Happy Birthday W.A. Mozart II
Posted by: Berlin Fritz on 23 January 2006
Most German's have an annoying habit, (if you're not English that is) of calling all Brits 'Engl�nder' so if you're a Paddy, Jock, or Taff, it can be quite demanding on one's patience at times! I mean I'd be bloody pissed off too, if somebody kept calling me Welsh all the time as well (and let's face it, who wouldn't Boyo, isn't tit?).
As the British (mainly English & 'HM Gutter Press) like to fondly refer to Germans as The Bosh, Krauts, The Hun, etc, etc, they themselves have a nice little descriptive phrase for us too, though far less insulting I find! We are tenderly known as 'Insel Affen' (Island Monkeys) (which is a light insult to a stranger) so when I'm in ignorant company (quite often) I start off by calling myself such, and get red faces all round, works a treat so it does; and breaks any ice that might still be lurking in tiny minds, dunnit.
Fritz
Enjoying it all***
P.S.
I refer here of course to everyday street German/English and not Company bullshit sprouted
out by two year contract wallers on high wages & commissions (Consultants & Sales)who wouldn't know their arses from their elbows in the real world of one to one meaningful communication, innit** Wotta Prize Old Bitch that Fritz is today, really, give him a wallnut to shut him up somebody**
N.B. There's hands afoot here to ban the speaking of other languages in school playgrounds (high level politics) in odour to improve allround Spoken-German amongst all kids and better comunication in class. The princible's good I reckon, but God only knows what stress will occur in trying to actually enforce it**
It's not always easy being a teacher*
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
Talking of Comedians, look at these comic pathetic sentences for a non Murder??? *
quote:
Originally posted by Earwicker:
quote:
Originally posted by JamieWednesday:
Ik wilde enkel iets toevoegen voor het geval dat Adam Meredith let op. Hij zou zenuwachtig kunnen zijn...
Kende u geen Adam vloeiend spreekt het Nederlands? Wij moeten zorgvuldig zijn wat wij zeggen!
EW
I'm sure that Our Adam is very fond of Badgers, beavers, and bats, maybe you should
ask him personally, without writing in such a heavy dialect*Ü
Positive this will help matters*
Fritz von Gawd-Blimey-Guvnor-that-LIttlejohn-Geezer's-only-a-Bleedin-Mirrionaire-Now-Ain't-eee**
I wonder what language they'll be shouting at Upton Park this evening?*
'Come on Fulham, there's good Chaps**'
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
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Li Po (701-762)
(Dutch Translation)
Drinking Alone with the Moon
From a pot of wine among the flowers
I drank alone.There was no one with me --
Till raising my cup, I ask the bright moon
To bring me my shadow and make us three.
Alas, the moon was unable to drink
And my shadow tagged me vacantly;
But still for a while I had these friends
To cheer me through the end of spring....
I sang. The moon encouraged me
I danced. My shadow tumbled after.
As long as I knew, we were born companions.
And then I was drunk, and we lost one another.
....Shall goodwill ever be secure?
I watch the long road of the River of Stars.
Ying Tong Tiddle Li Po (701-762)**
I went out with a Chinese bird once*
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by mtuttleb
quote:
I went out with a Chinese bird once*
What did you prefer ?
Chinese or curry
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by mtuttleb:
quote:
I went out with a Chinese bird once*
What did you prefer ?
Chinese or curry
Her name was Luby*Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by JamieWednesday:
Ah goed toen, misschien zouden wij op het Portugees moeten overschakelen dat behalve het zijn enkel over de stomste taal ooit creëerde, zijn bloedig hard om te begrijpen
"Acima do Chelsea e para baixo com o espanhol"
All sounds Greek to me Stavros? *
i Is forever blowin der Bubbles, innit*
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
It is a well recorded fact that Sir Ian Blair was for many years a brilliant and succesfull Murder Squad Detective of the highest order with the Met. I tend to think though, (reading between the lines: IMHO) that this excellent track record does not automatically make one a good 'Highest Copper in the land', and I feel that he may well be unceremoniously & unfairly ousted, before his full time's up; but what the Dickens do I know?*
Beggin yer Umble yer Loadship**
You know me** (I don't think)
Fritz von Talking with Hemp Plants is well ropey*
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
Having just enjoyed a rather nice early dinner, together with a Classic 'Only fools & Horses' wideo to-boot /The Opera and Hunting jobby with Wickey's Pater, etc), it's now time for some post-scram titbits, namely a mild Gouder, and a pretty decent soapy full mature bit of the same; as well! toasted to buggery on thinly sliced fresh baguette, with a smidgeon of even more freshly made '50/50 milk & water' Gunpowder English mustard (Alverstoke, Hants) to give it that extra Kazzam, and in fact Double Dutch at its very finest actually: and all washed doon with a pretty reasonable horizontal lubricant called (Entre' Der Legs, 2006: January was always a decent Vintage)(I kid you not).
Will 'theoretically' finally sign my new job contract in the moaning, and begin even more theoretically on the 30th, so unfortunately, I'm possibly just not going to have the same amount of free time to give you all the commitment you all so deserve, and are used to?*
Regards,
Fritz***
I'm sure that Our Mick will miraculously appear the minute he see's the coast is clear, innit**
(We know it's true), life is just one big Old coincidence innit! and then you die***
Goodnight+*
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
The Wrekin Wrangler, BBC Radio Shropshire
Mathew Carr: What was the destination of the Mariner 9 space Probe?
Caller: Plymouth.
Steve Wright's Big Quiz, Radio 2
Steve Wright: Which brothers made the first powered flight in North Carolina in 1903?
Contestant: Erm, the Boeings?
Richard Allison (standing in for Wright): Name the eccentric politician who has resigned as editor of the Spectator to concentrate on his political career with the Conservatives.
Contestant: Boris Yeltsin.
You learn summfink new every day! innit*
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by erik scothron:
The only real benefit to me in having that kind of money is that I could give it away. How does anyone every justify their 5th ferrari or a second yacht or living in a palace when so many children in the world are living in fear on the streets. Take your 100 million and build some orphanages in the philipppines or africa and see the faces of those you help and then you will truly feel like a rich man.
So what's that for a load of old self-righteous Parryesque Baloney then Sir? The half that is taxed, or he half that call your own, or why did you play Lotto in the first place? Perhaps you are now not a poor man/person anyway, and a percentage of your own present wealth (without tax relief, etc, etc,) is worth a thousand times more than any large sum, ie, a pound from an Indian street beggar is worth far more than your £Monkeys squire, and please don't confuse yourself, because it's all about motive, and not relative quantity even, innit.
Educate Phillipino's, Britain's, and African's, etc, etc, to curb their own corrupt societies,
then things can only move forward, innit***
You know it makes sense,
Fritz, not giving a dime Buddy**
Sponsered by Sir Bob, Van the Man & Bono***
20 years of schoolin an they put him on the day shift, look out kid ****
Posted on: 23 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by Nime:
quote:
Originally posted by Steve Toy:
If I'm in the pub I expect to indulge in something that goes nicely with a pint.
Like sex?
Which will be taxed soon too no doubt? The Irish don't even discuss smoking anymore, as will be the case in England a year afterwards, no doubt! The mega revinue loss, will be seen immediately by Our Gordon, so what will fill the gap, Camelot, or PFI?
Regards,
Fritz
They should ban HM Gutter press for the world cup period, then England might win the bloody thing at last! what a bunch of stupid selfish twats, really, I'm lost for words over the Erikkson witchhunt, it's so mind-bogglingly Chavesque and moronic² **
Mind you the smoking case could well be a new Fox-Hunting jobby, 500hours plus, don't want to discuss silly things like Our Troops in Afghanistan or Iraq, etc, or rendition, etc, etc, now do we, never mind getting caught spying by Boris, and you may have noticed how Mrs Merkel is already showing her displeasure to Georgie boy* (maybe not)*
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Nime
Overheard at Steve's tennnis club:
"Ere mate, You don't mind me shagging while you're enjoying your fag?"
"Well you can always find another table if you don't like shagging?"
"Oi! This is the non-shagging area!"
"I hate passive shagging!"
"Oi! Don't you know shagging is bad for you?"
"If you want to shag do it somewhere else!"
"Can I cadge a shag off you mate?"
"Oi! I'm allergic to shagging!"
"If you want to shag, do it outside!"
"NO SHAGGING"
"PLEASE DO NOT SHAG IN THESE TOILETS"
"PLEASE CONFINE SHAGGING TO THE AREA PROVIDED"
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
Very Good Nime, me old half-flake, I reckon the toilets must probably kept clean for the Charlie sniffin too, innit (before the shaggin naturally). Me mate Dave's bird told me he used to like a fag before and after they shagged too, the only problem with him was that it was always the same bloody fag, wunnit**
Free eye test in UK if you are over 60! Does this mean other's have to pay on the NHS? Have I heard this correctly?***
Regards,
Fritz Von Rauchen Verboten ins Shag Bereich*
Just signed my contract, so I'm now legal at last:
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
The IFA's what?
I think Our Nime, mean't the qualified ones Captain?
Archie for England Trainer***
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by JamieWednesday:
??????????????????
Perhaps too many deeply coded messages were being transmitted unwittingly via this forum to enemy agencies, innit?
But you know me, I ain't sayin Nuffin Dave*
Morroco Mole*
Oh How I will titter, if after a successful World Cup for England, Our Sven returns in 2 years time as another €uropean Manager (German possibly, or Swedish) and kicks England's arse in the European Cup, innit*
Media SCUM, not scrum²
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
I was thinking that if I won �100,000,000 I might just be rich enough to start smoking on a regular basis one day? I was near shocked & stunned to learn that many Scottish people actually consider England as a foreign country, with it's different legal and educhashun systems, not to mention referring to whisky as Scotch, and the bampot healthier quisine with fruit & veggies an'all that shite, doonright disgusting so it is Jimmy!
Regards,
Archie**
I wonder why tens of thousands of English folk never seem to emigrate to Scotland then?*
quote:
Originally posted by bob mccluckie:
I have an I-trip which although critical of where you put the i-pod in the car, once sited performs excellently, to a high quality. ''#
Very popular with burnt out, and loaded, naim owning Old Hippies apparently? but you know me! Though more a case of I-tripped methinks* *
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by bob mccluckie:
Parry likes killing things. Cats I seem to remember.
Some would say conversation too John! But you know me, innit**
Regards,
Fritz*
Our Mick's only been away a couple of days anyhow*
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
I hear a rumour (only a rumour mind) that those true & Worthy unemployed incapacity-benefit-drawing British folk who really want to work, but are barred from doing so by silly medical certificates, and pension advisors, and (self taught) IFA's to-boot, can now go to Europe, see a Doctor, get passed fit, and return to happily re-contribute to society again, instead of being classed as a whinging, scrounging scallywag by the local Chavs. Still on the subject of the gross missuse of taxpayers money by local Councils and 'private Brasso interests', not to mention tax evading religions & 'Charities', I hear that many folk died in the recent cold snap through hypothermia, etc, let's see how well the gutter press reports it, now we're slowly moving over to the caring Tory point of view (in case you haven't noticed?): The dirty digger himself has very rarely & publically' so decreed', now that England's in €urope naturally too at last, innit.
Me mate Dave's bird slept with another blokes wife recently, he reckons they had a great old time, till he got caught spying them through a hole in the wall*** perverted old git, so he is**
Regards,
Fritz ( Archie the slug's fan-base Monitor)*
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
quote:
Originally posted by TomK:
Using logic's pointless Steve. Must be something in amongst all the carcinogens that disables the smoker's ability to think logically or considerately.
You are most probably right there Tommy Boy, me old China! and without wanting to seem too hypocritical myself (God forbid), I'm now orf daan the auld boozer (cos it's fffff'reezin in here) and I'll no doubt smoke a couple of tabs mesen, as like Mr Toy, I'm not personally diciplined enough to say no, over a beer at present. I'll be glad when pubs beocome non smoking here (not even on political agenda yet, strangely enough) there is also a positive psychological angle to letting people smoke in times of great strife by the way, as well!
Regards,
Fritz***
Have all James Last Fans got Beethoven's Ear for music then?
Posted on: 24 January 2006 by Berlin Fritz
Pathetic
Posted on: 25 January 2006 by u5227470736789439
Dear Fritz,
Give us a clue! What is pathetic? TTFN, Fredrik
Posted on: 25 January 2006 by Nime
quote:
Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
Dear Fritz,
Give us a clue! What is pathetic? TTFN, Fredrik
He may be refering to those that value the exact arrangement of the positions of the barrels of a gun above all other niceties.
A group whose ultra-Konservative mores and morals was largely built on slavery. (of one kind or another)
Posted on: 25 January 2006 by u5227470736789439
Lorr! That's me then! Oh dear! Except that it certainly is not 'the most important thing!' But as in many things in life, it is best to get it right if you can. No one admires Tony Blair for waring poorly taylored evening dress when, even if he knows no better, he should at least have the advisors to help him get it right...
I guess I have upset a few here in the Padded Cell, but it takes alsorts to make the world go round, including the lovely folk, who debate the need for gaps under a 552 in the Hifi Room. I would prefer the debate, in that instance, to concentrate on what music effect such a change might produce, perhaps even with a description of the effect in a particular passage from this Beethoven symphony or Mozart concert, or whatever, but it does indeed takes alsorts and the world would be aduller place without eccentrics!
Bloody cold this morning, isn't it? All the best from Fredrik
Posted on: 25 January 2006 by Nime
quote:
Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
Except that it certainly is not 'the most important thing!' But as in many things in life, it is best to get it right if you can. No one admires Tony Blair for waring poorly taylored evening dress when, even if he knows no better, he should at least have the advisors to help him get it right...
Define "right". Can you explain why it is important that he should dress correctly? (one can safely assume that he could easily afford almost any wardrobe) Perhaps he neither cares for uniforms or actually prefers to raise a subtle finger to establishment in this way? A declaration of independance from the signals that separate the classes?
