New baby sleeping - any advice

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
A good friend of mine recently told me how wonderful it was when his Son came waddling towards him last week arms outstreched burbling DDD'Daddy for the first time ever.

Fritz Von It must have been pretty moving innit

Although apparently he's pretty advanced for his age, and only used a dummy for a short period of time during his early development

This chap sleeps like a log along with soothing music I hear

He's gonna be 16 and half next week and starts an apprenticeship with the post office (hoping one day to become a purchasing manager), as nobody went for it, I had to blow the gaff so to speak (What a forum, really) I suppose someone can guess where I pinched the joke from ? I doubt ?

Fritz Von Mothers milk does improve once she's back on the old Vera Lynn I hear

Fritz

You are abso-fukin-lutely bonkers !

.......... but I lov it !!!!!

Innit

we were told to make an obvious difference between night and day routines. be noisy during the day and keep everything bright around the baby, be quiet at night and invest in a blackout blind. i think people are generally quieter by nature in the dark hours. fear of upsetting the neighbours, winding down, and trying not to wake the kids. night time is YOUR time. make the most of it. it doesnt last long.

Can I sue my parents for not taking me to a cranial osteopath? How ever did the human race survive this long without them? It's no wonder we're in such a mess! If we ever build a time machine we'll have to send vast armies of emergency cranial osteopaths back in time to undo the terrible wrongs they committed in the past by not inventing them earlier.

Nime

Nime

Maybe you should have your head examined ?

....... or massaged ?

I wish I'd written down all the advice we got from NON-PARENTS and written a book on how NOT to raise a child... All well-intended but a bit like getting sexual council from a catholic priest.
My friend was aghast that we didn't have our newborn in bed with us. I told her he'd never have a sibling if he was sleeping with us...
Anyway, new parent jitters are as natural as a baby's crying.
I'm sure it will all work out in the end, it seems to no matter if we have their craniums massaged regularly or force feed them Mozart through CDS3/552/500/DBLs or let them watch all the Teletubbies they want.
What DOES matter is that you love them and do what you think is right by them and yourselves. They react to your emotional state even at that age and it IS difficult if you take your responsibilities seriously what with all the hours and new things to do.
Congratulations and enjoy this new phase of your life.
My "little" one is fast approaching puberty and bounces between pre-teen attitude and being a cuddly boy. The times are changing around here...
David

quote:

Originally posted by long-time-dead:
Nime

Maybe you should have your head examined ?

....... or massaged ?

Touché.

Don't you mean - Toupé ?

You are all bloody heathens.

quote:

Originally posted by NaimDropper:
I wish I'd written down all the advice we got from NON-PARENTS and written a book on how NOT to raise a child...
They react to your emotional state even at that age and it IS difficult if you take your responsibilities seriously what with all the hours and new things to do.

Good points David.
Of the midwives we have dealt with, nearly all have not had children themselves.

It is extremely important to remember that a happy and relaxed environment will influence the behaviour and patterns of the baby. Therefore you must do whatever you need to do to make your life happy, and if that means doing something that you have been advised not to do but works for you, then you should do it. If you or your wife end up permanently tired, ratty, angry & frustrated, that little baby will pick up on it and will feel insecure and frightened. So...you need to have evenings out - obviously you will have to take turns, and you need to take over to give your wife a day off at weekends. It didn't register with my daughter (#1), but we both lay awake being disturbed during the night and both feeling knackered in the daytime. Eventually we learned, and with my son (#2) we realised that it is daft for both of us to go through it, so we took it in turns to go and get a good nights sleep in the spare room. It made a huge difference and it was only necessary for a month. Just 1 or 2 nights a week is enough to recharge, and it made all the difference. If either of you are knackered and stressed, then you are on the back foot for a start as the baby is far more environmentally aware than we give them credit for.

"You need your head felt" was a once common expression fo anyone attempting something unusual or doing something daft.

So time travel is possible!

Nime

I thought it was Tapee´ ?

Touché, toupé or tapée, it all goes right over their heads Fritz.

Nime

Congrats on the new baby, I had one 8 months ago and the key to sleep is a full belly and a routine.
Bath every night at 6:30 pm and then sit on the window and watch the kids on the park. Then into the bed pref on a bottle of milk.
Keep this up for a few weeks and the baby will just think it is the norm.
After about 6 weeks she would be in bed at 6:45 every night and wake up once or twice for a bottle.
Get the baby into their own room ASAP, we did it at 6 weeks, very early but it has paid off.
(we had a boy 3 years ago and he would not go to bed on time until he was 2 years old, this was the result of no routine.)
Best of luck and enjoy../

Once the routine is established (timewise) everything else seems irrelevant. We shied away from blackout blinds - what happens when you go somewhere to put it down for a sleep and there's no blackout blind? Atggghh - a non-sleeping baby, and a shortened engagement/stay. Noise is essential. Our boy had so much noise in-utero (demolition, power tools, building, music) that he usually sleeps through more of the same.

Apart from base-level sub-routines, they're a learning device (eg behaviour and responses are learned). I'm still working on the application of this stuff (valued advice from a father of 3) in re-programming my own responses - it seems to hold true though.

enjoy.

quote:

Originally posted by Rico:
Once the routine is established (timewise) everything else seems irrelevant. We shied away from blackout blinds - what happens when you go somewhere to put it down for a sleep and there's no blackout blind? Atggghh - a non-sleeping baby, and a shortened engagement/stay.

You take a set with you, we do at least.

quote:

Originally posted by Rico:
Noise is essential. Our boy had so much noise in-utero (demolition, power tools, building, music) that he usually sleeps through more of the same.

Absolutely. The boys came around this week for a music evening, and although my daughter came down from her room upstairsat the back of the house to say it was too loud and she couldn't sleep, my little boy (2 years) was directly above my head fast alseep. We have had freinds around to stay with their kids and they disappear when the kids go to bed to stay with them until they are asleep. We have never had to do that - well...we just wouldn't do it. When they go to bed, they go to sleep, or my daughter reads in bed and puts the light out when she is done. I can't understand people making life difficult for themselves. What has kept us with a happy life is having our evenings to ourselves from 7.30pm, every single night. (well...I did watch Dr Who last night with my daughter until 9.00, but that was my idea).

quote:

Originally posted by Rico:
Noise is essential. Our boy had so much noise in-utero (demolition, power tools, building, music) that he usually sleeps through more of the same.

He's a Nirvana fan already??

Many Congratulations

The first few weeks are exhausting but manageable!

The key is a routine with well defined times for sleep and feeding. This makes it so much easier to work out when the baby cries what the problem is. Thus well rested, full belly but crying = full nappy until proven otherwise. Clean nappy and full belly but crying = tired etc etc

Some lessons we learnt with two:
Dummies are ok but you will have a hell of a job getting them to stop later on...best to avoid all together
A blackout curtain is a great idea, this way the baby soon realises dark = sleeptime. Get some additional material and some big safety pins to use when you are away.
Early on, plan a midnight feed at 12-2 so at least you can get some sleep in between. The sooner you switch to solids, belly stays full for longer thus more sleep
Baby goes into own room asap with listening device. You will sleep alot better and feel rested, baby won't care either way

Everybody finds their own happy medium eventually. New-age stuff like cranial osteo is a load of utter nonsense IMO and should be avoided

Have fun

Simon

quote:

New-age stuff like cranial osteo is a load of utter nonsense IMO and should be avoided

We had so much advice... Ugh.
Once someone suggested that the baby needed to hear water running from the faucet. I walked into the kitchen, she was holding the baby near the faucet while he was crying and running gallon after gallon of HOT water down the drain...
I put my foot down and stopped that nonsense. I couldn't get an answer why the water needed to be hot, especially since the child was far from the water and couldn't sense the temperature.
If any such "remedy" whether it be running hot water down the drain or cranial massage is done out of love, then as long as it doesn't harm the child is fine. Many times it is just to make the parents feel better and that is curative as well.
Just don't get suckered into some expensive service -- save that money for college and baby food. You'll need it.
David

Congratulations on the new arrival.

As regards establishing a sleeping pattern I think you have to be realistic in your expectations. We found that a regular routine (strict? 8 days old?) was key to our success. A bath at about the same time, 10 mins of massage (helped with our babys cholic) putting on pyjamas, feed, 10/15 mins of relaxing music whilst winding.... this worked for us.

Bear in mind an 8 day old baby is crying because he is hungry or windy or needs a nappy. Its very unlikely he is just after attention at this age.

They are all different and they should all be cherished and enjoyed.

By the time this bleedin thread is finally finished the kid'll be teaching Economics at Essex Uni, innit !!!

Fritz

I wish someone would send you off to sleep

Regards

Mick Von wheres the bloody sleeping pills when you need them.

The one book I read, and would recommend to anyone about to be, or recently having become a parent is Nigel Planers book(him off the young ones, really !) 'A good enough dad' - no longer available new, but loads of second hand copies available... try amazon or google - I just got a copy for a friend for £1
What it gave me was that all kids look up to their parents, and as long as you love your kid/kids, all is OK.
So much of the rest is down to instinct, and learning, through parenthood, that you are a decent person, has made me feel that my life has a purpose - I owe a lot to my parents !

Good luck, and enjoy every day, every stage - they all pass, and with hindsight you can see why they were little sods last week or whatever.

Have as much fun as you can !

Steve

Best way is simply not to breed.

EW

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Fritz

I wish someone would send you off to sleep

Regards

Mick Von wheres the bloody sleeping pills when you need them.

Only just finished breakfast old Chap, but if you're really restless yourself I'd recommend staring at your eyes in the bathroom mirror very intently whils't reciting Schiller, it works wonders for me, so it does.

Fritz Von Blair for €uro- President Letting sleepin baby's lie:

quote:

Originally posted by Earwicker:
Best way is simply not to breed.

This is a quite popular view and sits well with 'the World's too horrible and I wouldn't want to bring children into it'. People are absolutely entitled to this view and are allowed to breed or not breed to their heart's desires. Quite right too.

Like the Doctor (who?) I like humans. Despite our many flaws I see the potential in humanity and have a soft spot for us.

Yes, I think that the world is pretty awful in some respects and it's mostly our fault that it's got that way. Although I understand people saying that they wouldn't want to bring children into such a ghastly existence, I believe that if we have children it's our responsibility to bring them up as well as we possibly can because it's their job to change the world for the better.

So those that want kids - great. Those that don't - fine. Both groups should however be wary of forcing their views down the throats of everyone else.

Regards
Steve M