Story for DrMark:

Yeah, we pharmacists are a laugh a minute...that's the kind of thing you can pretty much only get away with in independent practice.  In the big chains you're supposed to be an overworked bot...with all the realness of a Stepford wife.

I'm sure you must have heard the one about the guy who went to the doctor.  The doctor said: "This is a very serious situation.  What have you done so far?" 

"Well," the patient replied, "I went to my pharmacist." 

"And what stupid advice did that ****ing idiot give you?" the doctor asked.

"He told me to come see you," the patient said.

I believe that Thalidomide later found a use in the treatment of leprosy.

A friend of mine travelling in Germany detected the beginnings of a cold sore and promptly visited a local chemist.  After much misunderstanding between himself and the chemist (he spoke no German) all became clear and a  request from the chemist to the assistant was shortened to a loud call accross the store 'HERPES' whilst pointing at my friends face.....nice.  G

Spike Milligan recounts a similar tale in one of his numerous volumes of autobiography. A friend was in Boots in Piccadilly Circus and asked for some gentian violet lotion. After numerous questions over the counter from the Pharmacist he had to declare "I need it 'cos I've got bloody crabs!"

The gentleman in question was an RSM and was able to make his voice for several miles!!!!

Jono

Jono: Why would a Removable Storage Manager be any louder than anyone else?

Russ

Regimental Sargent Major - The loudest man in the army. A friend's father was one in the Royal Artillery during the last war and you could hear him over anything.

Jono

The pharmarcy stories remind me of a visit many many years ago. Having woken up on a saturday morning with a pounding headache (self inflicted from the night before) to find no headache pills in the house a trip to the local pharmarcy was required. At the pharmacy I asked the young and attractive assistant for some headache pills not mentioning a brand, she promptly put a large box on the counter and asked which one I wanted. I looked into the box and found it was full of different varieties of condoms, somewhat confused I turned to her and asked which one would she recommend for a headache. She looked at me and went a very bright shade of red before turning round grabbing some nurofen and telling me to pay at the counter as she quickly ran and hid behind the stores area, Never saw her again on my visits there!

Jono: I figured it was military in nature.  I've heard of those guys--they make our marines look like Mary Poppins.  Well, maybe not. 

Not pharmacutical in nature, but many years ago, in high school, I worked in a grocery store with a kid who was born in Mexico and had a great command of English to go along with a very thick accent which he used as humorously as he could.  He was a real imp--Tony was his name.  We had some nuns and a Mother Superior who came in to buy really high end groceries.  On one occasion, he picked up a number 16 paper bag, which you ordinarily would put one or two dozen eggs in and asked the Mother Superior: "Sister, would you like to carry your eggs separately?"  When she reached for it with a puzzled expression, two boxes of Tampax fell out.

Another time--Tony again and the same Mother Superior.  These were the early days when grocery stores in Texas were first selling live lobsters.  The sisters (unlike Mother Teresa, they ate VERY well) sen Tony back for one.  Tony came up to the front of the store with the lobster--a big fellow, one of whose claws had come undone.  It immediately clamped down on Tony's hand, drawing blood and causing Tony to scream at the top of his lungs: "Goddamn sonofabitch", followed by suggesting in Spanish that the Lobster could have an illicit sexual liaison with its own mother."  The nuns all gasped and Tony adopted his most sheepish grin and said: "Sister, I think you ought to put him in a double bag?"

Russ

and some haematological disorders too.