Top 10 people who’ve tried to make dance music but really shouldn’t
Posted by: jcs_smith on 10 July 2008
Dance music is dead easy isn’t it? All you need are loads of samples and a drum machine. Umm well no, and here’s proof.
1. La Maison Moderne - Day after day – Absolutely horrendous. Albin Julius please, step away from the drum machine
2. Sly & Robbie –Silent Assassin with KRS1 and Boogie Down Productions – This really is a shocker. They shouldn’t have been allowed within a mile of acid house. I suppose if they have actually played on 200,000 tracks than they’re allowed the odd one or two aberrations. This one’s the most blatant
3. Madonna - Don’t cry for me Argentina - Made me cringe every time it was played on the radio
4. Laibach - Sympathy for the devil - their spoon didn’t have a long enough handle
5. Pink Floyd. Can’t see the point of this - if you like the original (why?) you’re not going to want it to be given to Eric Prydz and if you like dance music you’re not going to want to listen to that old cack.
6. Eric Clapton - see 5
7. Pink Project and Afrika Bambaataa. This I don’t get. Bambaataa made some wonderful dance music. So why join an Italian prog band to make a disco record?
8. Derek Bailey. Derek Bailey does drum and bass. Personally I think any Derek Bailey record is improved immeasurable when he stops playing and the trouble is he’s all over this one.
9. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. No really. They did an album of classical speeded up and played with a drum machine. Felt physically sick when I heard it in a record shop. They must really need the money.
10. The Beach Boys meet The Fat Boys. I know what they were thinking - Money. Should buy a lot of sick bags.
1. La Maison Moderne - Day after day – Absolutely horrendous. Albin Julius please, step away from the drum machine
2. Sly & Robbie –Silent Assassin with KRS1 and Boogie Down Productions – This really is a shocker. They shouldn’t have been allowed within a mile of acid house. I suppose if they have actually played on 200,000 tracks than they’re allowed the odd one or two aberrations. This one’s the most blatant
3. Madonna - Don’t cry for me Argentina - Made me cringe every time it was played on the radio
4. Laibach - Sympathy for the devil - their spoon didn’t have a long enough handle
5. Pink Floyd. Can’t see the point of this - if you like the original (why?) you’re not going to want it to be given to Eric Prydz and if you like dance music you’re not going to want to listen to that old cack.
6. Eric Clapton - see 5
7. Pink Project and Afrika Bambaataa. This I don’t get. Bambaataa made some wonderful dance music. So why join an Italian prog band to make a disco record?
8. Derek Bailey. Derek Bailey does drum and bass. Personally I think any Derek Bailey record is improved immeasurable when he stops playing and the trouble is he’s all over this one.
9. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. No really. They did an album of classical speeded up and played with a drum machine. Felt physically sick when I heard it in a record shop. They must really need the money.
10. The Beach Boys meet The Fat Boys. I know what they were thinking - Money. Should buy a lot of sick bags.
