Show us yer *****.

Well, they're still there, surviving. I guess a cat is more enviro friendly than us humans.

Tony

Damn, it's a cat

Evil looking moggy!

Jim

China, has caught a few mice not much else, but unlike Ziggy has no problem biting the hand that feeds her.

She is a rescue cat, rescued from tories, 'We have a stray that has had kittens in our shed', and animal welfare turn up to find an up-spayed, well fed, perfectly groomed cat with a litter - stray, no - needs rescuing, yes.

Anyway, I was the second person to try and adopt her, she cornered the first in a room, but they managed to get her in a basket and returned her the next day. I kid you not.

The second day I had her, she clawed my hand so badly, that when I took her to the vet to have her claws clipped, the vet said if my hands were not healing in a couple of days I should see a doctor as the wounds were pretty deep. The wounds healed, and China stayed, and she gradually calmed down, but I do warn guests not to try and stroke her, that is asking for trouble.

My previous cat had 'attitude', and I did ask Hounslow animal welfare if they had any similar cats, after fostering several affectionate 'wuss pusses' I got what I wanted.

She might look like butter wouldn't melt, but she will bite you as soon as anything.

That is why you should get a dog!!!!

Much friendlier.

Also do not kill off all the local wildlife for fun like most pussy cats seem to do.

regards David

There's nobody in the house all day, so we'd be the cruel ones if we kept a dog.
We live in the middle of fields with an excess of rabbits that are regularly culled by shooting. We have no mice or rats in the house, which is good. Of course, we could get rid of the Ziggy and employ poisons and traps.

Tony

We live in the countryside and lost 3 cats in nine months. We decided to keep these indoors, bit of a shame for them but they will live longer and we dont get the wildlife brought in. The last cat managed to get a red legged partridge in through the catflap !

wow - beautiful moggies! I'm no expert but they look like a special breed?

quote:

Originally posted by Nero:
wow - beautiful moggies! I'm no expert but they look like a special breed?

They look like mackrel-stripe tabbies to me.

Jono

Or Bengal?

Tony

quote:

Originally posted by Jono 13:

quote:

Originally posted by Nero:
wow - beautiful moggies! I'm no expert but they look like a special breed?

They look like mackrel-stripe tabbies to me.

Jono

I thought they were Leopards

My wifes pussy

I've now edited this post three times. But, oh-er matron, it's really hard to make any comment without double entendre that will result in you breaking my jaw.

Maybe I should have let the cat use the PC instead of me ,you will no what I mean if you have read my thread about a virus infection.....Jim

I see the keyboard, I see the cat , but where's the mouse

quote:

Originally posted by JWM:


I've now edited this post three times. But, oh-er matron, it's really hard to make any comment without double entendre that will result in you breaking my jaw.

Oh come on! Let the fur fly!!!

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING A CAT A PILL.


1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently
apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour a shot, drink. Apply cold compress to
cheek, and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the unhappy cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little sucker's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill
remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How To Give A Dog A Pill.....

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

quote:

Originally posted by John M:

quote:

Originally posted by JWM:


I've now edited this post three times. But, oh-er matron, it's really hard to make any comment without double entendre that will result in you breaking my jaw.

Oh come on! Let the fur fly!!!

Wife ... magnificent pussy ... etc ... ouch ... black eye ... ahhh ... kick in goolies ... aaarrrggghhhhhh ... castration ...

You get the picture.

quote:

Originally posted by tonym:
...Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm ...

When I was a boy we had to take our ginger tom George to the vet to have its temperature taken 'in the customary way'.

To make it an interactive experience, and perhaps inspire me to want to become a vet, I was 'invited' to hold him during the procedure ... with inevitable consequences - my hands were shredded, really deep and painful lascerations! Ow, ow, ow! The only sympathy I got from my dad was him telling me to stop blubbing and pull myself together.

Anyway, I learned my lesson and the next time I was invited to hold the cat, I politely declined and suggested my dad might like to instead. The thermometer went in and the claws came out, but this time it was my dad's hands that got shredded (arf). And guess what? We never heard the last of it, moaning and belly-aching. The funniest part, though, was him having to have a series of tetanus(?)injections in his arse.

Sadly my wife is allergic to cat fur, so we can't have one now.

James

quote:

Sadly my wife is allergic to cat fur, so we can't have one now.

Lucky you.

Professional Pussy Petting (!WARNING - ADULT CONTENT!)

quote:

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING A CAT A PILL.

There is actually a serious, working way to give cat his medicin. It got it from my ex girlfriend who is a vet:

Smear it into the cat's fur, preferably in the stomach/genital are. They just hate to get their loved fur dirty and lick it up pronto. If it's a pill one crushes it and mix it with something smeary and eatable.

JohanR

The dark cat is Maggie, the light is Mollie (still a kitten).

I too live in the country where the local's view on cats is questionable and in the last 8 years we have lost 9 cats. We have huge fields on three sides, but they just have to cross the road, and that's where the poor buggers have met their fates. We are now down to 4 cats with serious doubts about replacing them. Here's a shot of three of them doing what comes naturally. The tart is Fraser.

It is very true of cats that they have 16 hours of sleep a day, and what they get at night is a bonus..

[IMG:left] [/IMG]

quote:

Originally posted by MattP:


The dark cat is Maggie, the light is Mollie (still a kitten).

"you're my puppy now"

Jono