Happy Birthday W.A. Mozart:

I think that's one starter for 10, innit!

'Red Red Wine Goes to my Head'

I can't tell the difference between a good red and a claret anyway? Good to see that the Hammers are finally starting to spend a few bob on players, careful lot down there, so they are*

Can't quite recall the English bird's name that did a brilliant BBC TV series on wines throughout the world a couple of years back. The one thing that did strike me as surprising though, were her comments about letting wine breathe for awhile before drinking, etc, basically, besides being a nice little ceremony, it's all a load of Bollocks, and has absolutely no bearing on the taste, etc, etc.

I trust this helps*

Fritz


Enjoying it all*

I must say 'Archie The slug' does seem quite a decent egg, I actually wouldn't mind being a member of his fan club, this slug could go far, I feel**


Fritz (prospective Archie The Slug Fan Club Member)


The coldest day I recall here in Berlin was in the early 80's working outside sanding boats, by a frozen windswept Havel-River, it was a fresh -34�C, and the flame on my lighter froze twice, as well as actually being able to break my beard (Honnist Guv). Today we have a beautiful clear blue sunny sky, fortunately windless, with a fresh -10�C/-12�C and it's a veritable summery feeling, innit*

I wonder if Archie studied Literature, before he became a famous internet Slug?

He definately looks like ex-Officer material to me too, Captain at least, (Guards I'd imagine, or possibly REME)



'For he's a Jolly Good Fellow, For he's a Jolly Good Fellow, For he's a Jolly Good Fe--eellow, and so Say all of us!' (Except Maybe Tarquers? who's 'Just a Jealous Guy' *

Nime, me old Trouper, I have it on good authority that Archie was thrice mentioned in Dispatches, and has the Military Cross to-boot, for his valour and bravery; ducking and diving into countless shellholes, with no thought for himself, only his 'Mates', and on top of all that, he's a top notch marksman as well, and absolute master with the old pellet gun & silencer, in enemy territory. Quite a formidable character I feel, and most worthy of a large fan base*

What a Star, how could such a Macho selfless Hero possibly be female I ask you in all honesty John?*** (§ Smileys) * (and one for luck)

quote:

Originally posted by Steve Toy:
The problem in the UK isn't so much levels of taxation but the fact that the government refuses to spend the money on anything useful like roads or doctors.

Instead they come up with either absurd logic as above or hairbrain schemes that meet targets without actually improving quality of service.

There was a problem with getting a doctor's appointment within a week (a problem that didn't exist until they came to power.) The fixed that problem by taking same-day appointments only so every morning at 8.30 am there is a mad scramble to the telephone in households across the land. Those that hear the engaged tone and fail to get an appointment at all are simply not recorded in the statistics.

Steve Old Bean, (Don't worry I don't expect an answer). The sooner the UK gets out of it's National 'Denial' that it's getting deeper and deeper into serious debt through PFI schemes to
supposedly fund all of these things that you mention, the better. Piffling trifles like waiting times for Doctors etc, aren't even scratching the surface, in contrast to the importance of reversing this 'Denial', Cameron won't mention it, as the NL'ites are digging their own political graves very nicely thank you, plus many Tories are benefitting from this 'Massive Missuse Of Taxpayers Money', in said schemes, I concure, I'm bored with repeating myself, and if it wasn't for my own family still living in the UK, to be honest I wouldn't give a monkey's toss anymore, mainly because of the sheer political apathy and blame/pass-the-buck/Greed Culture, which admittedly arose from Adolf Thatcher's briiliant manipulation of Our own selfishness, but has roller-balled nicely into a one way Cul De Sac of 'near-no return' YES THAT BAD�


Regards,

Fritz

Long live Archie The Slug (He trained Lightning Jack you know! Not a lotta people know that)*

2/3rds of all European Credit Card Debt (including new lands) is, er, British, think about it, it's a staggering indictment on personal money management, or rather lack of it, and when the bubble bursts (as it surely will) , unemployment over a million and constantly rising, things will get dirty as they always do, and it's 'I'm allright Jack, fuck you; all over again', and the 51st State will have nobody in �urope to blame, but will still 'very likely' try to pick a fight all the same, as a catalist for the unthinkable:

And No! I'm not crazy, just a little unwell, innit* and It's very difficult to love and admire a Country that doesn't respect itself, period!

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and
Women
PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?!
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal! again?
A: When the kids are in college.


"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to
everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.


TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.


AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

Innit:

Dear Fritz,

I am in the perhaps enviable possition of having no debt, beyond the cuurent business of not having paid the electric bill which came yesterday (and so on), but that does not reduce the risk of an economic colapse, cause the the idiosy of others affecting me when the bubble does burst. I am not sure even having a huge balance of saving would help that much, though I do not...

As you know I amn actually a real pessimist about the future, and no good has this done me in the past, as it has led me into excessive caution, but I do wonder how bloody awful a recession would be now given that both the USA and UK are as a whole living well beyond their means. It cannot go on forever...

On the last post, I remember once getting hauled into the office for a verbal warning to do with this. I was acting as line-head, as our real one was on holiday, but the team (8 women and 3 men) were not by any means trying! In fact it was the women playing up, so I asked then, "Are you having a collective period or not? What the Hell is wrong?" Oooops! Of course one of them had a complaint to make and I was hauled in and given a suitable dressing down, with the complainee witnessing! But at the end I was held back, and told, strictly off the record, that though this would have to be booked, it would be covered with a note saying that I was right in my exasperation, and only wrong in my method! After that they worked rather well, and we had no further nonesense. Was I proud of it? No - deeply embarassed by my outburst in fact, but I never had any trouble with them for all that.

Life is so strange sometimes. Fredrik

You were correctly berated Our Fredders, but do you mean that my own methods are wrong in some way?
Remember! I do not have an agenda of any sort, and enjoy the freedom to express myself, within my own self-imposed and the forum's written/unwritten borders so to spoke, innit*

Regards,

Fritz

If yer Muvver say's don't chew it, do yer swallow it in spite?***

Perhaps my 3 years of indefatigueability has been somehow stealthily saluted?**

But you know me John*

Of course when I buy next years IPOD model, it'll be out of date a fortnight later, though I do like the new trend of topping the tank up, instead of messing around with battery changes etc*

Dear Fritz,

Like you I have no agenda, and if you look at the smoking thread (sorry for that intrusion, here, a couple of days ago too, of which more below) no real arguements quite a lot of the time! I muddle through doing the best I can. If I would venture criticism in a general sense, I do it directly and the person is in no doubt of it, and in fairness even though I cannot claim to understand your threads always I enjoy what I do understand, so it's inconceivable that I would pick a fight with you!

No, I bumble through, even accidentally offending a few people who think I am subtler than I am - I don't get or practice sarcasm. Let me say that if I want to upset someone (very rare, but it does happen), then they are left in no doubt about it!

I am sorry for that exasperated post about the smoking thread. Actually, that I posted it on your thread, you may take as a compliment, not because I expected a support, but because I imagined that you might see it as me letting off steam in good company rather than plain whinging!

All the best from Fredrik

Naturally my approach to life makes me no friends in high places, though I get on well with those around me, right enough. Fredrik

Fredders! by critising me, you are in no way picking a fight, as you say. Practical constructive argument and critism is what it's all about Old Son (fun). No matter what I personally think of individuals, The House of Commons is a brilliant, & Civilised place, although I question the method of how the great minds and characters end up there in the first place though, and also of the speed perfectly good existing Laws are messed around with for hidden cronyistic agendas, subsequently wasting much valuable Parliamentary time (fox hunting for instance = 500 hours, against going to Iraq's 7). The smoking thread was interesting to a point, but the usual going around in repetitive circles, attemting to win egoistic smartie points, have no actual bearing in the real world. I am myself no worserer or more betterer than anybody else on here, and barring a little 'Virtual' silliness on occassion 'probably to liven things up for themselves (or self?), it's pretty balanced I feel. Me locked into my own little 'arrogant-egoistic' one-thread-Mr-Angry-of-Berlin-band, and the others trying to con free beers out of Our Adam on some others, now and again, (and why bloody not I ask myself) If you have a special favourite T-Shirt to wear, why not show it orf down the pub, and show everybody how much you paid for your hifi kit (While some jerk's hopefully not robbing you in the meantime*)

Regards,

Fritz


Who saw the Motherwell Goal then? What an absolute Beauty²² , and Congrats to Charlton Athletic too, for a most inspireing performance, againt the Giant Blues, wunnit*

Fernando showing his Old Hammers skills too, methinks** but what do I know?*

N.B.

Fredders, Don't ever go drinking with Our Deane (if he's still free that is), I feel you'd both have a very negative evening, innit*

But you know me*** (3 Smileys)

quote:

Originally posted by Berlin Fritz:

[...].

N.B.

Fredders, Don't ever go drinking with Our Deane (if he's still free that is), I feel you'd both have a very negative evening, innit*

But you know me*** (3 Smileys)

Dear Fritz,

In the real world I have a way of bringing the most negative of people out of their shells! Really I am great fun, and if I say I am not subtle, that would be me being as carefull to avoid it 'in print' as I can! In real life I find that laughing is far more fun than crying! Once I get to know a person, I torment quite terribly, but only once that person knows me well enough to know this is affection and not cleverness. I would make no guarantee that I could make Deane laugh though, but his being in NZ probably means I am more likely to win the Lottery than have an evening in the pub with him!

All the best from Fredrik

That's allright then Our Fredders, so long as yer Happy Son*

Fritz

Just announced: -21°C this evening, that's nearly a cold as the look one gets for reminding Our Mick, that it's his round at the Old Gluepot; Out of the door like a bullet, so he is (Jessie Owens wouldn't have a chance), 'Be back in a MO Chaps, just going to the hole in the wall:'

Next available flight to Malaga more like*

Dirty old business Politics, innit! such a shame to see the Liberal Demoocrats landing themselves right in the clag (again).*

Few more new Tory voters there then!



Fritz von Golden Cycles*


Enjoying it all:

Archie's got a new slug gun, I hear*

quote:

Originally posted by Stephen:
Just checked the listing for retailers, seems Dublin has moved to Northern Ireland or Northern Ireland has grown. Reminds me of when i'd read the Guardian and they'd list news from the 26 counties of Ireland on the Home news pages.
Did 1916, 1918, 1921 never happen?
It was part of the empire you lost. Remember that.

So somebody who just so happens to have a few tens of thousands of Northern Irish Banknotes to spare, might make a killing then?


Regards,

Fritz


Apparently that Old 'S & G' Classic 'I am a rock' is doing very well in the Russian Charts at the moment!***

I bet we'll be having a new run of Commitments Mania, over Mr Pickets early demise?

Check out the New John McEnroe 'Seat' ad, it's quite good actually, innit, or outit!*

Anyway, as a result of Fritz suggesting I ought to broaden my horizons and wind my neck in, I'm off back to school today?!?

quote:

Originally posted by andy c:
Anyway, as a result of Fritz suggesting I ought to broaden my horizons and wind my neck in, I'm off back to school today?!?

Have a nice day John, and don't forget yer apple now*

Regards,


Fritz

QUOTE]Originally posted by JamieWednesday:

quote:

Wat fuck is u kerels die spreken over?

K�mmern Sie sich um Ihre Sprache!!! [/QUOTE]

As the French say John, innit!*


Fritz von Berlin bus drivers are learning English for the World Cup, as I'm sure the Londoners will do later as well for the Olympics, yes English, proper spoke, like what i does**


Latest Russian Chart Toppers:

1. Rock Around the Clock
2. I am a Rock
3. Rockin Robin.
4. Rock me Rock me Rock me Baby.
5. Solid as a Rock.



Pop Pickers Guys & Gals***

Favourite Boxing Filum, Yes you've guessed it 'Raging Bull:' starring Vladimir the Ex KGB Man from St Petersburg, and his trainer Boris.

BBC Monitoring, the Caversham-based service that scrutinizes thousands of foreign radio broadcasts on behalf of the BBC, the Ministry of Defence, British intelligence services, and the CIA, has had its funding reviewed by its new master, the Cabinet Office.

Formerly run by the Foreign Office, Caversham provided "open source intelligence" in the war against terror - information that was highly prized by for its rawness and lack of Downing Street spin. Despite howls of protests from desk officers and analysts at the FO and MI6, Caversham's budget has now been cut by �2 Million, losing 80 posts and ending the monitoring of radio broadcasts from boring places where nothing of interest ever happens - such as the former Soviet Union and the whole of Africa. Monitoring partner, the CIA's Foreign Broadcast Information Service, with an office in Caversham, is also under financial review. The CIA's secrecy requirements make it impossible for it to admit that that FBIS is also facing cuts, but staff at Caversham have told the Eye that they are no longer able to have access to FBIS translations because they are no longer being made.

Handheld Issue (1150: Jan/Feb 2006)


P.S.

Hardly surprising Really I suppose with an annual UK Police Bill of �11 Billion, got to draw the line on priorities somewhere havent you?

Fritz

N.B. I think the Daily Star, Mirror & Sun, did far more in depth reports into this subject, but that's only speculation mind, innit?*



Eeee By Gum Lad!***

Archie The Hero came to mind for some strange reason?

Betreff: Proud to be a man

1. OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it
effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's
work.

2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.

3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Julian Dicks
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle?

5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -
noisy destruction.

6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards
the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles
to catch up with you. You're hard.

7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8. HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron
burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they
just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness,
sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.

10. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moment's eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says,
"but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11. USING POWER TOOLS - Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that
Becks, I kick so hard I set off! car alarms.

13. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're
popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub
doesn't know that.

14. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15. CARVING THE ROAST - And saying "are you a leg or breast man?" to the
blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women. Congratulations, you are
now your dad.

16. WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - Ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18. TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - Okay, so its for paying the plumber
later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - Unlike birds, we get straight
to the point. "Alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See
ya."

20. PARALLEL PARKING - Bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you
the worlds best driver.

21. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the
fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in
silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the
other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - Especially if you didn't make
a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips? For that? Are you mad,
bint?"

24. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's right,
I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo.

25. CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - And punching him on the shoulder. Just a
man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in
hospital".

innit*

Just happened to chance upon a wonderful, long handled teak back-brush, with leather hanging strop, so that'll save a fair bit of the old elbow grease in having to fashion my own one then, wunnit*

I don't what it's called in Dutch though?*

Old Scrubber Fritz!

I'm going to have to get a translator in soon to understand some of the recent posts on here, but there again! now that England's finally in €urope at long last, I suppose it had to come in the end dinnit? I mean we're all just a bunch of love thy neighbour Internationalists at heart aren't we!***

Pressed very late in the season: Spät (meaning late) , this is an excellent wine, quite pricey, and fairly diificult to get hold of, and definately far too good to be exported to a bunch of bloody Hoch slurpin Engländers, innit*

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