Music for a funeral/remembrance service.

In my view there is a huge difference between a funeral, and a memorial service, which latter tends to be a celebration, where the former is a public chance to pay respects. Paying respects is crucially important for the nearest and dearest of the deceased.

So I am often at a loss to see why someone did not advice how wrong a certain favourite piece of music of the deceased would be at the funeral, if not at some memorial. I have never been a great enthusiast for the mawkish or sentimental, in the music at a funeral.

My solution would be to have a Bach piece at my funeral, which is perhaps serious on the surface but spitually uplifting in its emotional effect. For example the Toccata and Fugue in F, BWV 540:

Toccata

Fugue

I would hope that a quarter of an hour might be set aside in the middle of my funeral for this. Not on the going in or the coming out, but actually during the service, to be listened to in contemplation. It may be no surprise that this piece is more common at weddings on the going out, than at funerals, and it would be better on a good recording like that than on a poor organ, such as often found in English Parish Churches. Maybe in death I could collect some more Bach converts!

George

Two that spring to mind immediately for me are...

"Atmosphere" by Joy Division and
"Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths

a mixture of the solemn and the comical!

Steeve

P.S. Oh and then there's always "Tending the Wrong Grave for 21 Years" by HMHB!

Kim Richey's version of Randy Newman's 'Texas Girl At The Funeral Of Her Father' is what I whish they play when they put me down.

JohanR

My wife's aunt and uncle sadly died within a few months of each other a couple of years ago. At the end of her uncle's funeral her cousin chose Joe Brown's Concert for George version of "I'll see you in my dreams", which had been "their song" when they were young. I don't normally go for this sort of thing but it was one of the most emotional experiences I've ever had.

I have specifically requested that "Call Me The Breeze" by JJ Cale be played at mine, not out of facetiousness but because I love the music and the lyrics. It is track 1 side 1 (old money!) of his first album and transfixed me when I first heard it. Hopefully it will bring a smile to what might be a rather gloomy event and will remind my loved ones of me in my younger days.

I am of an age when I attend more funerals than I would like, and I have heard many different types of music played, ranging from Mozart (excerpt from Coronation Mass), Mahler (Urlicht) Dieland Jazz (When The Saints Go Marching In) to hip-hop.
If it meant something special to the deceased, it was entirely appropriate.
Ken

I have requested 'The Lark Ascending' by Vaughan Williams and Nina Simone's live version of 'Please don't let me be misunderstood'.

I can fully understand the use of Sequent 'c' from TD - as it would lend itself to aspects of that. Some of the darkest I have heard from the 'moog' is Halo from Redshift, an album I look upon as a journey towards, through & out of the otherside of bad things, at least that is how I listen to it in my mind.

At the last funeral I attended 'The host of Seraphim' from Dead Can Dance (Lisa Gerrard) realy hit the spot with many there.

Freebird,2112 and Stairway to Heaven have been requested by me, but I doubt even if anyone turns up they will sit for 40 minutes of music.

I think I'd like a Shirley Collins track from her album False True Lovers called The Unquiet Grave..

In my dreams I return as the invisible side-kick to a private detective who only he can see and hear.

People might also like to read Funeral Music (2004) and Funeral Music (2006)

For myself? Plainsong Requiem, live performance.

James

quote:

Originally posted by Steve2701:
I can fully understand the use of Sequent 'c' from TD - as it would lend itself to aspects of that. Some of the darkest I have heard from the 'moog' is Halo from Redshift, an album I look upon as a journey towards, through & out of the otherside of bad things, at least that is how I listen to it in my mind.

At the last funeral I attended 'The host of Seraphim' from Dead Can Dance (Lisa Gerrard) realy hit the spot with many there.

I have just been listening to 'The Host of the Seraphim' by Dead Can Dance, and that seems a very good choice to me, although I think a lot of their music would be very fitting, especially some of the Lisa Gerrard tracks performed on their last tour.

In contrast I find 'Halo' itself very uplifting.

Jamie

Should I stay or should I go, by The Clash, or maybe Johnny Cash's Burning ring of fire should make my lot laugh, although it may not be to everyones taste.
The Lark Ascending sounds like a nice choice.
Matt.

quote:

Originally posted by JamieL:

I have had in my mind for a long time one piece of music I would like to be played at the service after my passing, William Walton - Henry V Suite 'Touch Her Soft Lips and Part' (EMI Classics, Carl Davis, London Philharmonic Orchestra is the version I know).

Touch Her Soft Lips and Part is one of my most favorite pieces of music. The first version I heard was the exceptionally lovely recording, on As It Is (ECM), by drummer Peter Erskine, pianist John Taylor, and acoustic bassist Palle Danielsson.

Also, I often play this piece on gigs, especially at weddings and anniversaries. And some funerals. In my opinion it's perfect for all, and that's a big part of its genius ... its timelessness and universality.

All best,
Fred

im being cremated...so....on the way in.
comfortably numb - floyd.

on the way out (applies to guests only)
weve gotta get outa this place - the animals.

also have requested that im fried in a replica blown up full size baked beans tin !

should be fun...only wish i could see their faces.
scotty

As a non regilous person I would like to have my 30 - 40 minutes remembered in song.

The last playlist should include:

Love will tear us apart - Joy Division
All I need - Air
This is the day - The The
Blue Monday - New Order, only if the event is on a Monday
Transona Five (live) - Stereolab, really LOUD
Lets Make Love and Listen to Death From Above - CSS
Atmosphere - Joy Division, the opening line of "Walk in silence, Don't walk away in silence" would be a great last image.

But not too soon.

Jono

Recently went to the funeral of a youngish man (40) whose friends chose the music. Motorhead's "Overkill" was played very loudly.
I'm really not a prude, but I felt bad for his parents who certainly didn't find it amusing.
The point is, who is a funeral for? the deceased or the bereaved? Assuming it's for the bereaved, which of them should the music suit, because a wide range of ages and tastes are likely to be present.

My father was buried on an open hillside in the Highlands. He was a piper, and a suitable Pìobaireachd (pibroch) lament was played. I don't think anyone was shocked.

For me, this is like trying to pick that desert island disc to take with you. How do you really pick something from a list of thousands of choices. The following dialogue is simply my personal opinion and what I, if I get the chance to choose, would likely do. The clear thing for me though is that whatever is played at my funeral should really represent my life. Ideally, I've always thought that the program should be exclusively a music program (very few words spoken) which tells this story (only a few people would actually get it or understand). It would start with a piece of piano music that I might have practiced on the piano when I was 5 or 6 years old while my mom made supper and proceed forward at 5 or 10 year intervals to highlight key events and my tastes along the way. It would consist mainly of music that I personally played and spent long hours learning throughout my life. The music would come exclusively from the 17th century to the early 20th century but the majority would come from the 19th century. In my estimation, it is the romantics whose music most clearly reflects the questions and aspects of life and death and the struggle to find answers. Also, it would be ideal if the music heard was also performed live by people I knew. Lastly, the majority of my choices will be in a minor key (which happens to also be my favorite music while I was living, too). The following choices would actually only reflect some music that I have on my mind from the past few weeks. It would take a long time to figure out the most representative music back to my childhood.

Without giving it too much thought here are a few choices of music that I think are perfect for a funeral/memorial:

Purcell: from Dido & Aeneas - "Thy hand, Belinda, darkness shades me" (Dido)
Bach: Prelude & Fugue in c sharp minor or in e flat minor - from WTC I (esp. the e flat minor prelude)
Bach: Passacaglia & Fugue in c minor, BWV 582
Schubert: Many of the lieder are great but a melodrama he wrote seems appropriate now so I'll suggest Abschied von der Erde (Farewell to the Earth, D829).
Chopin: Complete Piano Sonata No. 2 in b flat minor
Liszt: Anything from Harmonies poetiques et religieuses
Brahms: Anything from the Piano Trios or Quartets such as the Andante con moto from the 2nd trio
Tchaikovsky: Piano Trio in A minor
Rachmaninov: 1st movement of the 2nd Piano Trio in d minor (at times you can hear the nails being driven into the coffin here)
Rachmaninov: 3rd movement from the Suite No. 1 for 2 pianos - Les larmes (Tears)
Shostakovich: 2nd Piano Trio in e minor - Largo
Orff: In trutina from Carmina Burana

Well, I have already exceeded the limit I'm sure so I'll stop here. My main goal above was to set the mood. I was aiming for things which are profound, somber, sad, reflective etc.
Doug

quote:

I was aiming for things which are profound, somber, sad, reflective etc.
Doug

I hope that when I go, my family and friends will not be too sad. I've already lived more than my "three score and ten" and I've had a pretty good life. We all have to go, so I will hope they are happy that I enjoyed being here.
Ken

quote:

Originally posted by Rockingdoc:
Recently went to the funeral of a youngish man (40) whose friends chose the music. Motorhead's "Overkill" was played very loudly.
I'm really not a prude, but I felt bad for his parents who certainly didn't find it amusing.
The point is, who is a funeral for? the deceased or the bereaved? Assuming it's for the bereaved, which of them should the music suit, because a wide range of ages and tastes are likely to be present.

My father was buried on an open hillside in the Highlands. He was a piper, and a suitable Pìobaireachd (pibroch) lament was played. I don't think anyone was shocked.

As someone who spends a lot of professional time at funerals, I couldn't agree with you more about the pertinance or otherwise of music, particularly at a crem. I feel similairly about those family tributes that tells you more about the person giving the tribute than the person who has died.

Hopefully I will have a long time to discover more potential songs but always liked:-

Jackson Browne - Late for the sky
Barber - Adagio for Strings

At my sisters funeral she requested Dido's lament sung by Jessye Norman.
Dido's lament

For myself when I am shot by a jealous lover at the age of 115 I'd go for one of Strauss Four Last Songs.

quote:

I hope that when I go, my family and friends will not be too sad.

Ken, my points really had little to do with a persons perception of whether they had a good life or not so good or that happy is good and tears are bad. I had hoped that they were more a reflection on the fact that their is a time and a place for everything.

The reality is that each of us will pass away from this earth only once. To me, this is a huge deal. The story of your life is now over and what you did with your life is a done deal now. So I find it peculiar that we as a species seem to go out of our way to avoid emotion or sentiment at all costs. Surely, for a couple of hours or days or weeks (depending on our relationship with the person) we can, out of due respect, embrace the grieving process in some way and not try to act like nothing happened or changed or that this is just another social event. Upon the death of someone, I believe that their is never going to be a more appropriate time to grieve or mourn that person.

Doug

quote:

At my sisters funeral she requested Dido's lament sung by Jessye Norman.

Hey FlyMe, very nice. This is the selection of Purcell that I picked a couple of posts back although my recording of it started it a bit earlier back in the text. The words for the lament in particular are - When I am laid in earth, may my wrongs create, No trouble in thy breast, Remember me, but ah! forget my fate.

The recording I have is on Archiv Produktion and with Tatiana Troyanos and Sir Charles Mackerras conducting.
Doug

Curious that nobody mentioned :

Requiem (Mozart)
Siegfried's funeral march (Wagner and admittted a bit on the heavy side)
and for french songs "Le moribond" (Brel) but examine carefully the lyrics while still alive before deciding

Philippe