The use of descriptive prose by a planning dept

Posted by: DAVOhorn on 22 December 2008

Dear All,

Here on the North Shore in Sydney all hell is breaking loose as the planning dept is trying to persuade the residents that 5000 new dwellings in blocks of units/appartments is what is needed.

So here we go:

Gordon where i live:

Shopping in the trees in a VIBRANT NEW TOWN CENTRE that is sheltered from noise and pollution with a view across the tree tops of Gordon, this means tightly packed developments of 5 and 6 storey appartment blocks and a 8-15 storey shopping/retail/commercial/residential buildings..

Lindfield:

A moulded soft landscape with a public square that is MORE INTIMATE, MORE ENCLOSED.

Roseville:

An exploration of passive design and density within a hybrid building framework. Its porous and permeable form, with pathways for breezes and sun, perfectly complements the bushland setting of Kuringai.

Pymble:

transform Pymble from the dead end model of house / suburbia into a fine grain hybrid development providing mutually supportive co- existence in a HETEROGENEROUS URBANITY, with a concomitant broadening of the public domain.

So for those of you versed in CORPORATE SPEAK can you please translate this load of testicles for idiots like me who fail to understand this tosh.

Oh yeah O Level English leads me to believe that Urbanity is derived from URBANE and not URBAN.

So the future looks bright for the residents who live in their comfortable dead end model homes and live in currently delightful dead end model of suburbia. And have no wish to sell up and move into fine grain hybrid developments. ie blocks of appartments.

Also why do all these Architecturally designed developments look like what a five year old would build with lego bricks. All these buildings being built use the wonderful material POURED CONCRETE which is usually painted a fetching shade of GREY.

OH well Ho HUM.

regards David

ps the house i am living in is ear marked for the building of 56 units within 5 years. Lucky neighbours, oh well there are already 150 units being built and about to be built on my road so another 50 will not spoil the road.
Posted on: 22 December 2008 by Lontano
David,

Some interesting descriptions! Any descriptions for Wahroonga?

One night when I was driving home up the Pacific Highway I counted all the new developments of apartments. I was amazed when I got up to something like 15/20 developments and that was just on the highway. There are plenty more being built in other areas of these suburbs as well. Makes you wonder if they will all sell.

Friends of ours in Wahroonga had a beautiful home on one of the best streets. They are now getting used to a big block of apartments having been built at the end of their back garden overlooking them.

With the space challenges in Sydney and a growing population I suppose this is one way to fit a few more in.

Hope you have a fun sunny Christmas. Forecast looks a little showery.

Cheers
Posted on: 22 December 2008 by 555
quote:
please translate

Happy to oblige Tony ...
quote:
VIBRANT NEW TOWN CENTRE

Lots of up to date graffiti.
quote:
MORE INTIMATE, MORE ENCLOSED.

Due to the economic downturn the developers will only build a small one.
quote:
HETEROGENEROUS URBANITY

Sophisticated sex easy available.
Posted on: 22 December 2008 by J.N.
Cold and breezy Suffolk sounding any more attractive David?

Get the hell outta there! We now have tarmaced roads and electricity in these here parts since you left the fair shores of Blighty.

Have a good Christmas. Best wishes.

John.
Posted on: 23 December 2008 by DAVOhorn
Dear John,

My parents sent me DVD on Norfolk and Suffolk and it brought a tear to my eye.

I had forgotten how attractive Gt Yarmouth sea front was.

The photos of the Lowestoft airshow is something i do miss.

Rural norfolk and suffolk are very beautiful and i would very much like a decent pint Of Adnams to be served from the cask in a loverly country pub. The aussies just dont get pubs and what they call warm beer.

It is raining here and we had a beaut storm the last couple of nights. Forecast is inclememt for the xmas holida so just like home.

Wishing you all a Very Merry X mas and a Happy New Year.

I may you get a decent piece of HiFi in your stocking from Santa.

regards David