The All New Fritz Thread 09.02.06.

As a man with 10 years boatbuilding experience, I reckon Michael Jackson's a total tosser, wearing those silly face masks in public (I mean cars are great ain't they), I never choked mesen on fibre glass or chemicals, cos I'm well hard, in fact when I did my 'thingy' stuff with the Black Watch Regiment & many other Pioneer jobbys to-boot, we used to drink acetone & Naafi tea for breakfast, just to get moving, none O'that poofter OVD Dundee shite, no sureee.


Just for one day*

Brassnecks wind in much better oiled*

Having smoked two rather decent Havanna cigars last night brought back by my Rozzer Chum from his recent 3 month central American jaunt ( he hates work already /World Cup preps), will I be banned from entering the US?

I was thinking of visiting a perfect beautiful lady I know daan Washington way?


F.


Maybe I should just earn a fortune letting my apartment out for a month in June (Tickets sorted last night, luvvly jubbly) some talk, others walk***

Fritz

You have malingered off the German taxpayers for goodness knows how long. I doubt if you can remember when you last did a days work and you then criticise policemen who have at least got off their asses and done something useful.

You are the supreme hypocrite.

Regards

Mick

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
Fritz

You have malingered off the German taxpayers for goodness knows how long. I doubt if you can remember when you last did a days work and you then criticise policemen who have at least got off their asses and done something useful.

You are the supreme hypocrite.

Regards

Mick

Regards,

Fritz von Ich bin ein alpha-mensch baby, und warst immer eine, im gegensatz zu dir, du älte quatschkopf²***-*

quote:

I doubt if you can remember when you last did a days work and you then criticise policemen who have at least got off their asses and done something useful.

Swindon must be very different to every other place in the UK I've visited, as I've only ever seen the Police riding on bicycles, in Panda cars, or riot vans.

Young People Far too old


HaHa! said the Clown*

quote:

Originally posted by starbuck:

quote:

I doubt if you can remember when you last did a days work and you then criticise policemen who have at least got off their asses and done something useful.

Swindon must be very different to every other place in the UK I've visited, as I've only ever seen the Police riding on bicycles, in Panda cars, or riot vans.

As a non materialist in the general sense of the word, I've worked pretty hard every day of my life, though when! and if, I've actually earned money as a result, or just had good food and wine/company to enjoy is another matter entirely. Other peoples interpretations of my own life-stlye (that never affected them, so I can only assume good old precious time-wasting jealousy was/is in play, as per usual, though God only knows why?). Since my 16th birthday in UK, having first recieved my NI card,I've always paid tax & dues (even as a sixth form Drunkard), and ask anybody to prove otherwise, innit*


Fritz von We are the Sultans of Swing, and England may well Win The World Cup*

As a final comment this evening! and, whil'st I'm still quite-rightly; banned! from being allowed to post here, afore Our Adam reads and censors (If required) anything I happen to submit through fear of devastating Scandal for the Naim name) my ragged ragings, I've just enjoyed some old old Garnett on the telly, plus an evening meal with so much garlic in it, innit, it'd make a Turkish wrestler blush.

F.

Naturally Prince Albert, Victiria's beloved Husband, didn't speak any English What'so'ever, and they even had a Regiment named after him, strange that, innit*


You know me! OR AM I JUST MAKING IT ALL UP TO DEVILISHLLY UPSET YOUR FUCKING BASS INSTINCTS, AND YOUR NICE OLD MEMORIES THAT ALL FIT LUVVLY JUBBLY INTO PLACE SO SWEETLY, innit? (I refer to the modern generation here of course, naturally Clive)*

I recall many years ago as a teenager in Lonodon/Essex where Our newly opened Kentucky Fried chicken Gaff (totally new to us all then, and a great rival to the local chippy's, chinese & Wimpey Bar) was surprise surprise, raided by the cops, cum health-inspectorate, who unbelievably found a, er, 'designer' dead rat in the kitchen, and closed it pronto (soon to be surprise surpise re-opened with a totally clean bill of health, and the local relevant paid-off Council "Twats" brought brought to task with the same old results that still pertain regularly, er, today, plus a nice tax payers-compenastion bill to-boot (If yer open & transparent, there's no probs, or tell me otherwise Ladies?), Nuffink new there then, innit*

#+#A Rat

A couple of days ago; while I was right in the middle of boringly (attempting to translate) some old squaddies's poem/War story (Previously mentioned) (Albert's Own Regiment) C.Sqn for those even slightly interested; being a German if you think about it; and was Vicky's Old man, never spoke a work of English the old Kraut, during all of his thingys, and thingys, innit.



Sorry, I really must stop lying,


Fritz.


Goodnight*

quote:

Originally posted by Fredrik_Fiske:
Rear Friends,

Rarely have I adjusted my possition so fast as I have during this Thread. Initially I wanted pubs to keep on with a chance for choice, but I see that my arguement lacked logic, and was not thought out. Unlike some of the legislation this half-baked administration has introduced I think this law is not only right, but timely.

Splendid outcome for evey body, with a mind able to work it through.

Smokers, including me, must rightly adjust to the fact that society sees the actuvity as unacceptable in public places. Times change, and only dynosaws stick to the olden ways, and eventually die out.

Fine result, and I never thought I would say that three months ago! Fredrik

I'd diciplined myself to friday nights only, but I really so fancy a fag, I'm now gonna break my weak-wesolve and ´hit the auld bauzer for some Gualois'ises, innit.


God help me*

quote:

Originally posted by Mick Parry:
You are the supreme hypocrite.

He's the supreme something that's for sure.

EW

QUOTE]Originally posted by Mick Parry:
EW

Most people thought it was ok to drive and drive in the 1960's and those who got done often wrote into newspapers asking why the police did not spend their time chasing burglars instead of law abiding motorists.

Times and attitudes change and the law has to reflect that. Whether you like it or not, smoking indoors is totally unacceptable and that includes pubs.

You are in the minority on this one.

Regards

Mick[/QUOTE]

I didn't know that there's no name for the backs of the knees?



Fritz von Auntie Patella*


Most peeps in the 60*s couldn't bloody read anyway, innit!

Broon's probably a Dumfirmline supporter, innit. There again, there's not much competition in Scotland on the old football front really, is there!, s'possibly why most Jocks like living in places like Essex, or Australia*?

Fritz Von Due to the wrong kind of aluminium, yer average 'armoured vehicle' these days wont even withstand a poxy molotov, innit*


I ain't sayin nuffin, you know me!*****

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it.

If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen lo ok like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.

and then take it back to the shop you bought it from!

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"


Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

I hope this lot isn't found to be too funny?




Goodnight*

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:
How did the publication of 12 cartoons in Denmark's Jyllands Posten, a newspaper with a circulation of less than 150,000 people (a considerably smaller minority than the country's 270,000 Muslim population), lead to a dozen deaths in Afghanistsn, the suspension of aid work in Chechnya, the torching of an embassy in Lebanon and threats of beheading on the streets of London more than four months later?

Much of the credit must go to the Danish Imam Ahmad Abu Laban. Last December - two months after the cartoons were published and weeks after six worshippers at his Copenhagen Mosque were arrested on suspicion of planning terrorist activities - Abu Laban and colleagues from the Islamic Society of Denmark embarked on a trip to Egypt, Syria and Lebanon for meetings with imams and ministers in the Arab League, carrying with him a 43-page dossier in which were reproduced all 12 of the Jyllands Posten cartoons. Helpfully, Abu Laban and his companions also included three other images - one of the Prophet with face of a pig, one of a praying Muslim being sodomised by a dog and one of a devilish figure captioned "The Paedophile Prophet Mohammed", all of which were considerably more offensive than anything the paper had published. Ahmed Akkari, spokesman for the tour, claimed that they had merely been included for context, to "give an insight into how hateful the atmosphere in Denmark is towards Muslims." But where did these pictures originate? In two cases, this is still not known (though the paedophile image resembles the sort of scrawl which is regularly found on toilet walls). But the Eye can reveal - with thanks to blogger Neandernews - that the "pig" picture is actually an Associated Press photogragh taken last August at an agricultural fair in Trie Sur Baise, France. Rather than the Prophet Mohammed, it actually depicts one Jacques Barrot competing in the village's annual "pig - squealing competition", in which local farmers dress up and demonstrate their imative skills as part of a day-long celebration of the area's culinary speciality. Barrot did not even win.

Steam Powered P.E. March 2006 (No issue number ? Possibly there's something in the air?)(I'm serious Chaps)


That Manc injury reminded me of Mick Jones scenario in the classic Chelsea - Leeds game of long afore, I trust he'll be OK, touch a Swindonians head!

N.B.

Big Thanks once again to Our Adam for preventing Berlin Fritz from gettin banned recently from this ere forum, against all odds for making such a terrible, and almost unforgivable mistake, innit.


Liverpool - Hammers FA Cup Final (in Wales) wotta Larf, then the World Cup, things are looking up Chaps even though I have to for some reason appreciate that your interpretations and love of Naim equipment and music, is somehow different from mine own? Reminding you all once again that (unless you personally know one another) an internet forum is virtual, and remains virtual, for virtually always, until yer spur goes oot; and with the Padded Cell title, one would assume, a denizen of all subjects under the sun to be discussed, abused, talked about, etc, etc, etc, but this is ever-increasingly in my view seemingly simply not the case, issit, but you know me*


P.S. Nice bit of Brian Eno backing my ground at the mome, and when and if I finally leave this forum for good, either by choice or otherwise, I will never change my taste in hifi equipment (probably):

I fucking hate snobs to be honest, and the inverted hypocritical arrogant (educated) kind are ten times more worserer than the usual morons! Obvious, innit Tom*

You're born with intelligence not education*

Fun & Games in Lybia too today; I see*

Impotent to repeat this, in case you missed reading it in the old NOW, Grab the bastard, he's obviously guilty, besides´'s he's black*
That's Commander Strangelove, the head of the Met's AT Branch Sir!

WEll, give im a warnin*

quote:

Originally posted by Tarquin Maynard-Portly:
I'd read it as a pop against the Army.

I think too on occassion, about the many thousands of young soldiers driven over by Yankee & British tanks (not armoured vehicles with wheels) burying them alive in the process, innit*


aaah, ^wunnit nice*


F.

So waht did Sadders do to Britain or Yankeeland then?

Fritz von Burying thousands of young soldiers alive with our tasty tanks (not rubber wheeled armoured cars, with mickey mouse thin aluminium sides that a sambucca would melt through in two minutes)*

I didn't know that Truman Capote wrote Roots?


Fritz von the things one learns, innit*

One supposes that Andy Murray will now become a token Englishman in the old 'media' innit*


Fritz von I see Council tax is up again, what a scam eh!*

Just in case you miss this when surfing other threads for material:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/4731052.stm

Still, you'll accuse me of pushing me trade again, Brucie? Or then again I could be replying to an earlier post by you??

Who knows...

andy c!

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
Just in case you miss this when surfing other threads for material:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/4731052.stm

Still, you'll accuse me of pushing me trade again, Brucie? Or then again I could be replying to an earlier post by you??

Who knows...

andy c!

I seem to remember putting a comment on here about the WPC shooting literally minutes after it was first reported by the er, media, quite awhile ago, innit*

I wonder why people on here seem to see fit to justify themselves and their er, 'comments' all of the time with the bleedin obvious?*


F*


you know me*

When the British, er, media; blames Germany for the bird flue, I wonder if any caught without an ID card will be shot on sight?*


Personally I think the latest WPC incident will put back their cause for equality in all fields, for some years! as it seems to me the Public like to get, er, all blindly-emotional about pretty young girls, being put in harms ways at their beckoning. Everybody knows, you have to be strong and Macho, to handle a gun like a hero, and come out smelling of roses, that's why it's best British coppers on the wole remain unarmed, and stick to nicking wayward taxi drivers who openly flaunt the laws of the land, innit*


Regards,


Fritz:

Did you know very few ex-Senior NCO RMP's, etc, ever make the ranks of Civvy Copper, I wonder why this is, over-trained possibly?

As is well known; the British NHS is not free, and hasn't been for years. Without wishing to quote silly old-hat magazines etc, with paranoid fixations about PFI bankrupting, and upsetting IFA's who manage these vast interest & profit payments, to the greedy old private sector of Brown's buddies across the land, and saying you can't go on a waiting list, until you've registered, in a er, queue first, not to mention good old Council tax paying for it all, it's all rather dodgey, innit:


Fritz von I've just seen some old black geezer on the auntie slagging off the PM; slagging off the NHS system of operating cherry picking scams, and generally being negative. I am amazed at the quality of people they get on there of late, totally critising and condemning the government at all junctors, who the hell does he think he is, and what the hell does he know about it at anyway, he is only the President of the Royal College of Bloody Surgeons for Christ sake, that is all John.



F.

The Sun may well say that David Irvin should be stripped of his British Nationality, and sent to Cuba! there again, as the HM, er, media, bottled out bigstyle on publishing the cartoons recently, unlike the rest of Europe (including Austria for that matter), I think they should wind their necks in, and just concentrate on feeding the British Public the mundane never ending repetitive garbage (Free-Speech that my Grandads faught for) they obviously cannie get enough of, innit, some would say like my posts, there again, I can say what I like within reason, innit*


You know me:


Regards,


Fritz,


Great to see the personal insults flying around the cat pen again on certain other threads, it all looks so silly from a distance, makes me wonder sometimes how some chaps actually manage to change a plug fuse, without their partners help?* I knew a geezer once who'd been hit by a mine in a rover, in NI; the lads lovingly referred to him as toasty, as he'd been rather horribly burnt, aaaah, innit nice*