Peter@Cymbiosis
Posted by: jon h on 18 March 2014
(I hope PaulS and Dougy will allow this to stay here, given its the most popular forum hereabouts)
I was contacted early this morning by Peter Swain of Cymbiosis with tragic news. He asked me to post here.
"Jon, I felt I needed to let you know that Jane took her own life on Sunday. She had been suffering with a little depression for the last year and was taking mild medication. She had never shown any signs of self harming and she was surrounded by a close and loving family.
We are devastated. She seemed so good last week when I went to Switzerland for five days work and she went to visit her parents in Salisbury, she sounded fine when I called her there and her parents say that she was good too, if maybe a little quiet.
She left them on Saturday, came home and spoke to my Mum on Sunday morning, in advance of seeing her in the evening for dinner.
When she didn’t turn up or answer the phones, Mum called the Police who called and entered our house, finding Jane dead. By the time I got home from Heathrow, the Police had tidied up the scene in the bedroom and had taken some letters she wrote and other materials, I guess the tablets she used.
They allowed me to spend some time with her cuddling her before her body was taken to Kettering General. I am devastated. Tom and Nikki equally so. They are both being very strong for me.
They are everything to me.
Peter"
Jane, his wife, was from Salisbury and kept her maiden name of Shellabear. Her parents still live in Salisbury and the family have many contacts there.
Our hearts go out to him, his family and staff in this most difficult of times. I know the Naim family will support him as best we can.
Jon
Posted on: 21 March 2014 by Ian Jones
God bless you Peter, thinking of you.
Posted on: 21 March 2014 by Simon Michael Atkin
My thoughts are with you Peter, such terribly sad news.
Posted on: 21 March 2014 by intothevoid
Feeling quite choked reading all thee posts. A tragic loss.
May your God be with you and your family.
steve
Posted on: 21 March 2014 by Cymbiosis
Originally Posted by blythe:
Mental health issues are often misunderstood by the general public, yet many, many people suffer from this illness in silence.
blythe, you are so right. Jane never let on to me, the rest of the family, friends or health professionals her darkest thoughts. Nobody imagined she would ever do this. The only reason I know is from the letters she left for me beautifully written with no hint of stress in her handwriting... I struggled even to write my own name for the first couple of days. She has found her peace.
This is why I feel it's important at my time of greatest loss, that I/we talk openly about what happened in the hope that it could benefit others in some way.
Peter
Posted on: 21 March 2014 by robert-
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by PureReader
I don't know you personally, but just like other forum members I have been pleasantly impressed by the informative and kind-hearted nature of your contributions. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by Exiled Highlander
Peter
I can't imagine the grief that you and your family must be going through at this time but I would like to add my condolences to those of the others.
Regards
Jim
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by Lightkeeper
I don't know you personally Peter, but I would like to add my condolences too. Be strong for your children. This is most important.
Ozren and Izidora
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by Timbo
Dear Peter:
My sincere condolences for your loss. You show great strength in your recent postings and I hope that continues with the support of your loved ones. Reading through all of the messages I am privileged to be a member of such a thoughtful and supportive group of people.
Tim
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by djh1697
Peter,
The boys in the shop mentioned that your wife had passed away, I was unaware of the circumstances.
My thoughts are with you all, I can come by the shop if you need to talk to someone? or a shoulder to cry on? I too have dealt with death and attempted suicide in the past.
Keep busy, it will help take your mind off things.
Regards
David Haslett
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by likesmusic
Peter, I don't know you, but I feel for you and your grief.
A while ago I found a support group online called "Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide". Perhaps at some point you might want to make contact.
http://www.uk-sobs.org.uk/index.htm
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by SS250
Peter,
I am extremely sorry for your tragic loss.
May I recommend Cruse Bereavement Counselling. They operate locally to you and they have been incredibly helpful to myself and my family.
All the very best to you
.
Simon Scholes
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by DrMark
May I add to that the web site of a college buddy of mine whose son also took his own life; it is US based but there is information there as well that may be helpful. Brian (the father) just passed a few months ago himself; the first of our "crew" from undergrad to do so.
Here is the site: http://www.joshsjourney.com/
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by AudioOrigami
So so sorry, for you and family Peter !
my heart goes out to you at this time
j7
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by mista h
Dear Peter
I would just like to offer my condolenses to you and your 2 children at what is a very tough time you.
The main thing now is for you and your children to support each other.
Alan hemingway(Mista h)
Posted on: 22 March 2014 by shoot6x7
Few words from me could ever ease your pain Peter, but please know I'm thinking of you and your family and hope you can find a path through this.
Posted on: 23 March 2014 by ray davis
sorry to hear this, sending my condolences . Ray
Posted on: 23 March 2014 by Rob T
So very sorry to hear of your sad loss Peter, my deepest sympathy and condolences go out to you and your family at this time. Rob
Posted on: 24 March 2014 by living in lancs yearning for yorks
I cannot say how sorry Helen and I were to hear of your loss, Peter. Sending you our best wishes and condolences. Tim
Posted on: 24 March 2014 by Tabby cat
My deepest sympathy Peter to you and your family at this sad time.
Best wishes Ian
Posted on: 24 March 2014 by PBod
This is my first ever post on this site, the news is tragic, words cannot fully convey both myself and my wife very deepest sympathies to you Peter and your family. Paul and Michelle
Posted on: 24 March 2014 by Maxi Me
Peter
Along with everyone else, my deepest sympathies.
Seth
Posted on: 24 March 2014 by djh1697
I would like to post a link from the Cymbiosis website
http://www.justgiving.com/Janeshellabear
Tom is under taking a fund raiser for MIND, the mental health charity, there is a link to donate at the bottom of the article, a worthwhile cause
Posted on: 24 March 2014 by Dungassin
Very sad news from Peter. My deepest condolences
Posted on: 25 March 2014 by Cymbiosis
Thank you all for your comments and support.
Thank you David for posting the link above. We cannot sit on our hands, we have to help.
What this last week has taught me, is that the problem is just so much bigger than I'd ever imagined as generally it get's swept under the carpet allot of the time............ Not this time.
Peter
