My UK nightmare..................

Posted by: Don Atkinson on 18 March 2017

I had a dream - but it's been shattered by Brexit and Scottish Independence.

The dream turned into a nightmare..................

TM has SOLD the UK, lock, stock and barrel to China. Yes !. the land (farming and recreation), the natural resources (including oil and gas), the infrastructure (Power stations, electricity grid, water, gas, sewage system, roads, railways bridges, ports and airports, schools, hospitals, Local Authorities), all our houses, hotels and businesses, (the car industry, aircraft and shipbuilding), defence and law-enforcement..........you name it, it's been sold !

We didn't get much for it, only £350m, but let's face it, there wasn't much left in public or British Private ownership any way, most of it was already in German, Spannish, Japanese, Chinese, Qatari or EdF hands. And £350m is a hell of a lot of money these days (or so I have been told by Boris !)

But the good news is that China has said it will invest in all the above and merely charge us for our use. (my accountant friend at KMPG said all the big companies do this as soon as they get a new Chief Accountant and most such companies manage to survive for at least a year before they fold - so not to worry).

I understand that the initial rent has been set at £350m per day and that 100 million Chinese workers will arrive over the next 2 years to take on the task of running these assets because they don't come under the post-Brexit EU immigration rules and according to the new owners they are a far more disciplined workforce than the remains of the current workforce, now that the Poles and other East Europeans are on their way back to more attractive prospects in the EU.

This means none of us will have to work (or be allowed to work) so we shall all be able to enjoy a permenant "Greek" style holiday for evermore in the UK. And since that means we won't ever have to go "abroad" for our holidays and eat all that horibble "foreign" food instead of good old Fish & Chips we'll all be happy ever after. - But it still looked like a nightmare to me !

As in all mightmares, the details were rather fuzzy and inconsistent, but the overall picture was...............frightenning.

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by Timmo1341

What on earth have you been smoking?

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by u77033103172058601

I think your vision of the future is far rosier than the one Maggie May and her Nasty Party have planned for us.

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by wenger2015
Nick from Suffolk posted:

I think your vision of the future is far rosier than the one Maggie May and her Nasty Party have planned for us.

Nasty party? Please explain.... 

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by Chris G

Never mind Don, we can still buy our Cadbury Creme Eggs and Terry's Chocolate oranges - oh dear, I think you may be right!

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by Don Atkinson
Chris G posted:

Never mind Don, we can still buy our Cadbury Creme Eggs and Terry's Chocolate oranges - oh dear, I think you may be right!

Oops, I forgot about those Krafty Americans....

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by Wugged Woy
Timmo1341 posted:

What on earth have you been smoking?

Exactly.Image result for frankie howerd up pompeii Moan, moan and thrice moan................

 

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by Dave***t
wenger2015 posted:
Nick from Suffolk posted:

I think your vision of the future is far rosier than the one Maggie May and her Nasty Party have planned for us.

Nasty party? Please explain.... 

The slang name for the conservative party, coined by May herself IIRC.

Posted on: 18 March 2017 by Don Atkinson
Wugged Woy posted:
Timmo1341 posted:

What on earth have you been smoking?

Exactly.Image result for frankie howerd up pompeii Moan, moan and thrice moan................

 

Try "spoof"..............

Posted on: 19 March 2017 by joerand

Interesting topic Don. I had a nightmare where Donald Trump was president of the US. Please tell me I'm still dreaming.

Posted on: 19 March 2017 by Harry

You are still dreaming.

Did that help any?

Posted on: 20 March 2017 by joerand

That helps immensely. I'll set my alarm for four years. Maybe Quentin Terantino will be President?

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by Don Atkinson

Last week it was a mere nightmare, this week, I find that it is happening, but I was wrong about it being China, it is now Qatar......at least, according to the BBC website !!

One of the largest investors in the UK has committed £5bn of new money to invest in transport, property and digital technology.

The Middle Eastern state of Qatar said that it was optimistic about the future of the British economy.

It made it clear that the UK leaving the European Union had little bearing on their decision.

Qatar has already invested £40bn in the UK - it owns Harrods and a 95% stake in the Shard in London.

It also has a stake in Canary Wharf in the capital's Docklands, as well as an interest in the Milford Haven liquefied natural gas terminal in South Wales.

It also bought the Olympic Village following the London 2012 Olympics.

"Currently the UK is our first investment destination and it is the largest investment destination for Qatari investors, both public and private," Ali Shareef al Emadi, the country's finance minister, told the BBC.

"We have more than £35bn to £40bn of investments already in the UK.

"We're announcing an additional £5bn of investment in the next three to five years.

"Mainly this investment will focus on infrastructure sectors, technology, energy and real estate."

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by Romi
joerand posted:

Interesting topic Don. I had a nightmare where Donald Trump was president of the US. Please tell me I'm still dreaming.

But it may turn into a nightmare when the wall is built.... 

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by dayjay

You can't have it both ways, even in a smoke induced nightmare, either no one will invest in Britain again following Brexit and they will all set up in Germany, or all of our companies will be purchased by foreign buggers who are investing in post Brexit Britain.  It's one or the other

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by Don Atkinson
dayjay posted:

You can't have it both ways, even in a smoke induced nightmare, either no one will invest in Britain again following Brexit and they will all set up in Germany, or all of our companies will be purchased by foreign buggers who are investing in post Brexit Britain.  It's one or the other

That looks like the choice between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea..............

How about we (the citizens of the UK) invest in our infrastructure, businesses and services ? Ok, forget it !

Qatar has the money. How did they get the money. Oil. Who found the oil ? Who recovers the oil. Who buys the oil. Ok, its not as simple as that, but..............

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by Eloise
dayjay posted:

You can't have it both ways, even in a smoke induced nightmare, either no one will invest in Britain again following Brexit and they will all set up in Germany, or all of our companies will be purchased by foreign buggers who are investing in post Brexit Britain.  It's one or the other

It depends what is meant by "investment" ... is the investment just buying up all the infrastructure and property without bringing any meaningful input and improvements, banking that values will rise regardless; or are they bringing the kind of investments which will provide jobs and generally contribute to the United Kingdom?

Nothing is black and white...

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by Ardbeg10y

You still have an admirable country, every time I travel to England (not Wales / Schotland) it gives me good feelings.

But things changed when Fish and Chips were not sold anymore in real newspapers but in China printed imitation newspapers.

It can't be that long ago. I remember clearly that I got my chips in newspapers and an disgusting amount of vinegar on it.

The feelings expressed on this topic are well understood by me and when travelling for all kind of business assignments to various countries (e.g. your former beloveth India) I recognized that one virtue is undoubtly only present in the western world: unlimited and unbounded creativity.

Use that and prosper.

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by Christopher_M
Ardbeg10y posted:

But things changed when Fish and Chips were not sold anymore in real newspapers but in China printed imitation newspapers.

It's a postmodern world.

C.

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by Eloise
Ardbeg10y posted:

But things changed when Fish and Chips were not sold anymore in real newspapers but in China printed imitation newspapers.

It can't be that long ago. I remember clearly that I got my chips in newspapers and an disgusting amount of vinegar on it.

Wrapped in newspaper was never good for fish and chips ... they steam too much.

Posted on: 27 March 2017 by naim_nymph

Hey Don,

have you heard about the new French car?

It's called, 'Le Vauxhall'  

Posted on: 28 March 2017 by Christopher_M

Today on R4 have just appealed for our emailed questions, in an attempt to find answers on tomorrow's programme.

today@bbc.co.uk

C.