Office ethics

Posted by: Fisbey on 07 July 2006

A young girl works opposite me in the office and has taken to playing CD's and the radio. It's been going on for a while and apart from the fact I don't share her musical tastes - I feel it would have been courteous if she'd asked if I minded. I brought the matter up and she said because she was Swedish she din't really 'do please or thank you' I said I didn't give a monkeys

She's now apparently upset and has told me she doesn't know what to do and that I'm too grumpy, which I acknowledged but said it wasn't any excuse for her discourtesy. She's now even more upset.

Any advice?
Posted on: 07 July 2006 by andy c
Did your supervisor know of the stereo? does it detract from your work?

I may also refer you to the FF post regarding asking 'innocent' questions of this nature on forums, and it getting back to your place of work. Obviously your choice but a read of Fredricks post would not go amiss.

This is all about 'fairness at work'...
Posted on: 07 July 2006 by Fisbey
OK point taken, I would only like some suggestions as to how I can resolve the matter, I don't dislike the girl I just feel like I'm sitting next to someone with a walkman on...
Posted on: 07 July 2006 by u5227470736789439
Dear Andi,

Please can I emphasis that I made a mistake bring that point here, and that i would grateful if you would gently allow, as I posted, discretion to be the better part of valour , in the issue. I have read the points and the issue is resolved.

Fredrik

PS: This is not a suitable place for this sort of discussion and I shall not do so again, as kindness can indeed be potentially dangerous I would think...
Posted on: 07 July 2006 by joe90
Take in coffee and buns to work and share them with her - it's much easier to do something for a person you find kind and personable.

Sounds like in your original conversation you were more interested in being rude to her, because you felt wronged, in order to point out her rudeness (saying that you didn't give a 'monkeys' probably did the trick). She's Swedish but snarling trancends language barriers.

Dale Carnegie points out that most people never admit that they ever do anything wrong - and this girl is as inconsiderate as it gets - but that's not the point now.

Not all problems go away in the first go at it, keep trying. Be nice, exhaust all avenues until you've done everything you can reasonably be expected to do, then go ask the super's advice.

Me - I'd look to her gettting rid of the whole thing in about, oh, 5 coffees. Cheap resolution at twice the price, and you'll make a new friend.
Posted on: 07 July 2006 by Fisbey
OK Joe I take your point too - maybe I was rude and I hope the matter has now been resolved. I would say more but in some ways I would be trying to justify being rude - which I don't need to do.

I'll stop now.
Posted on: 07 July 2006 by joe90
Hey to some on this Forum I'm as rude as it gets, but I don't have to work with them so it's cool.

Try the coffee idea. You might find it will work splendidly.