothing.........so the forum become a natural place to spend time.
Now things are ok with Adam and that's good.

Today is shopping time.
I'm going up and down the net to look for some CDs.
Lately i've become much interested in Norvegian music.
The fact is that i don't know why!

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time.

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country...we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives"

Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."

U ar leit Bino!
Olredi posted in 2003 bai Emeritus!


Anyway a good joke!

Ciao

A man walks into a pub with an Octopus.

He sits the Octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the pub that this is a very talented Octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world.

Everyone in the pub laughs at the man, calling him an idiot.

So he says that he will wager £50 to anyone who has an instrument that the Octopus can't play.

An Englishman walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the Octopus.
Immediately the Octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Jimmy Hendrix.

The Englishman pays up the £50.

A Welshman walks up with a trumpet. This time the Octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis.

The Welshman coughs up the £50.

Then a Scotsman plunks some bagpipes on the table. The Octopus fumbles with the bagpipes for a minute and then backs off with a confused look. "Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye nae plae it?"

The Octopus looks up at him and says: "Play it?

I'm going to shag it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

quote:

Originally posted by Beano:
A man walks into a pub with an Octopus.


I'm going to shag it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

Is this is a true story?

Yes but you would not want to get one of those suckers in the wrong place. They don't let go in a hurry, so you might find yourself somewhat sapped by the experience! Fredrik

Hey!
Erik and Fredrik!
Still alive after the "Fritz contest"!

Good.
What's up tonight?

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
Yes but you would not want to get one of those suckers in the wrong place. They don't let go in a hurry, so you might find yourself somewhat sapped by the experience! Fredrik

Hmm reminds me of a Russian girl I used to know

quote:

Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Hey!
Erik and Fredrik!
Still alive after the "Fritz contest"!

Good.
What's up tonight?

Ciao Gianluigi, buona sera. The Fritz contest is no contest. I'm sure HRH Fritz enjoys the banter as much as I do, otherwise he would be one of those sad puppies who can dish it out but can't take it, surely he is not like that? I'm listening to Faure's Requiem and eating spaghetti. How about you?

Erik

quote:

Originally posted by erik scothron:
I'm listening to Faure's Requiem and eating spaghetti. How about you?
Erik

Nice!
Did have my "saturday mum's dinner".
Dad and me did finish the red bottle and have some cartoons on tv just to relax.
My friend did not come back from UK so i'm stayin' home.
Sky is dark, snow on sight then.
A normal saturday night.
I could go out for a beer or two, but bars here around are so depressing.
I prefer the warmth of music in the close of my den.

Adam!
A pic for the comeback!

What the hell are you doin'!

Dear Gianluigi!

I think that picture is lovely. Yes! I suppose I survived, but I hardly think I'll be having any nice little funny jokes with him again.

All the very best to you from Fredrik.

Waiting for you to post some records' list.......
I'll have something good to read and to search for.
Long live music, Fredrik!

:
Dad and me did finish the red bottle and have some cartoons on tv just to relax.
[/QUOTE]

G,

Did you see 'Wallace and Gromit and the curse of the were rabbit'? It's the only film I have seen that received not just claps at the end by a few in the audience but many people standing and clapping!

E

Found this.
I don't know, but beards section made me fall from sofa.
http://www.maskworld.com/english/products/beards/--/full-beards--410

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Found this.
I don't know, but beards section made me fall from sofa.

G,

What is that medication you are taking? I want some!

quote:

Originally posted by erik scothron:
Did you see 'Wallace and Gromit and the cure of the were rabbit'? It's the only film I have seen that received not just claps at teh end by a few in the audience but many people standing and clappiing!

No Erik.
I take a look in the net.
Usually on second national channel at about 20.00 they send old stuf by Warner and Bros like "Bip-Bip" or Bugs Bunny.
Mum thinks they're stupid, but me and my father just sneer to death!

Few days ago i gifted him a DVD player and put "Ice Age" in the box.
I'm sure he's watchin' it for the 4th ot 5th time!

quote:

Originally posted by erik scothron:
What is that medication you are taking? I want some!

hahahahhahaha
Erik!
I hope you'll never need it!

That stuff is diabolic and tend to relax nerves when the only thing i'd need is a good, sane "barracks bluster".
My boys did love it, because in the end everything was clear and nobody were punished.
Just only to set things clear, you know..........
Good old times.

Here we go with "Hairy Potter"!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Gianluigi Mazzorana:
Here we go with "Hairy Potter"!


or 'Berlin Fritz finally leaves his bunker to go to a reunion of staff at Paddington train station'.

......looking for the magic hair lotion!

"If you woke up in the forest with your pants around your ankles and all the skin off your knees would you tell anyone?"

"No, of course not."

"Great, wanna go camping next weekend?"

No.
I'm going camping in Sweden.
I've send the same question to a woman up there and she gave me the same answer.

A must have!