Fritz's Official New Years Day Underwater Speeding-Ipod-Hydra-World Cup Thread:

quote:

Originally posted by rodwsmith:
I liked the description of Pete Burns that a radio DJ gave this morning:

"It looks like his face has been set on fire, and that someone has put it out with a chair"

Harsh, but accurate.

Isn't original spontaneous humour wonderful!

Early Ronnie Barker I believe John? *

There is naturally a far more important and larger consequence of the Liberal-Democrat leader publically airing his dirty washing! In my umble view; instead of the country nationwide targetting the horrible little brats (Our/Your Brats/Yoof) who puke up and smash winjers on a weekends binge-drinking session, and subsequently are 'not your property' anymore, the owness has been put into the 'True' section of the ball-park, ie, with the British 'Adult' population, at long last, for serious 'social-Professional' debate and not the usual 'Anecdotal' bollocks? Who's George W Bush then, for fuck's sake kids?

Irrespective of how one considers the Political manouverings of Mr Kennedy (who incidently I personally voted for the last time I was elligible to, in a General Belgrano/ sorry! Election (By Proxy)), it has always been well known that he liked a drop, as with many other leaders, long before they were ever put into office by the whingeing hypocrital rabble who now want to destroy him, and no doubt the party's own credibilty too? much to the 'Glee' of those great renound Tee-Totallers, Broon, Blair, Campbell, & even Menzies himself! though I must admit he does need a new barber, a bit more along the lines of hardman (he thinks) Reed, methinks!

What we have here is a real chance to break the mad British taboo of sorting out a problem (as with drug abuse) that costs the country £Billions of squids a year, wether it be road death, early demise, acute family breakdown (we all know of it, and if you say you don't, you're either in denial yourselves, or lying to protect someone or something, there's no in-betweens). 'Booze' in UK is expensive as a habit, therefore folks of all levels in society, maintain their positions, mainly doing a great job too, and I don't mean weekend posers like Our Mick, either!

N.B. Good it's in the open and hopefully will remain that way, alcohol abuse and dependency destroys nations at all levels (Russia, Scandinavia, Britain, even Bahrain, etc) who's kidding who? The reason why most educated and/or Jocks don't touch the big 'W' is bacuse they all know, quite well, that it's the one thing they cannie ever beat, innit*

Nice rant that, time for a coffee methinks (not an Irish one either)*

N:B: If Britain gets off of it's arse on this one (I don't mean sickening verbal garbage from the likes of Hewitt either), and realises that it's not the only land on this earth, and that by comparing with other countries, it'll just get nowhere either, until, it asks itself why 'as a country as a whole' if we're all so bloody great & happy, Why is everybody pissed out of their brains all the time? pretty simple really, innit*

I feel we'll see lots more 'Public figures & non entities' doing the same as Charlie Boy in the not too distant future, and irrespective of their individual cynical or otherwise motives, Good On Em! innit*

But just don't expect to become a Royal Marine Officer as a Tee- Totaller, that's all! Passing Bucks & Blame Games only play for time, but never get to the real root of the problem John, obvious innit*

Safe, sensible social drinking is a wonderful thing, 'Education' of it's use is the key! not from ex boozers and folk who've gone too far neccesarily, but from peers and family who've enjoyed healthy safe drinking all of their lives (I don't refer here to the genenic/inherited/ disease aspect either): The Debate conn tinues, hopefully?* or will it be pushed back under the dirty carpet, because you/we/I can't accept ot as an illness, rather than a personal choice of self-dicpline?

Some nice jokes there too, Luigi, you Old Wine drinker you, on the bestshortJoke thread:

Regards



Fritz * (Grinning Smiley) hehehehehehehe *


Just think! Scotland is World famous for it's fire water, as Ireland is also World Famous for it's Oily gold. The strange thing is, both of these fine specialities originated in the other land? *

Did Betty Ford drive a Daimler-Benz? *

Crack & Smack don't need to be insured *


P.S. That Yankee cigar insurance episode was rather refined though I must admit! even though he did 'inevitably' lose in the end, bit like trying to break the bank at Monte Carlo really I suppose, innit *


Almost enough to turn everything puce GREEN innit *

Saw a great filum last night for the first time ever, produced by George Harrison in 1985. Comedy aux Carribean, starring lots of faces like Mr Michelwhite, BigYin, Rigsby, Mr Palin, etc, etc, and good sounds from Eric etc, etc, good larf *


This green stuff; is actually quite growing on me already, It rather brightens the Old joint up a bit doesn't it? *

Did you hear about the colour blind Chap that really saw red once?

Apparently Holly Johnson shows the power of his love, by ending all of his 'Private' correspondence with;

Yours, AyeeeeeAYeeeeAye *


I don't think he's on the square though?

My White Letters, cushty*

And Pray tell! What is this suspence stuff then John? *

quote:

Originally posted by blackforest:
lieutenant mazzarona - you are really funny ;-)

+blackforest

I'll Second That!


Regards

Fritz*

Great to see Sky TV still calling itself, News Channel of the year, innit! Though like the good old value for money & freshly Made BR Sandwiches of long-afore, one never knew exactly when & which year?

As Tarquers quite rightly says, 'Less is More', and in the financial sense of things, he has a good valid point; Why on earth should 5% of well off successful Chaps, suffer at the hands of the 95% who feed them, innit?

1 member, 1 vote, how bloody outdated eh? Proportional Representation, God Forbid, they'll be having it in N.Ireland next, and look what they know? how bloody Undemocratic can you get, I ask you, really? *


Sir Winston would have sorted it, though of course he changed party allegiance instead, crafty Old Chappy * lest you forget? *

Where does the onus actually lie though`?

I'll second that! Lieutenant !*

As is well known of course; his Holiness the Pope likes a few wee green pints of the Old Creme De Menthe for breakfast on occassion too, though I don't know if he's ever eaten diced carrots or not?, and I really daren't even mention it being the reason why they carry him around all over the place in that chair of his, innit?*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
Presenter: The Battle of Bosworth Field was the last battle in what long war?
Contestant: The Boer War?
Presenter: I’ll give you a clue. It was in 1485.
Contestant: The Crimean?
BBC RADIO GLOUCESTERSHIRE


Please e-mail entries to dumb@private-eye.co.uk

Contestant: You step in it and it takes you up and down to different floors. Richard Madeley: Dog poo?


This looks like it'll be very interesting stuff for the WhiteHoose, innit ! *

What's this then! Scotch Mist Matey? *

quote:

Originally posted by Nime:
But is this relevant me old ... German sausage?

Personally me Old China, I really don't give a Monkeys anymore what the Yanks do, or don't do, and I reckon, for now at least anyway, the Democrats, are no less Wishy Washy than the Pubs in the real world!

Cheyney & Rummy, are two of the dodgiest geezers on the entire planet, and I just hope that Barbara Bush keeps them well in check, for all of our sakes, you know it makes sense!


Always preferred the original Dylan version of 'Heaven's' door actually, just after my own of course * 'One must be Humile' Quote( Capt. Mark Phillips, aka, Fog) Honest*

Grafitti on C-Cathedral private toilet wall many years back ("Basil Hume cheats at scrabble") 'Quote Unquote' (Terry Waite, if I recall correctly?) or as Magnus M would say ! Collectly, innit*


Must have been Runcie I reckon? *

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

I really don't give a Monkeys anymore what the Yanks do, or don't do, and I reckon, for now at least anyway, the Democrats, are no less Wishy Washy than the Pubs in the real world!

You don't fancy Mrs Clinton then?

Some folks find Tony Benn's boy far more attractive! *

Edmund*

quote:

Originally posted by sonofcolin:
As is 'plug and play.'

Hilarious *


P.S. I know now that the quality of the 'Times' has gone seriously downhill, because I recently managed to actually answer three clues in the crossword, Private Eye! No Chance, I just can't think abstractly enough! *

My screen's changed colour again? I'd describe it as a 'whingeing Pink' with a touche' of raw pork* Maybe this is what Old Hippys saw when tripping on acid Man, listening to CCR an stuff? *

Nime, me Old Buster! What on earth has being an alcoholic got to do with my previous crossword comments, unless you mean because I mention my own partying on this forum from time to time, that they are related somehow?

One of the Lib-Dem Pinko young Turks has just Outrageously stated that 'Charles Kennedy made himself, after his statement last night, the most well known alcoholic in Britain!' What absolute Bollocks², I can think of loads more worthy candidates to date'', and as we know Journo's & Musicians are very well known for their imbibing too, innit. Crosswords, like anything else, with blind memory & practice, and as with, er, 'IQ' tests only prove you are good at doing,er, crosswords &/or, er, IQ tests, and nuffink else John, but yew knowe me !*

N.B : Great to hear a deafening silence from the other two party's as well innit, I bet 2 Jags hasn't kept his mouth shut for so long in yonks!*

P.S.

I see Our Tarquers is doing a fine job, at attempting the good old Robinsonesque 'Clique'-'Group Responsibility' fart in a force 8 attack strategy once again, but will they be missed, I think not somehow! *

Perhaps a Whiter Shade of Bethnal Green would be more appropiate Chaps?



i Is MissiN oUr mIcK ALreadY*

Phritz me old wotistz

The reference to alcoholism was not aimed at anyone in particular. I once had the pleasure of several ranks above me who were all total pissoholix. I mean literally crawling up the stairs to their oriffices after the daily wet lunch! All of them deeply embedded in the old funny pinny brigade to a man! All of them drove home every night. Never once caught despite the obvious dents on the posh paint in the private carpark.

quote:

Tarquers and his mates will already be there burning the guys house down, and God knows what else to his own family, in the name of 'revenge', or am I wrong here Chaps & Chappessess?

Fritz,

The blokes house, it has since been announced, apparently is what's called a "Halfway House" for paedophiles, rapists as well as other convicted criminals. There's a kiddies school crossing a 50 yards up the road!, smart fucking planning by the council eh?

How can you defend a bloke about having his identity given out, when the bloke was caught with the girl in his car trying to out-run the police red-handed. On top of that the "Scientific Investigation Unit" have been at his flat for the last 3 days (and are still there). The girl was treated for injuries NOT sustained in the car crash.

quote:

Originally posted by Justyn:

quote:

Tarquers and his mates will already be there burning the guys house down, and God knows what else to his own family, in the name of 'revenge', or am I wrong here Chaps & Chappessess?

Fritz,

The blokes house, it has since been announced, apparently is what's called a "Halfway House" for paedophiles, rapists as well as other convicted criminals. There's a kiddies school crossing a 50 yards up the road!, smart fucking planning by the council eh?

How can you defend a bloke about having his identity given out, when the bloke was caught with the girl in his car trying to out-run the police red-handed. On top of that the "Scientific Investigation Unit" have been at his flat for the last 3 days (and are still there). The girl was treated for injuries NOT sustained in the car crash.

Typically taking things out of context, and being confrontanial, laddy, and aggressive when it suits your needs old Chap do not work with moir I'm afraid! and that's just on a 'Civilised' internet forum. You believe as you wish, (and as you and your Chaps will do too, irrespective of what's staring you all in the face), my point 'as you're well aware' was/is, that I see no need for a British Legal System, as you Chaps have got everything nicely and conveniently sewn up & in the bag by association already. This steriotypical 'weak' reaction on your part(s) that arises without fail every time, such a case arises in the playground honestly astound me. As with the Scottish guy, who seemingly was the 'one wot dunnit' was found hanged a few months back nearby, and as with another found dead yesterday, nearby to a recent similar crime-scene. If YOU personally wish to take the law into your own hands, then good on yer! but be prepared to take the consequences of your own actions, 'if caught' and not hide behind the usual SUN/SKY vigilante crowd, and passing the buck onto other weaker partys.

If, as I said in my first post, that through stupidity on 'procedural grounds' the system may well let a guilty man go free 'With legal protection' at your taxpayers cost (not allowing him a fair trial for instance). I'm of course a realist, and know he will be 'done', but not by you Matey, or any of your friends. The German woman who took it upon herself to shoot a man in the dock accused of raping & killing her child, subsequently took the consequences of 6 years inside (and full respect² to her), irrespective of the public & Official sympathy she recieved, and I suggest Old Son, that if you are not prepared to do the very same thing, you should wind your own neck well in, and remind yourself of what the police are there for in the first place John, or should I say Jack? *

Regards

Fritz*

Fritz,

I do hope the law will take it's own course, the bloke will most probably be found guilty. My point is that this bloke has committed a terrible crime and been caught red handed, unfortunately the punishment won't fit the crime.

Regards

Justyn.