Coldplay's new album: A measured view

Posted by: Kevin-W on 19 May 2014

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages:

 

http://thequietus.com/articles...ghost-stories-review

 

Disclaimer: it was written by an old mate of mine, David Stubbs (the most mild-mannered chap you could ever wish to meet), who used to write the hilarious Mr Agreeable column in the Melody Maker back in the late 1980s/early '90s). The asterisks are intentional, by the way.

Posted on: 19 May 2014 by hungryhalibut

Hmm, not sure about the review, but Coldplay have always been drivel and this new instalment sounds like it's no different. Who likes this stuff?

Posted on: 19 May 2014 by Dan43

Well not his thing then, nor mine, Coldplay are pretty benign, still they are pretty well off for such turgid music, if pound notes is your barometer to measure talent by

Hey ho. 

Posted on: 19 May 2014 by Tony2011

Oh, brother where art thou? Had  to reach for my inhaler.   Could not stop laughing! 

Posted on: 19 May 2014 by Jasonf

Wow, that some review!

 

You've got to admire his f***ing balls.

 

Jason.

Posted on: 19 May 2014 by George J

Can you imagine the torture of having pop music radio on all the time at work!

 

I cannot ignore music, but I can detest it, because it is depressing!

 

I'd prefer silence in the workplace.

 

I am dreading the inevitable involuntary shower of the new Coldplay recordings that must now commence ...

 

ATB from George

Posted on: 19 May 2014 by Jeff Anderson
Originally Posted by Hungryhalibut:

Hmm, not sure about the review, but Coldplay have always been drivel and this new instalment sounds like it's no different. Who likes this stuff?

I do.  Listened to it this afternoon and enjoyed it.  But then your question was rhetorical, right.  Go figure. 

 

You all should feel much better about yourselves at the end of the day.

 

Good listen'

Jeff A

Posted on: 19 May 2014 by Jota
Originally Posted by George J:

Can you imagine the torture of having pop music radio on all the time at work!

 

I cannot ignore music, but I can detest it, because it is depressing!

 

I'd prefer silence in the workplace.

 

I am dreading the inevitable involuntary shower of the new Coldplay recordings that must now commence ...

 

ATB from George

 

A place I worked at years ago had radio one on all day long and it was the time when Bryan Adams hit (pretty sure there a letter 's' missing there) 'Everything I do, I do it for you' was number one......

 

.....for 16 fecking torturous weeks.  Radio one played it at least 8 times during the day, every day, and it very nearly cost me my sanity. 

 

That convinced me radio's should be banned from the workplace.  Either that or punching people should be made legal.

 

On the guys review of Coldplay...nailed it.

Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Bert Schurink

I listened to it yesterday through spotify and I liked what I heard. Only risk is that realy good music I almost never like in the first spin. This is the type of music which is easy to like but will actually never end up on your 10 for an Island list....

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by Bruce Woodhouse
Originally Posted by Kevin-W:

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages:

 

http://thequietus.com/articles...ghost-stories-review

 

Disclaimer: it was written by an old mate of mine, David Stubbs (the most mild-mannered chap you could ever wish to meet), who used to write the hilarious Mr Agreeable column in the Melody Maker back in the late 1980s/early '90s). The asterisks are intentional, by the way.


I am an old fart. That review would be significantly improved by removing the profanity. No less funny and a lot easier to read.

 

As for the album and the band, a fair degree of 'tall poppy syndrome' methinks. They don't do it for me but I thought they were quite good at the Olympic (closing?) ceremony.

 

Paltrow's pseudo-scientific hogwash makes me groan. Not a reason to hate her de-coupled other half's music though.

 

Bruce

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by tonym

Perhaps my sense of humour has deserted me, but that "review" is absolute cr*p. The sort of thing a 12-year old might write I suppose, to be giggled at by schoolboys.

 

I personally don't like Coldplay (I've never heard this album to be fair either) but it seems all this vitriol's heaped on them because it's trendy to do so.

 

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by Bruce Woodhouse

A more reasoned review. Still pretty critical.

 

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/a...dplay-ghost-stories/

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by rodwsmith
Originally Posted by tonym:

Perhaps my sense of humour has deserted me, but that "review" is absolute cr*p. The sort of thing a 12-year old might write I suppose, to be giggled at by schoolboys.

 

I personally don't like Coldplay (I've never heard this album to be fair either) but it seems all this vitriol's heaped on them because it's trendy to do so.

 

+1

 

I don't think that Ghost Stories is their best record by a long way though (listened only three times though). Somehow, his voice and angst seem to collide into something genuinely whiney. When he was happy it sounded fine.

 

I'v e no idea why it is fashionable to hate the popular (and purely for being popular - they are very talented musicians and song-writers). Seems more sensible to hate people who jump on the hatred bandwagon, especially via the mechanism of hastily written puerile nonsense that can't have taken twenty minutes to do (even assuming they were wanking at the same time - which seems like a very safe assumption indeed).

At the very least 'Ghost Stories' took a long time to write, record and produce, and the artwork is beautifully done too.

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by Kevin-W

I think people should lighten up a bit.

 

The reason why Coldplay get it in the neck is that:

1. They're a worthy (if rather easy) target, a bit like Sting, Phil Collins or Bono

2. They're popular

 

This is nothing to do with it being fashionable to attack Coldplay. There's no point in taking the piss out of groups that nobody's heard, or heard of, is there?

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by George J

a bit like Sting, Phil Collins or Bono

 

 

Passed their sell-by date ... a bit like Sting, Phil Collins or Bono ...?

 

ATB from George

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by Kevin-W
Originally Posted by George J:

a bit like Sting, Phil Collins or Bono

 

 

Passed their sell-by date ... a bit like Sting, Phil Collins or Bono ...?

 

ATB from George

Nah, just overweening, and shite.

Posted on: 27 May 2014 by Tony2011
Originally Posted by Kevin-W:

I think people should lighten up a bit.

 

The reason why Coldplay get it in the neck is that:

1. They're a worthy (if rather easy) target, a bit like Sting, Phil Collins or Bono

2. They're popular

 

This is nothing to do with it being fashionable to attack Coldplay. There's no point in taking the piss out of groups that nobody's heard, or heard of, is there?


Ok, Kev. I can just about listen to Coldplay on a rainy day after a couple of bottles of scotch  and an argument with a girfriend. I forgive PC because he is actually a very good drummer. But the other

two make a serious case for a suicide bid!Sorry ol' pal.

Posted on: 29 May 2014 by Big Bill
Originally Posted by Kevin-W:

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages:

 

http://thequietus.com/articles...ghost-stories-review

 

Disclaimer: it was written by an old mate of mine, David Stubbs (the most mild-mannered chap you could ever wish to meet), who used to write the hilarious Mr Agreeable column in the Melody Maker back in the late 1980s/early '90s). The asterisks are intentional, by the way.

Reading the review I could tell he was much more positive about their new 'fab' album than he was with their last one.

 

Seriously though I saw them on Jules Holland a few weeks ago and they were dire, each song sounded the same and I had to stop the missus slashing her wrists.  I think it was only the fact that she needed me so badly that got me through the experience of Coldplay playing.

 

Overall "Not too bad in parts...". I am lying again - please refer to said review.

Posted on: 29 May 2014 by Big Bill
Originally Posted by Char Wallah:

I had an awful nightmare last night, I was dreaming I was listening to Cockplay and liking it.

This points to a deep-seated and firmly fixated eating of cheese too late at night.  Remember, if you feel hungry at night then DON'T EAT CHEESE or Cheasy-Peas.

 

To all those who say we are going over the top and we are doing it because it is trendy to criticise this band then I say B"*^"^S.  If they didn't take themselves so seriously then I don't think we would be so vitriolic but they do and so we are.  If you see what I mean.  Not only that but the songs I have heard from this album on Jules and the Radio are truly awful, I even prefer Robbie Williams to Coldplay these days and I really don't like the so-smug Mr Williams and his pretensions of talent.

Posted on: 29 May 2014 by GraemeH

The art of the critical review is a fine line between unfunny and plain insulting rant (which the Coldplay one is) and the wryly critical clever and funny - which this one is I think:

 

http://www.theguardian.com/fil...review-nicole-kidman

 

G

Posted on: 29 May 2014 by Big Bill
Originally Posted by GraemeH:

The art of the critical review is a fine line between unfunny and plain insulting rant (which the Coldplay one is) and the wryly critical clever and funny - which this one is I think:

 

http://www.theguardian.com/fil...review-nicole-kidman

 

G

 Yup I agree that it is a good and witty review but I have to say that the 'effing and blinding' review about Coldplay did make me laugh and the reason is, as I said before, that they take themselves so seriously.  That alone makes the review valid imo.

 

Nicole Kidman was pretty good in Bangkok Hilton but has been pretty poor ever since and 'Grace' does not seem to have changed anything there then.

 

Interesting that they mention the film 'Marnie', which is an absolutely cracking film, one of Hitchcock's best imo.  Grace Kelly didn't take the role because Marlie was played by the lovely, gorgeous, one hell of a fit babe, drop dead gorgeous Tippy Hedren, who I believe was very attractive.  She was brilliant in this film.

Posted on: 29 May 2014 by GraemeH
Originally Posted by Big Bill:
Originally Posted by GraemeH:

The art of the critical review is a fine line between unfunny and plain insulting rant (which the Coldplay one is) and the wryly critical clever and funny - which this one is I think:

 

http://www.theguardian.com/fil...review-nicole-kidman

 

...Grace Kelly didn't take the role because Marlie was played by the lovely, gorgeous, one hell of a fit babe, drop dead gorgeous Tippy Hedren, who I believe was very attractive.  She was brilliant in this film.

That obviously explains why she was also chosen for 'The Birds' ...

 

G

Posted on: 29 May 2014 by Jota
Originally Posted by rodwsmith:
Originally Posted by tonym:

Perhaps my sense of humour has deserted me, but that "review" is absolute cr*p. The sort of thing a 12-year old might write I suppose, to be giggled at by schoolboys.

 

I personally don't like Coldplay (I've never heard this album to be fair either) but it seems all this vitriol's heaped on them because it's trendy to do so.

 

+1

 

I don't think that Ghost Stories is their best record by a long way though (listened only three times though). Somehow, his voice and angst seem to collide into something genuinely whiney. When he was happy it sounded fine.

 

I'v e no idea why it is fashionable to hate the popular (and purely for being popular - they are very talented musicians and song-writers). Seems more sensible to hate people who jump on the hatred bandwagon, especially via the mechanism of hastily written puerile nonsense that can't have taken twenty minutes to do (even assuming they were wanking at the same time - which seems like a very safe assumption indeed).

At the very least 'Ghost Stories' took a long time to write, record and produce, and the artwork is beautifully done too.

 

I would hate them if they were the most unpopular band on Mars and had never played on Earth.

Posted on: 30 May 2014 by Big Bill

Come on Jota don't sit on the fence.

 

Why is it that nowadays we can't dislike someone like Coldplay without being accused of jumping on a bandwagon?  Seems to me that rodwsmith's attack on the 'effing and blinding' review is as bad as that review itself.

 

Still at least the artwork is beautifully done or so we are told.  Bet it ain't better than the Dead's skeleton album cover though!  Hey what was that guy's name who used to do the Ossebeza (apologise for spelling) and Yes album covers?  He was the Dog's dangly bits, he really was.

Posted on: 30 May 2014 by GraemeH

Roger Dean.

Posted on: 30 May 2014 by tonym

There's no problem folks disliking particular bands, but unless they've killed your dog or done something equally reprehensible to you personally, how can you possibly hate them? And if I got to hating musicians who were too "up themselves" I'd have precious little to listen to.

 

Still, I don't suppose Coldplay will be too perturbed by the hatefest they seem to attract; they're laughing all the way to the bank!