Barbeque Etiquette.

Posted by: Tony Lockhart on 19 May 2006

After nine long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to
BBQ season.Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of
this outdoor cooking ritual, as it's the only type of cooking a real
man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are
put into motion:


1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.


Here comes the important part:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
Then:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with
the situation.


Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
Sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.


And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing
women!



T
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by u5227470736789439
If they ever did, and I am not so sure, at leat in the last fifty years - well I ver have seen any evidense for it anyway - did such ladies exists?

I am not sure that sort of lady would particularly interest me in the first place, but I think they always seem to have a lot more sense then your post suggests!

I have cooked only about three barbeques in my life, and yes it was hard work. I did all the prepping up and the buying of ingredients. In fairness a very great deal of beer was consumed afterwards. But I would never expected someone else to bare the burden of doing all the work and then taking the credit. But even that approach never got me anyware, so my approach was wrong too.

It is s strange old world isn't it?

Fredrik
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by Bob McC
You missed the last part of the barbeque etiquette rules, established long ago by custom and practice.

After copious bottles of lager you seek out Mr Parry and insult him.
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by JonR
Bob I thought you were past all that! Big Grin
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by JoeH
quote:
I have cooked only about three barbeques in my life, and yes it was hard work. I did all the prepping up and the buying of ingredients. In fairness a very great deal of beer was consumed afterwards. But I would never expected someone else to bare the burden of doing all the work and then taking the credit. But even that approach never got me anyware, so my approach was wrong too.


See what I mean about grumpy? It's a joke thread about barbeques, FFS!

IMO barbeques are lower-class substitutes for roasting whole lambs over a slow fire, and are in any case fundamentally unsuited to this country's climate. OK in Australia or Florida maybe.
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by u5227470736789439
Dear Joe,

One of my barbeques was a hog roast and it took over twelve hours to cook before the event, and weeks of organising actually, including getting the mains altered to accomodate the very powerful open electric roaster! It was a fantastic do, but yes I do see that this was meant to be a skit now. Doh!

Perhaps, it is really impossible for me to pick up on the humour intended in this forum.

Fredrik
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by Rockingdoc
quote:
Originally posted by bob mccluckie:
You missed the last part of the barbeque etiquette rules, established long ago by custom and practice.

After copious bottles of lager you seek out Mr Parry and insult him.


Funny how there was only one grand Naim BBQ. Or is it just that I'm off the guest list?
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by JoeH
quote:
Originally posted by Rockingdoc:
Funny how there was only one grand Naim BBQ. Or is it just that I'm off the guest list?


It's been upgraded to a fifteen grand Naim barbeque.
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by Rasher
Tony. You forgot something...
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by JonR
quote:
Originally posted by Rockingdoc:
Funny how there was only one grand Naim BBQ. Or is it just that I'm off the guest list?


I think there was only ever one. I suspect Naim threw out the idea of holding any more following what happened at the last one....
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by JonR:
quote:
Originally posted by Rockingdoc:
Funny how there was only one grand Naim BBQ. Or is it just that I'm off the guest list?


I think there was only ever one. I suspect Naim threw out the idea of holding any more following what happened at the last one....


Don't tell me Fritz turned up? Eek
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by erik scothron
Tony,

Great post and I suspect very true in all details for a large percentage.

Erik
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by Derek Wright
Why what happened? - I went and thought it was a pleasant event - however I did leave about 6:30ish
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by JonR
Erik,

I suspect that Mr Fritzy has not returned to Blighty for many a year following his decampment to his current continental hideaway.

Beyond that I couldn't possibly comment...
Posted on: 19 May 2006 by erik scothron
quote:
Originally posted by JonR:
Erik,

I suspect that Mr Fritzy has not returned to Blighty for many a year following his decampment to his current continental hideaway.

Beyond that I couldn't possibly comment...


I wonder why? I will ask him.