For Tarquin - The good wife's guide

Posted by: seagull on 15 February 2006

The following are extracts from Housekeeping Monthly 1955 found by Mrs S. in a parish magazine she picked up in the pub where we had a very pleasant Valentine's Day meal.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people!
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum cleaner. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him and the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late for dinner, or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need of a home in which to relax.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity.
Remember, he is the master of the house and. as such, he will exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by Rasher

I'm afraid that the "1955 good little wife" routine would be wasted on me. How could have anyone had any respect for someone that shows no respect for themselves!! Thank God the world has changed from those days. Makes me shudder to think of it.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by erik scothron

quote:
Originally posted by seagull:
The following are extracts from Housekeeping Monthly 1955 found by Mrs S. in a parish magazine she picked up in the pub where we had a very pleasant Valentine's Day meal.

Excellent, well done indeed! I shall be e-mailing this to SWMBO - personally I think it's the least she could do.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by spartacus

After reading this article my wife said "I can't read any more of this or I'll be late for my night out with the boys! Tesco always sell off their sandwiches cheap at the end of a day so if you want anything to eat you know where to find it!"

That's why we have been together 23 years.... Now I can listen to my music in peace while she's out.

By the way, we decided to leave the kids with mucky faces until they could sort it out themselves... Saves a lot of listening time.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana

Gosh.
It's like a "rudolf hess's wife manual".

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by Steve Bull

quote:

Be a little gay

I like this bit and will be having words with Mrs Steve immediately

Seriously though, it's amazing how this seems to be from a totally different world. Would any of our erm... more mature members care to tell us if 1955 was really like that?

Steve.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana

quote:
Would any of our erm... more mature members care to tell us if 1955 was really like that?

Steve.

I'm from '66 but i don't think so.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by seagull

Tee hee, I nearly put a smiley there

2006 - The reality...

Have dinner ready Plan ahead, order the takeaway to be delivered soon after he arrives home. Ensure you have ordered the pizza with extra chilli. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Pour yourself that second G&T. Take 15 minutes to chill so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, make sure your lippy isn't smudged and your hair does't look like you've just got up.

Be a little gay Hmmm, well be a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Throw all the kids toys and your magazines, empty gin bottles and chocolate bar wrappers in the nearest cupboard just before your husband arrives.

Prepare the children. Give them their final warning that if they don't stop fighting then Daddy will sort them out when he gets home.

Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, Turn down the TV and yell at the children to shut up.

Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm snarl and show that you're glad he's come home, at last.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him and the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him dig himself into a hole first - remember his excuses had better be good.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late for dinner, or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, wait until the morning, when he is sober and give him hell then and make him really suffer on top of his hangover.

Arrange his pillow but not over his face - yet, wait until he sinks into an alcohol induced stupor.

Ask him questions about his actions and question his judgment or integrity.
Remember, he thinks he is the master of the house and. as such, he will try and exercise his will with selfishness and fairness and halftruths. You have every right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place. and a good divorce lawyer.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by erik scothron

quote:
Originally posted by seagull:
Tee hee, I nearly put a smiley there

2006 - The reality...

[

Excellent Seagull, good effort!

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by Nime

What you young people are patently missing is the clear understanding that such wives were rigidly bound to the home. They were extremely unlikely to own a car themselves. Or waste their lives away watching TV. Shopping was local and much quicker than modern supermarkets. Cooking, doing the washing, ironing, nursing, darning, repairing, painting and decorating, gardening, cleaning and child-rearing were a serious business. Women have always excelled at the multi-tasking, memory and manual skills required. Which is why they usually make much better managers today.

Posted on: 15 February 2006 by erik scothron

quote:
Originally posted by Nime:
What you young people are patently missing is the clear understanding that such wives were rigidly bound to the home. They were extremely unlikely to own a car themselves. Or waste their lives away watching TV. Shopping was local and much quicker than modern supermarkets. Cooking, doing the washing, ironing, nursing, darning, repairing, painting and decorating, gardening, cleaning and child-rearing were a serious business. Women have always excelled at the multi-tasking, memory and manual skills required. Which is why they usually make much better managers today.

Nime,

Very true in my view.

Erik

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by BigH47

There was no daytime TV in the '50s & '60s. When it was on only 2 or 3 channels. Very little in the way of convenience foods and no MD or BK. Fish and chips or the Wimpy. So the poor little dears just had to clean and cook.

H

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by Rasher

They did have Fanny Craddock.

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by monkfish

But did their doughnuts turn out like Fanny's.

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by Gianluigi Mazzorana

quote:
Originally posted by Nime:
What you young people are patently missing is the clear understanding that such wives were rigidly bound to the home.

That's true Nime.
My grandmother consumed herself in the house and never had entertaiments till the day she left.
My mother shows the same devotion.
Now i think that '55 manual is extreme, but the real things were and are not so far from it.

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by Roy T

quote:
A good wife always knows her place. and a good divorce lawyer.

Couldn't agree more.

quote:
Insurance millionaire and ex-wife dispute division of assets
By Nikki Tait, Law Courts Correspondent
Published: February 15 2006 02:00 | Last updated: February 15 2006 02:00

For John Charman, the insurance millionaire, and his former wife, Valentine's day marked the opening of one of Britain's biggest divorce settlement cases.

At issue in the case at the High Court in London is the financial support that should be granted to Beverley Charman after the couple's 29-year marriage was formally ended last year.

According to a Court of Appeal judgment made public as a result of a preliminary issue in the case last December, Mrs Charman is claiming up to half of a £126m pool of assets built up by her former husband during the time they were married. Included in that is a Bermuda-based discretionary trust, known as Dragon.

Her former husband contends that the relevant assets to be divided are worth just £59m. In addition, Mr Charman - who made his fortune in the London insurance market and is a former deputy chairman of Lloyd's of London - is expected to argue that "whatever their size, the wife should be awarded substantially less than an equal share of the relevant assets by virtue of his exceptional contribution to their creation", the appeal court judges said.

The Charman case is being closely watched by specialists because of the current uncertainty that surrounds divorce. In particular, there is interest in the extent to which high-earning husbands are obliged to divide assets with their former wives.

The House of Lords is considering this issue in the context of two other test cases involving City figures: Ken McFarlane, a Deloitte tax partner, and Alan Miller, a fund manager. A number of other divorce settlement cases are believed to be in the pipeline, waiting on the results.

Apart from its size, a distinguishing feature of the Charman case is that the difference between the £126m pool of assets that Mrs Charman seeks to divide and the £59m suggested by her husband is represented by the Dragon trust assets. The earlier preliminary proceedings meant Mrs Charman and her lawyers were entitled to access to some more material about the trust.

Family lawyers said yesterday that the case had thrown a spotlight on the need for care when utilising offshore trusts and other vehicles. Christopher Butler, family law partner at Speechly Bircham, the City law firm, said: "This is yet another 'big money' case that brings into stark relief the issues that are facing divorcing couples with assets held offshore in sophisticated structures."

He added: "It shows how important it can be, when you are trying to protect offshore wealth, to choose with great care the appropriate jurisdiction to house such structures."

http://news.ft.com/cms/s/ee78a700-9dc7-11da-b1c6-0000779e2340.html

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by u5227470736789439

If the lady had been Mr Charman's wife, for 29 years, then she has probably contributed just as much as he did in a very crucial way - that of support and friendship. 29 years is a long time... Behind every successful man is a successful woman. The outcome will be interesting.

Fredrik

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by lowdean

Actually rings pretty true for Japanese wives, though things may have changed since I was there.

Lowdean

Posted on: 16 February 2006 by Steve Toy

I wouldn't want a 50s wife. She'd have to be a lying bitch with a false smile amounting to a grimace and chipped teeth from all their being gritted.

A good marriage is surely based on teamwork that works with each others' respective weaknesses and strengths. And complete honesty.

Posted on: 17 February 2006 by Rasher

I went home last night and gave her a list of the new rules and said I expected them to be put into action beginning next Monday. She agreed wholeheartedly that the traditional role of the wife would create harmony within the household and that she would comply. I guess that stays in force now and cannot be reversed as she is not permitted to speak to me unless spoken to first, and I shan't be speaking to her except to issue instructions.
The children started to complain that they had to be lined up for inspection by the front door when I got home each evening, but I just said:
"Chaps, There is no point in moaning, the rules have changed. Stop whinging & live with it."
That should do the trick.
...must go, she wants her breakfast and I'm late for the school run.

Posted on: 17 February 2006 by domfjbrown

quote:
Originally posted by BigH47:So the poor little dears just had to clean and cook.

...and in those days, a single wage would mean that the wife being at home meant it was only fair that she should do her own share at earning her keep.

I don't see there's anything un-PC in that. One of my friends has the lucky situation of having a very minimal mortgage, and his wife doesn't need to work. Neither of them have any kids. It's only right that she should keep the place clean and tidy and cook meals if he's had to work all day to pay for her to be at home.

Of course, if you AND your partner work, it's only fair that you share the chores and the costs. They want equality so they have to work. All IMHO of course.

Posted on: 17 February 2006 by Roy T

In the fifties it may well have needed only one wage to keep a home going but those days have long since passed for most people.

Posted on: 19 February 2006 by Fraser Hadden

A few posts back, someone raised this "women are better at multi-tasking" chestnut.

Is there any evidence for this? Is it not that men prefer to make a major balls of things sequentially while women make a minor balls of a number of things more-or-less simultaneously?

Fraser

Posted on: 19 February 2006 by Nime

Hi Fraser

That somebody was me.

Do a websearch for <men women brains multitasking>

Regards

Posted on: 20 February 2006 by Steve Toy

Women are better at multitasking. If you deny this fact (as one would the holocaust*) you aren't exactly playing to the feminists' gallery at all.

*For the purposes of political expediency if nothing, and I mean nothing, else.

Posted on: 21 February 2006 by domfjbrown

quote:
Originally posted by Roy T:
In the fifties it may well have needed only one wage to keep a home going but those days have long since passed for most people.

...which is what I said in my post, in a roundabout way.

Mind you, if you won't AND can't afford the house prices and could care less about reproducing, I think you'll find you don't need a wifey to get by in life.