Happy Birthday W.A. Mozart II

I think raising a subtle finger is rude, and I don't like rude people. Points can be made clearly and with civility, and then nobody is in doubt about what the intention was. In that way the person making the point, maybe, will be disliked for it, but will certainly have been shown to have the courage of his or her convictions, and be regarded as straight forward. I am all for clarity, but then I am just a bit old fashioned and no doubt wrong as well. I am too old to change though! Fredrik

LETTERS

Sir,
Police officers reading about North Yorkshire County Council's claim of 'harassment'when asked simple questions by journalists (Eye 1149) will barely raise their eyebrows. The protection from Harassment Act 1997 (amended by SOCPA 2005) was introduced mainly to deal with "stalking" after several high profile cases. Regrettably, loose wording allowed all manner of interpretation and it is now often used by jilted, bitter ex-partners seeking to criminalise, for their own purposes, what is generally nothing more than a nuisance (texting, telephone calls etc), neighbours with petty disputes who seem unable to resolve their problems like grown-ups and teenage girls falling out with each other on a daily basis, using "texting" (again) to annoy each other. Such individuals readily and regularly report such "crimes" to the police who in a desperate attempt to comply with the National Crime Recording Standard (NCRS) then record and "investigate" such nonsesnse. The femail journalist who called NYCC does have a defence to the "offence" though. The Act states that it is only harassment if " another reasonable person in possesssion of the same information would think the course of conduct amounted to harassment" I think NYCC might struggle there.

Get out there and deal with burglers and rapists? If only.

MARK POWLS (serving Officer)
Ringmer, E.Sussex.

Handheld-Steam-Powered-Issue-1150 Jan/Feb 2006, innit, Don't coppers moan sometimes, eh*

N.B. When I first had a bash at Kendo as a teenager, I hired the kit, as it was bloody expensive, bit like clay thingy shootin I suppose really, but you know me, I ain't sayin nowt, innit*


Pathetic*

Posted Wed 25 January 2006 16:12
Fishing Trip

A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you.

Pick me up.

Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts?

Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."



Fredders Old Bean, you came to mind for some reason Old Chap?***

Best Regards,

Fritz

I was at a little meeting a few days ago, and was telling all and sundrie my name (as they'd asked), and then totally out of the blue, a young lady (with who'm, I am/was aquainted) though Hadn't seen for about 3 years, nonchalentally strolled in, tapped me on the shoulder, and said "Hello Fritzy mate, how's it going?), I was shocked & stunned, and trigger did come to mind! (Absolutely True, Honnist, now would I lie to you John(s)?)***

(Fritz is a nickname known to 95% of folk I know, (and their kids) but not at all used in my own local Hood , where my real name is Dave or Rodney, or Graham) , obvious, innit Tom!*

quote:

Originally posted by Rasher:
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon."

About three years old I'm afraid old chap, lest somebody calls you a plonker! As original as Our Tarquer's latest Mickey mouse IFA patter to some poor punter not wanting to buy the investment policy of his dreams, or Our Mick, being himself on a bad day, innit*

I trust this helps,

Fritz

Irrespective of the fact that Our Mick's unfortunately a lost James Last groupie, I feel that his obvious enjoyment in posting here (as with my own too, on occasssion!(Adam faints)) is lost on many folk here? 'Acting' 2nd Lt. Lanyard-Partly, unwittingly said (sorry! I forgot, it was totally unmemorable Squire)***

Users & Abusers are not happy Peeps in reality I feel, and their insecurity when put in uniform is downright bloody dangerous for all and Sundrie to see *

Best Regards,


Archie* (One Smiley of your own interpretation)

Nime Old Beak, I'm still rootin for your cat Son, if he's anything like me, he'll come fighting back a right fat bastard, and make no mistake! if not, he did his very best, unlike some I could mention, but won't obviously (you know me)**

quote:

Originally posted by Richard Brown:
Mick may be bonkers, but I kind of miss him in a strange way. Where can he be?

It's been rumoured; (only rumoured mind) that he's 'supposedly' on a top secret Ranger Guide Mission (Inspired by Lance Jack. Lanyard.Partly (Rtd)) to find the source of the Golden Rhubarb Forcer, but Sshhh, please don't tell anybody, it's well secret, innit*


Archie*

It's been rumoured (Only rumoured mind) that 'supposedly' Our Arye has stated that the Israeli Occupation has absolutely no bearing whatso'ever with the problems currently enjoyed with Palestine?* (There's Orangey)*

Is Fisbey a type of jump? & (Was Shakespeare an auld Poof?)

Will Lt Col. Partly-Manly, be kicked out of the Big Brother bungalow?

Is it really true, that Our Adam has finally given up snorting Brasso?

And finally! When 2nd Lt. Arry Windsor gets his new toys to play with at the Royal-Blues, will they give him live ammo? * (Guess which smiley that was then Chaps?)

"Isn't life strange?"*

quote:

Originally posted by Yeldarb:
I would have to think hard about turning up to work on Monday.

Why! Are you Jewish John?

Regards,

Fritz

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
Read the threads.

It's still distasteful. An unedifying, narcissistic trait.

Don't you just despise people who constantly blow themselves up out of all proportion, I mean, who the hell is Sylvia anyway?


Archie the slug is real Man*

quote:

Originally posted by Steve Bull:
Resolution updates seem patchy: Bournemouth/Poole/Christchurch is now very clear, but 5 miles out of town and it's as bad as it ever was.

Steve

Your funding is obviously still nicely rolling in then John! Pleased to hear it, innit*


Regards,

Fritz

quote:

Originally posted by domfjbrown:
Well, if you can't keep your own paintbrush in your own pot, you deserve what you get.

If and when I sleep with other peoples wives (usually close friends), as far as I'm concerned, if any fault at all is to be outed, it's on the part of the Lady alone, as I am free & single, and any 'imaginations' relating to shame, and suchlike, are pure egoistic bullshit, innit*

Get a life*


Archie the Toyboy*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
Read the threads.

It's still distasteful. An unedifying, narcissistic trait.

Don't you just despise people who constantly blow themselves up out of all proportion, I mean, who the hell is Sylvia anyway?


Archie the slug is real Man*

Hamas?

quote:

Originally posted by erik scothron:
30% of married women kiss their husbands goodbye when he leaves the house in the morning

95% of husbands kiss their houses goodbye when they leave their wives

Rumour has it that Our Mick has been having serious problems passing water of late! Every time he crosses the Fourth Bridge his Rover breaks down, dunnit***

You know me*

quote:

Originally posted by Jim Lawson:

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
Read the threads.

It's still distasteful. An unedifying, narcissistic trait.

Don't you just despise people who constantly blow themselves up out of all proportion, I mean, who the hell is Sylvia anyway?


Archie the slug is real Man*

Hamas?

Although suicide does supposedly bring on many changes, it's painless too I hear?*

“Civilizations die from suicide, not murder,”
A. Toynbee

quote:

Originally posted by Spock:

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Chaps

I must admit surprise at being mentioned as I thought most of you would have been pleased to see the back of me.

Not true. Glad you reported in for light duties.

All the best

Spock

Still Bloody whingeing like an old tax relief scrounging self pitying biddy then! and he's only been away for five bloody seconds, and mentioned for some reason in dispatches to-boot? Parry! aren't you sick of him? I know his sort, they get right up my goat and make no mistake! anybody'd think this was some sort of bally Social workers student union hangout or something for depressed pinko's in the real world, and just cos a bit of real life touched their precious sacred (scared)-little-life routine, they start getting all renti-mental over big Black famous geezers playin 75 trombones an stuff, innit*

Regards


Fritz von fear and loathing in Swindon*


"I expect you on time on friday at the lodge Our Mick, 'with a full wallet', and don't wear that bloody awful poofter SAS tie again, it just is not you Son!***"

The Management:

N.B. I didn't know that 100% of naim kit guts are non Asian? **** But you know me Clive*

quote:

Originally posted by Jim Lawson:
“Civilizations die from suicide, not murder,”
A. Toynbee

So in recent years, N.Ireland, Angola, Congo, Ruanda, Cambodia, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghaniststan, Sudan, Ethiopia, Kosova, Basquelands, Colombia, & God only knows where else too, were all assisted suicides then John? *


Archie Benedict II*

Fritz

I popped into the Gluepot last week after a train jouney from London and the barman had never even heard of you.

He did say, however, that you seemed to be a wanker.

The barman at the Lodge would never say anything like that.

Regards

Mick

Time, Graham. You must give it time.*

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Fritz

I popped into the Gluepot last week after a train jouney from London and the barman had never even heard of you.

He did say, however, that you seemed to be a wanker.

The barman at the Lodge would never say anything like that.

Regards

Mick

No surprises there then Our Mick, as I've never ever frequented the place, too many aggressive Gobby ex-squaddies with a point to prove through their drunken frustration at life I'm reliably told. So, you finally got chucked out of the Big Brother Hoose then John! (I lost a lady on that one thank you). You are right, forum's are moving places, (though I can listen to music too, simultaneously, as I am now so doing) bit like Swindon (and other) Barman really, who make comments about folk they've never met (though who one day may well do, right out of the bluey), or maybe he was just saying, what you wanted to hear; what do you get paid for running the lodge bar then Jack by the way, or is it charitable on your part?


Regards,

Your Fritz

I'll have a pint or two with you one day if yer lucky! so long as you dinnie forget yer wallet that is John!

Beware of drugged nipples:

I forgot to mention too, Our Mick, you're attempt to reach new heights of conciousness on this forum by using abusive language. You must be aware (as a Father yourself) that children reading these posts could be badly scarred for life by seeing such personal attacks as 'Wanker' being banded about willy nilly. The fact that you yourself chose to put the words into your favourite barman's mouth is neither here nor there, and I must remind you that high flying Silicon Wally Consultants such as thou, can easily be replaced by younger & smarter girls with ease, innit*


Regards,


Fritz (Enjoying some very fine Calvados actually)


My rather poor memory tells me that this is the very first occassion I've seen you use intelligent well thought out Partly-Manly terminology like 'Wanker', and I hope it'll be the last, because it simply lacks style old Chip, and the Grand Master would no doubt agree with me, just like the rest of the all white Jury, innit:

Fritz

I was merely repeating what the barman said. To be honest, the Gluepot is hardly what one would describe as a solubrious pub and it does attract a rather bohemian clientelle. It lies opposite of the Criketers Arms which is a gay pub. Hence you will understand why I assumed you once frequented it. To be honest, I suspected that you had once worked there.

There is a much better bohemian pub up in the "old town" called the Beehive which serves some fairly potent brews and seems to attract a lot of elderly intellectual types who appear to be permanently semi plastered. I have a good friend ( a defence solicitor) who gets blottoed up there most Friday evenings.

A previous landlord paid some unheard of intellectual £5000.00 to give a lecture on a subject that no one understood the first thing about.

Regards

Mick
ut.

Talking of prize Wankers, I've just had 2-Jags on the blower wanting to sell his town house, and whingeing about wether he'll still be one of the lads or not when he gets booted out (which will be soon). Let's face it, he and The Vicar are more Poles apart than a divorced Warsaw couple, and he'll lose everytime, because Our Tony is a prize Super thingy too, innee!


Goodnight,


Fritz von But I think it's important to pull as much wool over as many eyes as possible before I become a Lord together with Sir Ian, and finally pay my mortgage off with Our Cherie's Matrix ripping Tax payers dosh in the guise of legal aids, innit***

another 5 grand Our Mick and you'll get a free fuse:

N.B. I was thinking that as Britain is responsible for 2/3rds of all in personal credit card debt in the whole of 'New €urope', wouldn't it be an absolutely splendid idea to teach teeangers how to use money wisely, by giving them their very own bit of plastic too, boosted up regularly by their Mater & Pater, innit**** You know it makes sense, and then there was a Big old War*

When I'm Cleanin Winders*

quote:

Originally posted by Don Atkinson:
Mike/Mick

quote:

The Nagger is.........

Sounds like an excellent idea

Cheers

Don

I hear the Naggers Head does a reasonable half of Mild, Captain!*

Cheers,

Archie************** (Lots of various Smileys)