Pizzas Must Shrink

Posted by: Florestan on 13 October 2018

Finally!  I was worried that the UK government was running out of targets to ban or ordinary people to suppress in its quest to control everything and everyone.  They have redeemed themselves though by going after pizzas now.  

Never mind the big issues like the economy or security of the nation, it seems many (too many) across western nations seem to agree that this is a governments soul purpose.  Parents no longer have to be parents because the government knows best?

Actually, the real reason pizzas have too many calories is because of the brilliant decision to first ban knives.  Without any other option, kids now had to eat the whole pizza because their right to cut the pizza was taken away.

When governments get involved in the lives and homes of people you just know that failure on every level is assured.  Agree or disagree?

In order to help ensure that the government never runs out of things to control and screw up for everyone, what should the next targets be?  I say remote controls have gotten off too easy.  All new TV's should be forced to have the knobs and controls on the panel again so we have to get up to change anything.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/ne...t-anti-obesity-plan/

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by nigelb

Totally agree.

To add to this nonsense, Dominos and the like will be rubbing their hands as they can now sell smaller pizzas (because the government have told them to) at the same price as the old larger ones, and we get to live longer! Everyone's a winner. Thank goodness the government stepped in to save us from ourselves.

Hold on a minute though.

ME: 'If I am still hungry after my healthier, smaller pizza, will I be able to order an extra one?'

GOVERNMENT MINISTER IN CHARGE OF SAVING US FROM OURSELVES: 'Yes'

ME: 'Phew!. But won't two slightly smaller pizzas be more calories that one slightly larger one?'

GOVERNMENT MINISTER IN CHARGE OF SAVING US FROM OURSELVES: 'D'oh, hadn't thought of that'

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by Florestan

Perfect analysis Nigel !  And you did it using common sense and for free !!  Imagine how many millions of pounds the government spent of our money to tell us that we can't think for ourselves.

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by Florestan

Perhaps we shouldn't have let the secret out that in the end we'll just buy two.  Plan B in this case would be to slap a tax on certain types of foods and drinks?  What else is an oversized government without any vision to do?

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by MDS

I completely support this policy announcement. After Brexit everything in the UK is going to better and bigger, including pizza, so we clearly need a responsible government to step in and save us from ourselves.  

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by Florestan
MDS (+Brussels) posted:

I completely support this policy announcement. After Brexit everything in the UK is going to better be the same and bigger but smaller, including pizza, so we clearly NEED a responsible subservient government, that looks and acts like her EU big brother, to step in carry on as usual and save us from ourselves and continue to screw all individuals and households royally.  

Sorry but Brussels insisted on editing your faulty wording to keep the messaging true and consistent.  

 

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by Florestan

MDS, do you really believe anything would change as a result of this supremely brilliant proposed legislation (ie. obesity in youth reverses)?  Just as with all the other banned objects, I suppose you think it is the pizza or pies fault that kids are more obese?  Perhaps we could agree on the fact that pizzas don't eat themselves?  Or do we need the government to confirm this first?

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by MDS
Florestan posted:
MDS (+Brussels) posted:

I completely support this policy announcement. After Brexit everything in the UK is going to better be the same and bigger but smaller, including pizza, so we clearly NEED a responsible subservient government, that looks and acts like her EU big brother, to step in carry on as usual and save us from ourselves and continue to screw all individuals and households royally.  

Sorry but Brussels insisted on editing your faulty wording to keep the messaging true and consistent.  

 

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by nigelb

Do I sense thread drift? Can we all pleeeease focus on small pizzas, or I shall need to report this thread drift to Richard.

Thank you.

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by nigelb

Just thought of some brand new pizza names for when the new regime comes in, that Dominos might just be interested in:

The Petite Pizza

Puny Pizza Pie

Pizza Pathetique (see, that has a continental twist)

Piddly Pizza (in thin crust only I'm afraid)

What do you think? Should I be copywriting these names?

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by Gazza

You need a nice music session .....to get a grip. Itís not FishíníChips after all?

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by MDS
Florestan posted:

MDS, do you really believe anything would change as a result of this supremely brilliant proposed legislation (ie. obesity in youth reverses)?  Just as with all the other banned objects, I suppose you think it is the pizza or pies fault that kids are more obese?  Perhaps we could agree on the fact that pizzas don't eat themselves?  Or do we need the government to confirm this first?

Florestan - to be more serious than my earlier post, I find this sort of 'nanny State' initiative both annoying and depressing. Annoying because I don't expect any government to be telling me how I should live my life - I'm a grown up and am perfectly capable of behaving in a responsible way without being told how.  I find it depressing because I know that, unfortunately, there are quite a few people about who seem incapable of acting responsibly towards themselves and, worse, their children.  These people seem oblivious to common-sense health guidance.  For evidence look at the rise in obesity (the second biggest cause of cancer, if the health experts are to be believed).  I haven't looked at the detail behind this particular policy announcement but I strongly suspect that some health experts, statisticians and accountants have worked out the cost on the NHS from irresponsible people over-eating and developing type 2 diabetes etc and calculated how costs could be reduced if x percent of them changed their lifestyles.  Unfortunately I think the initiative will have no effect whatsoever.  If people want to be stupid they will find a way of doing so.

Finally, and to return to my flippant side, I suspect there is another bunch of actuaries and accountants who could produce a respectable business case to show that the state pension payments saved by such people dying early would off-set the cost burden on the NHS from treating them. But then these budgets are managed by different bits of government, at least in the UK.  Who would want to be in government?    

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by Kevin-W

Black Olives Matter.

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by nigelb
Gazza posted:

You need a nice music session .....to get a grip. Itís not FishíníChips after all?

That is the great thing about the Padded Cell, no one has to get a grip. I was actually listening to Cara Dillon when I came up with the Pizza names, so can we blame her?

Posted on: 13 October 2018 by Gazza

No she is rather lovely.....like fish,n,chips.....nice bit of rock eel????

 

Posted on: 14 October 2018 by TOBYJUG

Well at least we can all buy gay cakes now.

Posted on: 14 October 2018 by nigelb

So cakes have a sexual orientation? Blimey!

Posted on: 14 October 2018 by MDS

I've long been partial to a bit of Victoria sponge.

Posted on: 14 October 2018 by Ardbeg10y

Why must pizzas shrink? They already get smaller to us relatively.

Posted on: 15 October 2018 by ChrisSU

A couple of years ago, I noticed a new block of student accommodation was built near the university near me. The ground floor of this building is a Dominos Pizza joint. No government is going to win a fight against the fast food industry.