This is exactly how LPs should be treated, Shortly before putting them in the bin.

I'm too emotional to respond with any clarity of thought...

erm erm . I think he is barking mad.

lets put the record on the work surface while we clean the album cover and inner sleeve. lets blow some gooy yukky saliva into the inner sleeve.

lets wash the album in a petroleum based detergent at a luke warm temp. lets agitate the dirt on the surface of the album , and we will ignore the dirt and crap etc etc in the grooves.

Lets rinse it in calcium laden water so that when the water dries we have very minute levels of calcium in the groves on top of the now moist crap that is in the grooves that has not been removed. Lets polish the surface of the disc with a cloth. Don't worry about the micro dust in the fibres they will not spoil the surface of the album just go into the groove and join the calcium and crap already in the groove. Now lets really buff up the surface of the album and put some really nice micro scratches onto the surface of the album. And there you have. a nice shiny surface and you cannot see the micro scratches that I have added.

Also I have not removed any of the 35 year old crap from the grooves of the album , but I have added some calcium and micro fibres from the cloths.

Hey dave how do you clean your albums?

Well I use a simple carbon micro fibre brush to remove the dust from the grooves and I use a really high quality plastic inner sleeve. Also the stylus usually gets the crap out of the groove each time I play an album and I carefully get the crap off the stylus with my sexy squirrel hair brush. Also I do not lay my albums down on a hard kitchen work surface, and I don't scratch the surface with cloths.

And the albums sound pretty damned fine. Why do you ask?

Well my stylus is really badly covered in a sticky gloop and the surface noise is real bad.

David

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

No no no no no no!!!

Got to be a spoof - please surely, it must be, oh god I hope so......

Sound like you need a decent RCM.

@rodwsmith,

I don't doubt that after applying a dilute beef broth solution to the LP your avatar could lick it clean. Possibly to better effect than the holey dishrag.

Dear Poul,

I was teasing a bit!

I think all recordings should be treated with respect and the best ones deserve to be listened to for many decades. Such as the Elgar recorded legacy between 1914 and 1934 for HMV ... They become real artistic and cultural references of their time, and so prevent mythologies developing!

Best wishes from George

George,

Imagine if Beethoven had had a gramophone. We'd know how his symphonies were truly intended to be performed.

Don't knock it to you've tried it chaps, that's what I say! (no, I haven't...)

Vinyl Lovers Look Away NOW!

Trust me, I have averted my gaze so many times from this post, yet somehow I cannot help but respond

Dear Joe,

I would love to have recordings of Bach improvising on the pipe organ! Priceless that would be!

As you say the mystery surrounding old and mythologised performance practice in the era before recordings is one of the great questions in terms of accurately researching the older styles.

But the research is massive and continues. Musicology is major activity and has brought many understandings of the correct styles for the older periods of music.

ATB from George

George,

Interpretation is all part of the art is it not? As a pop/rock fan I find it rather droll when someone covers a song in the same manner as the original. The Beatles "Got To Get You Into My Life" was fantastic, but so too was the soulful/jazzy cover by Earth Wind and Fire. 

Dear Joe,

Even before the revolution of performing old music in consciously Historiclly Informed Performances [HIP as it is often shorten to] there were stylish performances that have stood the test of time, simply because the performer was able to make a stylish performance by musical talent and intuition.

There is a big difference between Rock and Pop music compared to classical [used in the generic rather than specific meaning] music. In Rock and Pop a cover is almost like a re-arrangement, and is rarely very similar to the first version. In classical music, the aim is to bring out the music in a way that would be recognised and appreciated by the composer. This does not mean that classical music interpretation is rigid or stylistically narrow, but rather it does have a certain aim that is very focussed.

ATB from George

Agreed, George! Rock and pop is definitely more artistic!

Dear Joe

It may well be argued that Rock and Pop is more artistic on the level of re-creative aspects in performance. At least in some cases ...

The classically trained artist is extensively schooled to treat the source - the music on the stand - as sacrosanct in terms of artistic freedom to make even fairly small changes in performance. You could call that a straight-jacket on artistry, but in reality it is not.

There are great artists who make exactly no modifications to the text and yet produce compelling and memorable performances that if recorded do not become legendary so much as long lived in the real world of people still listening.

For example, though there are many technically better recordings since, Clara Haskil [who died more than fifty years ago] is still to be heard playing Mozarrt Piano Concertos and Sonatas in performances that have that unlikely combination of striking re-creative genius as well as a complete faithfulness to the text.

The list of great classical re-creative artists who have made durable recordings is long and pleasing! Never have we had such a choice of great recorded performances of the great classical pieces than now as the new competes with the old, and just sometimes the old remains un-eclipsed!

In other cases the new is clearly more faithful and pleasing with respect to the text. I doubt if most people nowadays wanting a recording of Handel's Messiah would be looking back to the epic style of performance common on recordings from forty or more years ago. The new style of lithe and muscular and expertly played and sung more chamber scale performances now to be found in recordings simply serves the music better. Sometimes dry Musicology pays dividends!

ATB from George

Backfromoz: lovin' it! In a kinda masochistic sort of way.