FEP Awards? (Joe P, Tony L)

before I nominate you with confidence I urge you to have a little look around - you must have a few FEPs lurking somewhere - try the 2nd system in the garage, the spare bedroom's backup to the ancillary system or the cupboards under the stairs under the cupboards under the stairs.

Yours,

Alex.

The Naim gives better taste, and the ML gives better texture.

Andrew

Andrew Randle
2B || !2B;
4 ^ = ?;

see "calibrating the FEP scale".

Don't worry, you'll soon get the hang of it...

cheers, Martin

regards,

dave

Arthur Bye

It's always a nice day for it, have a good one
Steve

[This message was edited by Steven Toy on FRIDAY 31 August 2001 at 03:28.]

Please note that that is not just your everyday hair dryer, but a "Krel"

Looks like it includes a mains filter.

I wonder if you can get in on installment payments?

Arthur Bye

It's always a nice day for it, have a good one
Steve

If you're up to it, grab a pencil and paper and tally your FEPs. If you disagree with your score, a tripartite Counsel of Elders, consisting of Tony Lonorgan, Andy Weekes and me will hear grievances. But bear in mind that the Elders can rescind as well as award FEPs. Their decision will be final and very likely capricous.

Power FEPs
* Do you have a separate spur for your hi-fi? If yes, add 40 points.

* Is your system plugged into a power conditioner, powerline enhancer, or computer power bar? If yes subtract 100 points (because this one thing kills the groove more than a legion of active Kans could ever hope to fix).

Source FEPs
* Do you own any of the following tables: LP12, Rega P9, or Roxy? If yes, add 40 points.

* Or these tables: Linn Axis, Rega P25, or the Michell rotating cake stands? If yes, add 30 points?

* Or these: P3, Linn Basic, old Heybrook, or Revolver? If yes, add 20 points?

* Any American table? If yes, subtract 30 points.

* Is your turntable placed on a dedicated altar? If yes, add 20 points.

* Does your table have an external power supply? If yes, add 30 points.

* Is your turntable worth more than your speakers? If yes, add 35 points.

* Is your table better than your arm? If yes, add 20 points. If not, subtract 10.

* Is your arm better than your cartridge? If yes, add 20 points. If not, subtract 10.

* If you understand why the last two questions were asked, add 10 points. If not, subtract 10. (Be honest.)

* Do you own a record cleaner? If yes, add 25 points.

* Do you use fancy anti-static inner sleeves? If yes, add 10 points.

* Does your turntable's platter weigh 50 kg or more? If yes, subtract 25 points.

* Does your turntable have a record clamp? If yes, subtract 10 points.

* Is CD your only source? If yes, subtract 10 points, unless you own a CDS-II (add 30 points), a CDS, CDX + XPS or CD12 (add 20 points), a CDI, CD2, or CDX (add 10 points), or a CD3 or CD3.5 (add 5 points).

Electronics FEPs
* Does your preamp have a mono switch? If yes, add 30 points.

* Have you ever accidentally left the preamp in mono but didn't notice for days? If yes, add 20 points.

* Did you paint the front of your 52 silver to match the rest of your classic Flat Earth kit? If yes, add 20 points. (This is to establish whether you're a Flat Earther of yore, obviously worth 20 points in and of itself.)

* Did you chintz out and get your preamp without a phono input? If yes, subtract 50 points, unless you did this specifically to free up money for a separate phono stage. If you did that, add 80 points.

* Does your preamp weigh 5 pounds and your power amp weigh 500? If yes, subtract 40 points.

* Did you go active before maxing out your source, preamp and power supply? If yes, subtract 20 points.

* Does your preamp have tubes? If yes, subtract 30 points.

* Does your power amp have tubes? If yes, subtract 30 points.

Speaker FEPs
* Do you own any of the following speakers: Kan I, Kan II, Sara, Isobarik, IBL, SBL, NBL, DBL, Quad 57s? If yes, add 40 points.

* Do you own speakers by any of the following manufacturers: Royd, Neat, Epos or Dynaudio? If yes, add 30 points.

* Do you own speakers by any American manufacturer? If yes, subtract 80 points (because this is almost as bad as line conditioners for killing the music).

* Do you position your speakers for the best overall groove and image (zero points), best groove (add 20 points), or best image (subtract 20 points)?

Lifestyle FEPs
* Do you enjoy air, space and blackness? If yes, subtract 40 points.

* Do you go to live concerts to enjoy air, space and blackness? If yes, subtract 80 points for being a wanker.

* Is it better to have thin but groovy bass (add 20 points) or full but flubby bass (subtract 20 points)?

* Have you ever spent an afternoon adjusting the tracking force for that magic value between 1.95 g and 1.96g? If yes, add 20 points.

* Do you vacuum your cartridge regularly, knowing full well that one day you'll suck the generator right out? If yes, add 15 points.

* Did you try all four positions of the belt and both positions of the mat on your LP12 to determine which sounds best? If yes, add 10 points. (If you ever wondered whether the belt and mat combinations interact and therefore exponentially increase the number of permutations add another 10 points. Add another 10 if you tried all permutations.)

* Do you spend Saturday afternoon at garage sales, looking for 50 cent LPs? If yes, add 10 points.

* Do you own a 45 RMP version of Yello's "Stella"? If yes, add 5 points.

* Do you own a half-speed master of ELP's "Tarkus"? If yes, subtract 40 points.

* Do you buy half-speed mastered audiophool LPs for their smooth, silky sound? If yes subtract 35 points.

* Have you ever gone to a shop that carries high-end American gear? If you go to deliberately take the piss in front of the salesdude, add 40 points. If you go to report here how dire the system sounded, add 20 points. If you go because you're wondering if a soundstage is for you, subtract 20 points.

* Have you ever dreamt about hi-fi? Was it about hearing or owning better Flat Earth kit (add 20 points) or about hearing or owning better Round Earth kit (subtract 20 points).

Joe

That's becuase its not so much a Flat Earth test but a Are You Joe Petrik Test ;-)

Matthew

It's always a nice day for it, have a good one
Steve

Why have you not awarded mega points for those flat earthers who use a Garrard 401.

Yours

Disgruntled of Swindon

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That's becuase its not so much a Flat Earth test but a Are You Joe Petrik Test ;-)

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Let's just see if anyone else scores exactly 420 FEPs. If so, we may have an impostor here

Joe

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* Do you own speakers by any American manufacturer? If yes, subtract 80 points (because this is almost as bad as line conditioners for killing the music).

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I think this is a little unfair. Not all American speakers are bad. Just most of them. Joseph Audio and Avalon both produce quite good speakers, and both display sonic characteristics that I think would go well with Naim. (Of course, I bought Viennese speakers to better suit my classical predilection.)

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my fep's were better than all of yours before i had to deduct 400 for owning an american turntable. do i get bonus ones for having owned a phonosophie p3 though?

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why have Rega speakers been missed out this time

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Load of rubbish.... Why have you not awarded mega points for those flat earthers who use a Garrard 401.

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I think this is a little unfair. Not all American speakers are bad.

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Must I repeat this so soon? If you disagree with your score, a tripartite Counsel of Elders, consisting of Tony Lonorgan, Andy Weekes and me will hear grievances. But bear in mind that the Elders can rescind as well as award FEPs. Their decision will be final and very likely capricous.

Joe

360 or 380 depending on the answer.
Steve

Cheers

Keith.

Oh well, I am heavily source first (in my system context anyway). Do I get any more for that?

Steve

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* Is your table better than your arm? If yes, add 20 points. If not, subtract 10.

* Is your arm better than your cartridge? If yes, add 20 points. If not, subtract 10.

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I have a P3 with an RB300 tonearm and DV 10x4 Mk2 cartridge. I suspect that the RB300 is better than the P3, and I have no idea about the cartridge. Do I get any of these points?

If I get both of these, then I'll be at 335 instead.

Otherwise, I'll be at 275.

Either way, that's not bad for someone who likes a good soundstage with his PRaT.

-=> Mike Hanson <=-

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if you are Mike Hanson, subtract 275 FEPs

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I bow to your holy FEP-ness, and humbly admit my zero-stature. (I'm so happy now that the stress is off. )

-=> Mike Hanson <=-

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I'm good for 420 FEPs

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I’m only good for 390 with no minuses this time. I’ve lost a few points due to recent system changes – no mono button on a Nait, and I no longer have the TT on a dedicated alter (though it will probably end up on a QS Ref wall shelf, so I will get the FEPs back). I picked up points for having both a P9 and a Revolver, though I do obviously want a bonus for having owned all the top score decks (LP12, Roxy, P9).

I still have the fifty used FEPs that I liberated from Vuk yesterday for his part in stand fascism, and seeing as no one is using them, I will add them to my score bringing it up to 440, thus proving I am more Joe Petrik than even Joe Petrik can hope to be.

Tony.

PS Joe, Andy, we need a public breakdown of Vuk’s alleged 505 score, it sounds deeply suspicious to me.

what's all this blather about 'do I get the points because I used to own xxx'??? Surely they used to have the points until they sold said item?

Now then, according to my interpretation I tally up 375 points.

I presume that I don't get the points for the CDS-II in the 'CD only' question, since I'm not 'CD only'? If I do, add another 30.

I presume that I only get one lot of +40 for having Isobariks and Kans? I guess this would also imply that no-one should take both the +40 and +30 points for speaker models or turntables? (And shame on anyone for cheating in this fashion).

Martin