Your 3 rules for life

10 Life's a bitch and then you die
20 Don't bother smiling, it never happens the way you want it to
30 GOTO 10

1) To avoid hostility and tension in the workplace, never make sensible suggestions to management.

2) Avoid lawsuits.

3) Do not wear shirts with button down collars.

1 Treat all others with respect and compassion

2 They in turn will treat you the same

3 If Not get G W Bush in on the act with Kim Jong Ill

regards David

Use it or lose it

No pain no gain

Ageing may have its downsides, but it is a lot better than the alternative.

1) All the world's queer bar thee and me, and I'm not too sure about thee.

2) What's yours is mine, what's mine's my own.

3) In the long run, we're all dead.

1) Life's a bitch and then you marry a bitch and then you die (not true in my case, but I like the sound of it).

2) Never back odds-on favourites.

3) Don't put your Naim mug in the dishwasher, it might get chipped.

With tongue firmly in cheek, the following three rules have served me well in my working life:

1) If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with B/S.

2) If you don't understand the question, confuse the issue.

3) If (1) and (2) fail, mumble.


Alternatively:

1) Accuracy is a duty, not a virtue.

2) Two half-wits do not make one wit.

3) Never play golf for money with someone you meet on the 1st tee and who has a deep tan, squinty eyes and a 1-iron in his bag.

1 - Don't dwell on the past or live with regrets, you can't do a thing to change it.

2 - Smile at least once every day, it might never happen.

3 - Tell the woman you love that you do (love her) at least once a day, you might not always have the chance....

Never play cards with a man named "Doc".

Never eat at a place called "Mom's".

Never sleep with a woman who has more problems than you have.

1) Do you unto others before they do unto you.

2) Never pay retail.

3) Remember the pen is mightier than the sword...just don't try and behead anyone with it.

1: Never assume someone else fully understands what you're saying unless you carefully spell it out;
2: It's better to want what you have than to have what you want;
3: There's always still time...

1)Tax the rich.

2)Feed the poor

3)Till there ain't no, rich no more.

Just kidding, conservatives.

Sort of.


BB

1)Believe only half of what you see and nothing of what you hear .

2)If it's bigger than you, don't hit it.

3) Don't put anything in your vagina that you wouldn't put in your mouth.

......Alright, alright I was struggling for a third one!

Mark

1/ Mens regnum bona possidet

2/ Nill illigitimi carborundum

3/ Nolite id cogere, cape malleum majorem

For those that don't know Latin, and It's been years since I did any of this, so here goes...

1. An honest heart is a kingdom in itself. (Seneca)
2. Don’t let the b*stards grind you down.
3. Don’t force it, get a bigger hammer.

Beano Bona Fide

A crown of laurels to Beano the Great

[1]. Be honest, even if this is painful. It is not necessary to remember what you said if you are always honest. The story never changes...

[2]. Alway treat others with respect. Either they will treat you in such a way that you grow to have mutual respect and even affection [pssibly even love], or you will end up not speeaking to each other after a time! Both are reasonably satisfactory out-comes, though naturally the first is more pleasant.

[3]. Smiling requires much less effort than scouling, and however rough things are, it does make you feel better to smile than scoul! Strangely smiling at someone who is expecting a scoul often defuses a potential situation, and disarms their feelings! Very good out-come!

Kindest regards from Fredrik

PS: Fourth rule, if it is allowed, "If you cannot say something nice, it is better to say nothing!"

Chaps

My 3 golden rules.

1. Turn problems into opportunities. This will set you above the common herd. No one likes a loser.

2. Be nice but if someone shits on you, be a total bastard and finish them. Wear them down into the ground. Get your mates to help you if necessary.

3. Be faithful to your Wife, screw around and you will regret it.

Regards

Mick

"........Always remember, others may hate you,... but they don't win, unless you hate them, and then, you destroy yourself."

Richard Nixon

BB

Be honest would you buy a second hand car of him

C'mon Mick,

He was a Tory, and one of the few "honestly dishonest" Republicans.

BB

Just answer the question

Would I buy a used car from RN. No. Nor from Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter or LB Johnson. With politicians it's the lesser of two evils.

Regards,

Big Brother

Nixon died didn't he, so that would be a "dead second hand car salesman, then? Wouldn't it?

Kindest regards from Fredrik.

PS: Not a rule for life so much as an observation for when someone tries to bamboozle you. We are all born equal, and we all meet the same fate in the end! The only thing that marks someone out as a better person than another is the way the behave during their lifetime! I find the best indicator of integrity is a respectful positon, and equally for all people, at least as a stating point. We can all be judges of that, as we must all judge and speak as we find!

Fred