Help needed with WAF strategy!

Posted by: JohanR on 05 November 2003

The other day I managed to stumble over a new girlfriend!

For the moment I'm trying my best to keep here out of my house but one day, of course, the invasion will come. And I very much like to keep my HiFi system as is, complete with very special room acoustics (occupying a bedroom that, I'm sure will be argued, could be used to other things, like sleeping in) and ugly M**a tables.

I would also like to have some leaveage for future upgrades.

What to do?

Some ideas of my own.

- Stunn her with the model railroad (it's occupying the other bedroom) first. After that she will be so numbed by the shock that everything else will get through.

- Prepare for future upgrades by buying up a stock of unused Naim boxes for show that later (and secretely) can be turned into working ones. Maybe manufacture something out of chip board to look like DBL:s (with tiny current Royd:s inside).

- Give it up and sell off the HiFi (like a friends friend is doing with his active DBL system in preparation for the upcoming wife), put the model railroad in boxes and hope for the future.

- Play it cool and say "This is me, take it or leave it!".

- Or?

JohanR
Posted on: 05 November 2003 by Markus S
Johan,

you should check out the "critical listening session" thread in the HiFi Room. Mr S Toy has lots of invaluable advice there!

And have you been to her place? If she owns, say, the world's largest collection of fluffy bunnies, you should be safe with your own idiosyncrasies.

If, however, she owns a Linn Classik, your relationship is doomed from the off.
Posted on: 05 November 2003 by BigH47
"This is me take it or leave it" is the ONLY answer. Why change your self if she can't accept you as is, she ain't worth being with in the long run.( good album title though)
IMHO

Howard
Posted on: 05 November 2003 by Steve Toy
Find out what her favourite tune is and play it at a critical moment.

It worked for me.

Otherwise I'm with BigH47. For sure she'll test those boundaries of yours and see how far she can push you, but will also be(secretly) pleased to find that you don't budge on issues that are important to you, and she will have greater respect for you as a result.

If you then show her the same respect you're onto a winner.



Regards,

Steve.
Posted on: 05 November 2003 by JohanR
quote:
Find out what her favourite tune is and play it at a critical moment.


Her favourite seem to be Celine Deone Eek

But otherwise your and Howards advice is probably the right one.

JohanR
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by garyi
Ditch the train set, you will be most of the way there then.
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Tarquin Maynard - Portly
JohanR

Learn to lick your own eyebrows.

Regards

Mike

On the Yellow Brick Road and happy
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by herm
Look Johan, I'm going to give you some Toy-like tough guy advice. You literally stumbled over this girl, so we are to take it she was lying down in the street to get your attention? These Swedish girls will stop at nothing... I wouldn't worry too much.

Herman

Waiver: all of the above was said in jest (+ you're out of your mind to ask this kind of questions)
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Dave J
Garyi's advice is sound - if she sees that, how can I put this politely, it'll have a detrimental impact on the more adventurous physical elements of your relationship.
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by JohanR
quote:
These Swedish girls will stop at nothing... I wouldn't worry too much.


Well, this is of course the popular myth about Swedish girls. I don't like to put your whole world upside down Herman, but, brace yourself... Ok, holding firmly to something...

It's not true. As a Swede and therefore living among them for my whole life I would argue the complete oposite. Sad as it is for me (why wasn't I born in Brasil... Of course this could be a prejudice of my own Smile ).

JohanR
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Geoff P
Is'nt it a bit dangerous going any further with somebody who likes Celine Dion?
Or does your HiFi allow those sort of sounds to be played?

GEOFFP
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by JohanR
My current plan is to tear away the part of the model railroad that goes into the living room, get rid of the special acoustics in the "music room" and keeping the M**a.

Celine Dion is still a problem. Can one argue that listening to her looses ones credibility on the favourite internet forum? Or can you guys promise to look in another direction when she is mentioned by me?

JohanR
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Derek Wright
Do not get rid of the railroad stuff it will come in useful regardless of the outcome of the relationship

ie consolation for you
or
fun for the grankids in 30 years time <g>

Derek

<< >>
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by domfjbrown
"This is me - take it or leave it" is the one I'd go for too.

Why should you change so soon on - if you do she'll see "doormat" and you're stuffed. As others say, stick to your guns on things, but don't be totally unreasonable.

Until she moves in, you pay for your house. Your house your rules.

I wander why I'm still single? He he he he...

__________________________
Make your choice, adventurous Stranger;
Strike the bell and bide the danger
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had.

Posted on: 06 November 2003 by JohanR
quote:
Why should you change so soon on - if you do she'll see "doormat" and you're stuffed. As others say, stick to your guns on things, but don't be totally unreasonable.


The idea is to do some changes BEFORE she se it for the first time (to be honest, most male friends find my "decoration style" a bit hard to swallow Wink ). Just to be on the safe side...

JohanR
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Markus S
Johan,

I see from your profile you're about middle-aged. If one lives alone long enough, one tends to indulge in one's hobbies to a degree which can indeed be off-putting to others who enter the situation unprepared.

You're also correct in thinking ahead about the impression your flat makes on a prospective partner: she'll probably use your flat to size you up further as potential boyfriend/partner material. What she probably wants to see is if she would feel comfortable living with you. If your flat is currently a playpen/listening studio, it is probably not what she would want to live in.

In other words, if she thinks you're going to extremes in living out your interests, she'll see no place for herself in that scenario.

So, I would concur with others here: don't hide your passions (for Mana and model railroads I mean), but present them in a way which leaves room for her.
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by BigH47
Middle aged he's YOUNG.

Howard Frown
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by herm
omigod

quote:
Originally posted by Markus Sauer:
I see from your profile you're about middle-aged.


So did I. Omigod, if you're 45 years old and you're still scrambling for advice when you've met a woman, I'd say you're beyond advice.

Just enjoy yourself while it lasts, and if you're not too defensive (as above) you might have a very nice time together.

Herman
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Rasher
My advice....nah....you don't want my advice..
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by JRHardee
How old is she?
Women of a certain age will realize that when you are in the living room listening to music, that you are not in a bar, spending lots of money getting drunk, and eyeing other women.
Take her to a concert or two, buy a few of the bands' CDs, and listen to them together. Make sure the volume is low enough that you can hear everything she has to say.
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Rasher
Very helpful Alan...Now let's go to your public profile and see what you do for a living, shall we? Wink
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by herm
Well, he imports, and when he doesn't he exports.

My thought was it was all very well to propose to "shag her silly and run like hell", but that won't necessarily work when you're fifteen years older and have spent most of that time with model railroads (and hifi).

Herman
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by long-time-dead
quote:
My thought was it was all very well to propose to "shag her silly and run like hell", but that won't necessarily work when you're fifteen years older and have spent most of that time with model railroads (and hifi).

Herman


So you then "shag her silly and take her to the Bingo !" Big Grin

If you are worried about WAF and she's not seen your home, let alone your possessions - remove all lightbulbs and only take her home at night.
Posted on: 06 November 2003 by Steve Toy
The train set is a tricky one - it presents you as a confirmed bachelor with no room in his house never mind his life for a partner.

Unlike the hi-fi where 99% of the time it's there for musical enjoyment that you can both share - with only 1% of the time spent fiddling; with the train set I guess it's more like 99% of the time spent fiddling, with just 1% watching the trains going round and round and round the track...

Dismantle the train set and enjoy rebuilding it in the attic out of the way.



Regards,

Steve.
Posted on: 07 November 2003 by Rasher
Yes Steve, but that is the complete opposite advice given on the Model Railway forum Wink
Posted on: 07 November 2003 by andy c
quote:
Her favourite seem to be Celine Deone

Ok this is a yellow card at least. tell her you'll lose 10% of the railway in return for using Celine's Cds as coastters!
Red card is the Mana - if she can't hear the differance then she either moans too much (good for you!) or can't hear at all....